How do you keep the faith when tragedy strikes?
Southern through and through
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: In.....trouble :-)
Posts: 1,453
How do you keep the faith when tragedy strikes?
I hesitated to even title my post as I KNOW how I'm supposed to keep the faith....trust in the Lord. But today has been a heartbreaker for our family.
The last couple of days at our house have been rough. Our daughter has decided that she needs college age friends and I can't blame her. She has basically been hanging with her AA friends, but they are mostly 30 and 40 year olds and my daughter is 20. There are NOT a lot of young people in AA or in her AA group, thus she's been hanging with older people. And that is getting old to her.
Well, since she's been in school this semester, seems she's making college friend which I think is normal. But I'll admit I've worried very much about the KIND of friends she's making. I think we all would agree that MOST college kids are into partying at some time or another. Well, my fears haven't been for naught for I found out this week she has been lying to me. Her attendance at meetings has trailed off plus she is now thinking it is okay to hang with people who are drinking. And that has brought on some 'delightful' discussions at our house in the past two days if you know what I mean.
I'm seeing old behavior...the lying, the defensiveness, the attitude. Makes me very worried and I can't seem to Let Go and Let God.
And then this a.m., we get the saddest news which only brought me to feeling even more fearful. One of our dear friends' son died last night due to alcohol/drugs. Seems he threw up in his sleep and choked to death. This boy had been struggling with his problem for years.
Now I'm sure you can figure out how scared and weak kneed I got when my husband called me this a.m. and told me the news. It just hit way too close to home. My husband was fighting back tears on the phone and my husband is one of those men who DOES NOT cry.
I've prayed, I've read Al Anon books and I talked to the daughter today. I was seeing her slipping back into old ways. She KNOWS better. She's been in treatment. She has 5 months sober, yet has struggled just this past week due to a boyfriend problem. She's just plain lonely and looking for friends. She wants to be 'normal' and get to do like other college kids.
I want so badly to Let Go and Let God handle all this for me. I want this fear to go away. Went to Al Anon meeting last night and only one woman showed. She's a dear lady but had no advice as her A is her husband and he's been sober for quite sometime now.
I've cried all afternoon over this boy who died as a result of drugs. I don't want to see that happen to my daughter or any of our children. I wish someone could give me a guarantee. I'm scared, just plain scared. And I know that's not working a good Al Anon program, but today......I'm scared.
The last couple of days at our house have been rough. Our daughter has decided that she needs college age friends and I can't blame her. She has basically been hanging with her AA friends, but they are mostly 30 and 40 year olds and my daughter is 20. There are NOT a lot of young people in AA or in her AA group, thus she's been hanging with older people. And that is getting old to her.
Well, since she's been in school this semester, seems she's making college friend which I think is normal. But I'll admit I've worried very much about the KIND of friends she's making. I think we all would agree that MOST college kids are into partying at some time or another. Well, my fears haven't been for naught for I found out this week she has been lying to me. Her attendance at meetings has trailed off plus she is now thinking it is okay to hang with people who are drinking. And that has brought on some 'delightful' discussions at our house in the past two days if you know what I mean.
I'm seeing old behavior...the lying, the defensiveness, the attitude. Makes me very worried and I can't seem to Let Go and Let God.
And then this a.m., we get the saddest news which only brought me to feeling even more fearful. One of our dear friends' son died last night due to alcohol/drugs. Seems he threw up in his sleep and choked to death. This boy had been struggling with his problem for years.
Now I'm sure you can figure out how scared and weak kneed I got when my husband called me this a.m. and told me the news. It just hit way too close to home. My husband was fighting back tears on the phone and my husband is one of those men who DOES NOT cry.
I've prayed, I've read Al Anon books and I talked to the daughter today. I was seeing her slipping back into old ways. She KNOWS better. She's been in treatment. She has 5 months sober, yet has struggled just this past week due to a boyfriend problem. She's just plain lonely and looking for friends. She wants to be 'normal' and get to do like other college kids.
I want so badly to Let Go and Let God handle all this for me. I want this fear to go away. Went to Al Anon meeting last night and only one woman showed. She's a dear lady but had no advice as her A is her husband and he's been sober for quite sometime now.
I've cried all afternoon over this boy who died as a result of drugs. I don't want to see that happen to my daughter or any of our children. I wish someone could give me a guarantee. I'm scared, just plain scared. And I know that's not working a good Al Anon program, but today......I'm scared.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
****{Hangin'}}}
I often find that it is exactly times like this, when I am at my lowest that I am better able to connect with God. It's at the times when I feel most powerless, that I can feel His power.
My mother used to have this poem on her kitchen wall, and it has helped me so many times, and I hope it helps you.
What God Hath Promised
God hath not promised skies always blue,
Flower strewn pathways all our lives through.
God hath not promised sun without rain,
Joy without sorrow, peace without pain.
God hath not promised that we shall not know
Toil and temptation, trouble and woe.
He hath not told us that we shall not bear
Many a burden, many a care.
But God hath promised strength for the day,
Rest for the laborer, light for the way,
Grace for the trials, help from above,
Undying sympathy, undying love.
~Annie Johnson Flint~
I often find that it is exactly times like this, when I am at my lowest that I am better able to connect with God. It's at the times when I feel most powerless, that I can feel His power.
My mother used to have this poem on her kitchen wall, and it has helped me so many times, and I hope it helps you.
What God Hath Promised
God hath not promised skies always blue,
Flower strewn pathways all our lives through.
God hath not promised sun without rain,
Joy without sorrow, peace without pain.
God hath not promised that we shall not know
Toil and temptation, trouble and woe.
He hath not told us that we shall not bear
Many a burden, many a care.
But God hath promised strength for the day,
Rest for the laborer, light for the way,
Grace for the trials, help from above,
Undying sympathy, undying love.
~Annie Johnson Flint~
Member
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: That's what I'd like to know.
Posts: 2,416
(((((( Hangin' in ))))))
I know how frightening it is when a tragedy like this strikes so close to you. A good friend of mine lost her son last year to cocaine. I am thinking of you and sending extra hugs.
Love,
Smoke
I know how frightening it is when a tragedy like this strikes so close to you. A good friend of mine lost her son last year to cocaine. I am thinking of you and sending extra hugs.
Love,
Smoke
Member
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: North Vancouver, British Columbia
Posts: 1,714
(((((Hangin' In))))) Just wanted to say how sorry I am to hear your news. I know how things like this bring the tragedy of addiction so much closer to home. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.
Love and hugs.
Love and hugs.
Guest
Posts: n/a
Hangin,
I'm so sorry for your loss and I so understand your fear. I've experienced it so many times.
The truth is that any of us could die tomorrow. There is no guantee for anyone. Tragedy strikes all humanity. Our faith can't be placed on our circumstances.
THE WILL OF GOD
The will of God will never take you,
Where the grace of God cannot keep you,
Where the arms of God cannot support you,
Where the riches of God cannot supply your needs,
Where the power of God cannot endow you.
The will of God will never take you,
Where the Spirit of God cannot work through you,
Where the wisdom of God cannot teach you,
Where the army of God cannot protect you,
Where the hands of God cannot mold you.
The will of God will never take you,
Where the love of God cannot enfold you,
Where the mercies of God cannot sustain you,
Where the peace of God cannot calm your fears,
Where the authority of God cannot overrule for you.
The will of God will never take you,
Where the comfort of God cannot dry your tears,
Where the Word of God cannot feed you,
Where the miracles of God cannot be done for you,
Where the omnipresence of God cannot find you.
Try to live in today and do the next right thing. We don't know what will happen so fearing what might happen is just putting you through pain that might be for nothing. We waste our todays worring about tomorrow. What wonderful time can you spend with your daughter today that will bring good memories in tomorrow. We are powerless over their addiction, but not powerless over the time we spend with them and the quality of that time.
Hugs,
MG
I'm so sorry for your loss and I so understand your fear. I've experienced it so many times.
The truth is that any of us could die tomorrow. There is no guantee for anyone. Tragedy strikes all humanity. Our faith can't be placed on our circumstances.
THE WILL OF GOD
The will of God will never take you,
Where the grace of God cannot keep you,
Where the arms of God cannot support you,
Where the riches of God cannot supply your needs,
Where the power of God cannot endow you.
The will of God will never take you,
Where the Spirit of God cannot work through you,
Where the wisdom of God cannot teach you,
Where the army of God cannot protect you,
Where the hands of God cannot mold you.
The will of God will never take you,
Where the love of God cannot enfold you,
Where the mercies of God cannot sustain you,
Where the peace of God cannot calm your fears,
Where the authority of God cannot overrule for you.
The will of God will never take you,
Where the comfort of God cannot dry your tears,
Where the Word of God cannot feed you,
Where the miracles of God cannot be done for you,
Where the omnipresence of God cannot find you.
Try to live in today and do the next right thing. We don't know what will happen so fearing what might happen is just putting you through pain that might be for nothing. We waste our todays worring about tomorrow. What wonderful time can you spend with your daughter today that will bring good memories in tomorrow. We are powerless over their addiction, but not powerless over the time we spend with them and the quality of that time.
Hugs,
MG
Paused
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: ohio
Posts: 322
((((hangin in))))
God bless you this day
I feel your anguish especially in light of the
death of your friends boy.
I've been in a hard place the last few days as my
27 yr old daughter is detoxing herself, she lives out of town
and her calls, the shaking, the liver pain,the everything in
her body hurts pain. She has a husband, not much of a program
and no sponser (they're all older !), many excuses, and now this..
and last night and today I get no answer calling her.I have wanted in my heart to run to her, but my HP is not saying to do that. It caused her to call an AA hot line and intergroup and they
helped her on the phone, she was going to a meeting last night. but who knows.
Hangin in I have no answers but do continue to pray and believe that your HP has a plan for her that is not the one we would choose. People die but so many live to carry the message.
love
liddy
God bless you this day
I feel your anguish especially in light of the
death of your friends boy.
I've been in a hard place the last few days as my
27 yr old daughter is detoxing herself, she lives out of town
and her calls, the shaking, the liver pain,the everything in
her body hurts pain. She has a husband, not much of a program
and no sponser (they're all older !), many excuses, and now this..
and last night and today I get no answer calling her.I have wanted in my heart to run to her, but my HP is not saying to do that. It caused her to call an AA hot line and intergroup and they
helped her on the phone, she was going to a meeting last night. but who knows.
Hangin in I have no answers but do continue to pray and believe that your HP has a plan for her that is not the one we would choose. People die but so many live to carry the message.
love
liddy
Southern through and through
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: In.....trouble :-)
Posts: 1,453
Thank you all so much for your love and support. I was just reading something in the "Hope for Today" Al Anon book which reminded me that there is nothing productive about living in fear.
As a couple of days have passed, the fear has lessened as I've tried to refocus on trusting God and knowing the He knows what is best for my daughter and for all of us.
For those of you who are praying people, please pray for our friends who lost their son. Most of their family lives out of state so the services for their son will not be held until Tuesday.
Thanks again for all your kind words. I know God led me to this website and uses each of you everyday to encourage me. I love ya'll for walking this road with me.
Love,
Hangin'In
As a couple of days have passed, the fear has lessened as I've tried to refocus on trusting God and knowing the He knows what is best for my daughter and for all of us.
For those of you who are praying people, please pray for our friends who lost their son. Most of their family lives out of state so the services for their son will not be held until Tuesday.
Thanks again for all your kind words. I know God led me to this website and uses each of you everyday to encourage me. I love ya'll for walking this road with me.
Love,
Hangin'In
Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,431
Hangin In,
My heart goes out to you.
I wasn't sure what I wanted to say and I feel JT best qualified to speak to this.
I also lost my son to tragedy, albeit a different kind.
But I certainly understand the struggle with faith.
It is my belief that EVERYTHING that happens is not "the will of God"...there is the age old dilemna of the real presence of evil in this world.
With the gift of free will came the reality of evil.
To use Christianity.....God said do not eat from the tree...and they did it anyway.
Every human has the choice and ability to do good or evil...and all of us are both.
Often the consequence of bad choices is tragedy....of one kind or another.
It has been explained to me that while all is forgiven, that does not remove the consequences.
Further, I want to add, tragedy strikes the innocent, as well,...I had to add that lest we too easily blame another for misfortune.
I understand your fear so well. We can hope that this may have an impact on your daughter that she may learn from
Many hugs to you!
love,
live
My heart goes out to you.
I wasn't sure what I wanted to say and I feel JT best qualified to speak to this.
I also lost my son to tragedy, albeit a different kind.
But I certainly understand the struggle with faith.
It is my belief that EVERYTHING that happens is not "the will of God"...there is the age old dilemna of the real presence of evil in this world.
With the gift of free will came the reality of evil.
To use Christianity.....God said do not eat from the tree...and they did it anyway.
Every human has the choice and ability to do good or evil...and all of us are both.
Often the consequence of bad choices is tragedy....of one kind or another.
It has been explained to me that while all is forgiven, that does not remove the consequences.
Further, I want to add, tragedy strikes the innocent, as well,...I had to add that lest we too easily blame another for misfortune.
I understand your fear so well. We can hope that this may have an impact on your daughter that she may learn from
Many hugs to you!
love,
live
Member
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Raleigh, NC (Jersey Girl transplant)
Posts: 676
Hangin' In,
I am so sorry for your struggle and the fear and pain you feel. I am praying for your friend's family as they try to deal with this tragedy.
I guess in the end it is what we choose to believe and enpower in our lives that makes the most difference. Believe in her high power working for her and bringing her the next lesson she needs on her journey. Blessed are those that struggle. They will be comforted. God be with you closely this week.
I am so sorry for your struggle and the fear and pain you feel. I am praying for your friend's family as they try to deal with this tragedy.
I guess in the end it is what we choose to believe and enpower in our lives that makes the most difference. Believe in her high power working for her and bringing her the next lesson she needs on her journey. Blessed are those that struggle. They will be comforted. God be with you closely this week.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: georgia
Posts: 531
((((((((((((((((((Hangin))))))))))))))))))))
My heart is breaking.......I understand how unsettling this can be. I would be glad to pray for your friends and I will also pray for you and your family.
Constant
My heart is breaking.......I understand how unsettling this can be. I would be glad to pray for your friends and I will also pray for you and your family.
Constant
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