The detox drama
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: By the sea
Posts: 415
The detox drama
Hi all -
He finally went! Good grief. It was so good to have a night last night not knowing that he was by himself in a room drinking pints of liquor. He should be in there for about four days.
The check in process was ridiculously long (2+ hours!). During which AH began withdrawling bad and ran away (literally). The man at the clinic ran after him but could not convince him to come back. I was driving towards the highway when I spotted him. I pulled over and told him that if he wanted a ride back to the clinic I would bring him. Otherwise, I was driving off. He nodded his head like a little boy and got in. He checked in without a fight. They gave him drugs right away.
I am so disappointed in the way this supposedly "state-of-the-art" facility handled the check-in process! They make a withdrawling and crazy A wait for 2 hours? WTF? And the place wasn't even busy. I was watching them.
I'm "normal" and I was having an axiety attack in that place waiting! I can't imagine how terrible it is for someone who is losing their mind AND withdrawling.
He finally went! Good grief. It was so good to have a night last night not knowing that he was by himself in a room drinking pints of liquor. He should be in there for about four days.
The check in process was ridiculously long (2+ hours!). During which AH began withdrawling bad and ran away (literally). The man at the clinic ran after him but could not convince him to come back. I was driving towards the highway when I spotted him. I pulled over and told him that if he wanted a ride back to the clinic I would bring him. Otherwise, I was driving off. He nodded his head like a little boy and got in. He checked in without a fight. They gave him drugs right away.
I am so disappointed in the way this supposedly "state-of-the-art" facility handled the check-in process! They make a withdrawling and crazy A wait for 2 hours? WTF? And the place wasn't even busy. I was watching them.
I'm "normal" and I was having an axiety attack in that place waiting! I can't imagine how terrible it is for someone who is losing their mind AND withdrawling.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: By the sea
Posts: 415
Great questions.
My AH is still thinking that he will be able to drink like a normal person. He admits that he has a problem (no sh*t!) but thinks he is just a regular guy who drank to sleep at night (yeah right).
The detox program that he checked into has councelling and meetings all day long. So I expect that they will attempt to educate him regarding the nature of alcoholism. It will be interesting to see what he has learned (i.e. chosen to pay attention to) when he is released.
His employer gave him 30 days off. But AH wants to be back at work next week. Of course he should go into rehab! Hopefully the staff in the detox will get through his thick skull and get him to see reality.
My AH is still thinking that he will be able to drink like a normal person. He admits that he has a problem (no sh*t!) but thinks he is just a regular guy who drank to sleep at night (yeah right).
The detox program that he checked into has councelling and meetings all day long. So I expect that they will attempt to educate him regarding the nature of alcoholism. It will be interesting to see what he has learned (i.e. chosen to pay attention to) when he is released.
His employer gave him 30 days off. But AH wants to be back at work next week. Of course he should go into rehab! Hopefully the staff in the detox will get through his thick skull and get him to see reality.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: southern indiana
Posts: 2,145
a light bulb just went off for me on this one, girl.
i always wondered why my xh took a bottle and guzzled it while we were in the car going to detox centers. i always thought he was just trying to get in one more drink...after reading your post, it makes me re-think what he was actually doing....avoiding withdrawals before he was admitted????
imagine the panic of feeling withdrawals coming on in a facility.....i'd probably run too if i were trying to wade through all the admissions processes with a more than fuzzy, sick mind. i know i've went in bathrooms and snuck a smoke before.
it just gives me another reminder of the power of the addiction of alcoholism.
love to you
i always wondered why my xh took a bottle and guzzled it while we were in the car going to detox centers. i always thought he was just trying to get in one more drink...after reading your post, it makes me re-think what he was actually doing....avoiding withdrawals before he was admitted????
imagine the panic of feeling withdrawals coming on in a facility.....i'd probably run too if i were trying to wade through all the admissions processes with a more than fuzzy, sick mind. i know i've went in bathrooms and snuck a smoke before.
it just gives me another reminder of the power of the addiction of alcoholism.
love to you
Acting not reacting
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: My happy place
Posts: 1,788
BTDT.
I chose to meet the admissions counselor give him a hug and leave. I can see now why the admissions counselor suggested that to me. She of course let it be my option.
I wish I would have used more of the time my ex was away getting myself well and detoxed from him. I spent most of that time obsessing over him, his recovery, his counselor, him him him. Blah. If I had it to do over again..I would have emersed myself in reading, meetings, and taking care of ME..bc afterall, he had professionals watching after him!
I chose to meet the admissions counselor give him a hug and leave. I can see now why the admissions counselor suggested that to me. She of course let it be my option.
I wish I would have used more of the time my ex was away getting myself well and detoxed from him. I spent most of that time obsessing over him, his recovery, his counselor, him him him. Blah. If I had it to do over again..I would have emersed myself in reading, meetings, and taking care of ME..bc afterall, he had professionals watching after him!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Blacksburg, VA
Posts: 191
he couldve brought his own bottle to drink during that waiting time. Its typical they need to keep drinking up to theminute they arrive. Its not the centers responsiblility to maintain his condition....its called consequences.
They have procedures to follow to register people. If he wouldve seized, they wouldva helped him,called 911, whatever... but his being umcomfortable during withdrawal didnt kill him, right?
They have procedures to follow to register people. If he wouldve seized, they wouldva helped him,called 911, whatever... but his being umcomfortable during withdrawal didnt kill him, right?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2006
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I kind of disagree...I thought it was really unprofessional and irresponsible to let us sit for that long. It's not exactly a very comforting environment. Saying it's "consequences" is like saying it'd be okay to let a person with lung cancer with difficulty breathing just sit for hours before being admitted.
Also, people in my AH's state are not in their right mind so it's just so irresponsible to let someone that sick and crazy sit in a tiny room for hours.
I am still unclear, despite the man at the clinic telling me that it was necessary procedure, why a 2 hour check in is necessary. We set up everything before hand (referral, insurance check). If he was going in for scheduled surgery he would have been admitted upon arrival.
Also, people in my AH's state are not in their right mind so it's just so irresponsible to let someone that sick and crazy sit in a tiny room for hours.
I am still unclear, despite the man at the clinic telling me that it was necessary procedure, why a 2 hour check in is necessary. We set up everything before hand (referral, insurance check). If he was going in for scheduled surgery he would have been admitted upon arrival.
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Murrieta, Ca
Posts: 2,683
Thanks girls for showing compassion and understanding. It is one hell of an uncomfortable experience for me.
I echo the opinion of those who wrote about follow up. The two times I went to impatient, I din't go to AA or anyhting afterwards. The first time I drank on the way home, the second it took about 6 weeks for mw to take the first fatal drink.
I can't emphasize how important AA (preferably) or some other kind of support group is. Self knowledge is not enough. Will power isn't either.
I finally found AA, and am taking my 90 day chip Monday.
Good Luck and God Bless all of you.
Edit: Yeah, I was smashed when I went in. My BAL was .52.
I echo the opinion of those who wrote about follow up. The two times I went to impatient, I din't go to AA or anyhting afterwards. The first time I drank on the way home, the second it took about 6 weeks for mw to take the first fatal drink.
I can't emphasize how important AA (preferably) or some other kind of support group is. Self knowledge is not enough. Will power isn't either.
I finally found AA, and am taking my 90 day chip Monday.
Good Luck and God Bless all of you.
Edit: Yeah, I was smashed when I went in. My BAL was .52.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: iowa
Posts: 93
I have had the experience of taking AH to detox at hospital 4/9 times. The wait has always been 2-3 hours until he was admitted.
Plus for us the hospitals that would admit him for detox were 1 hour away. The first time I was driving him it was continually 'let's go home', 'let's just go home'. Yet he was the one who wanted to go. He did drink on the way over - at least 2 - he may have thrown one out on the way though. Then on admission we had to do the triage - how serious are you with the temperature check, blood pressure etc. Then wait and talk to someone else about why you need to check in - history. Then they wanted to know all about you personal questions & insurance questions. I was with him in the hospital on a Sunday night from 9 p.m. - midnight when they finally were done and gave him something -and then I had to drive another hour back home.
The second time was a little quicker - it had only been a month since the first one, so it didn't take quite so long.
The 3rd time was court ordered so I wasn't there. (2 months after 1st time and a month since the last time)
Fourth time was at another hospital but the same as the last court committal time. (Within 4 months from his first hospital detox) This hospital was also a hour away. We left at 7:30p.m. got there about 8:30p.m. They finally took his blood about 10p.m. and his level was .192 (3 hours after his last drink) I left about 11p.m. He had a seizure at 6a.m. the next morning.
Fifth time I didn't find out his level - but the admitting Dr. told him it was easier on his body to keep drinking than to keep detoxing/drinking/detoxing/drinking - why was this time going to work when all the others have failed. Tough words but he needed to hear it. At the time I didn't like that Dr. either - but he was right.
That was all the detoxs I was there for, I let his friends or ambulances or court committals do the other times.
I hate to sound depressing - but if the A doesn't see a problem with just one - then he likely isn't done.
My AH thought he could handle just having a couple each day. His mother even thought 1/2 can of beer would be ok for him.
Treatment I think is good - but in my opinion - it's easier to stay away from it in a structured setting, like the inpatient facilities/hospitals. But when you get home there really needs to be someone there (non family member) to help you adjust from treatment to real world. My husband never got that - well he never would follow thru with anything anyway.
Best of luck newenglandgirl.
I always felt better when my AH was in a hospital/treatment center - I knew he was safe - at least for awhile.
I hope God's Will is with you.
Plus for us the hospitals that would admit him for detox were 1 hour away. The first time I was driving him it was continually 'let's go home', 'let's just go home'. Yet he was the one who wanted to go. He did drink on the way over - at least 2 - he may have thrown one out on the way though. Then on admission we had to do the triage - how serious are you with the temperature check, blood pressure etc. Then wait and talk to someone else about why you need to check in - history. Then they wanted to know all about you personal questions & insurance questions. I was with him in the hospital on a Sunday night from 9 p.m. - midnight when they finally were done and gave him something -and then I had to drive another hour back home.
The second time was a little quicker - it had only been a month since the first one, so it didn't take quite so long.
The 3rd time was court ordered so I wasn't there. (2 months after 1st time and a month since the last time)
Fourth time was at another hospital but the same as the last court committal time. (Within 4 months from his first hospital detox) This hospital was also a hour away. We left at 7:30p.m. got there about 8:30p.m. They finally took his blood about 10p.m. and his level was .192 (3 hours after his last drink) I left about 11p.m. He had a seizure at 6a.m. the next morning.
Fifth time I didn't find out his level - but the admitting Dr. told him it was easier on his body to keep drinking than to keep detoxing/drinking/detoxing/drinking - why was this time going to work when all the others have failed. Tough words but he needed to hear it. At the time I didn't like that Dr. either - but he was right.
That was all the detoxs I was there for, I let his friends or ambulances or court committals do the other times.
I hate to sound depressing - but if the A doesn't see a problem with just one - then he likely isn't done.
My AH thought he could handle just having a couple each day. His mother even thought 1/2 can of beer would be ok for him.
Treatment I think is good - but in my opinion - it's easier to stay away from it in a structured setting, like the inpatient facilities/hospitals. But when you get home there really needs to be someone there (non family member) to help you adjust from treatment to real world. My husband never got that - well he never would follow thru with anything anyway.
Best of luck newenglandgirl.
I always felt better when my AH was in a hospital/treatment center - I knew he was safe - at least for awhile.
I hope God's Will is with you.
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Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: HK
Posts: 115
I'm happy to see your post and learn the good news. Recovery is a long long path, but your AH finally made the start. You must have gone through a lot mentally too. I had a crazy day yesterday. My AH finally stopped (again) after four weeks of drinking. He detoxed at home and I was with him. He looked so vulnerable. He kept talking to himself, praying out loud with his hands up in the air (he's not a religious man at all!), and the shakes and shivers of course. I myself was totally confused inside. I felt sorry for his pain, and didn't feel sorry for his pain. I wanted to leave him by himself to take the "consequences", and I wanted to stay with him to support him. I was happy that his stopped drinking, and I wasn't truly happy because the same scene might just repeat again in near future.
Anyway, I don't really know what I'm thinking now, so here i am at SR (AH is lying on the couch still very sick physically but has a clearer mind now) Just really glad to see your post. You've also helped me make more sense about my AH's crazy self-talking yesterday (pretty scary to hear and watch)!
I wish you a very very nice weekend! You really deserve it!
Anyway, I don't really know what I'm thinking now, so here i am at SR (AH is lying on the couch still very sick physically but has a clearer mind now) Just really glad to see your post. You've also helped me make more sense about my AH's crazy self-talking yesterday (pretty scary to hear and watch)!
I wish you a very very nice weekend! You really deserve it!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: By the sea
Posts: 415
Thanks Lill! And to you too. You deserve it too!
Crazy thing is, I've only just begun processing all the mental stuff. It's like their drinking ways keep us in crisis mode all the time and we don't have time to really THINK.
Crazy thing is, I've only just begun processing all the mental stuff. It's like their drinking ways keep us in crisis mode all the time and we don't have time to really THINK.
Acting not reacting
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: My happy place
Posts: 1,788
It's like their drinking ways keep us in crisis mode all the time and we don't have time to really THINK
Letting their stuf be their stuff will get a person out of crisis mode.
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Hanging In There
Posts: 87
Hi Newenglandgirl
I am sorry this was so hard for both of you. Ours was very positive, he went to detox from ER and was admitted within 15 minutes of arrival. They were really quick.
T had these same ideas in his head. He knew he had a problem, but had said several times he just needed help to control how much he drank, he thought just going to detox would be enough and then back to work.
He had an awesome counselor in detox. Talked a long time with T and then called me to find out my side on how much he was drinking, what was going on, information on how I felt. Once I told him my side, he decided he wanted to have another "chat" with T because T didn't give him all that information.
After the 2nd chat, T confessed more and agreed with the counselor that he needed treatment. His detox counselor called me several times to update me, set up the treatment center and helped get disability and insurance papers filed.
I am not sure each detox center works differently, but if you have the opportunity to speak to his counselor I would sure give it a try - I know that his counselor changed his approach and suggestions to T after he had the chat with me.
I am sorry this was so hard for both of you. Ours was very positive, he went to detox from ER and was admitted within 15 minutes of arrival. They were really quick.
Originally Posted by newenglandgirl 
My AH is still thinking that he will be able to drink like a normal person. He admits that he has a problem (no sh*t!) but thinks he is just a regular guy who drank to sleep at night (yeah right).
The detox program that he checked into has councelling and meetings all day long. So I expect that they will attempt to educate him regarding the nature of alcoholism. It will be interesting to see what he has learned (i.e. chosen to pay attention to) when he is released.
His employer gave him 30 days off. But AH wants to be back at work next week. Of course he should go into rehab! Hopefully the staff in the detox will get through his thick skull and get him to see reality.
The detox program that he checked into has councelling and meetings all day long. So I expect that they will attempt to educate him regarding the nature of alcoholism. It will be interesting to see what he has learned (i.e. chosen to pay attention to) when he is released.
His employer gave him 30 days off. But AH wants to be back at work next week. Of course he should go into rehab! Hopefully the staff in the detox will get through his thick skull and get him to see reality.
He had an awesome counselor in detox. Talked a long time with T and then called me to find out my side on how much he was drinking, what was going on, information on how I felt. Once I told him my side, he decided he wanted to have another "chat" with T because T didn't give him all that information.
After the 2nd chat, T confessed more and agreed with the counselor that he needed treatment. His detox counselor called me several times to update me, set up the treatment center and helped get disability and insurance papers filed.
I am not sure each detox center works differently, but if you have the opportunity to speak to his counselor I would sure give it a try - I know that his counselor changed his approach and suggestions to T after he had the chat with me.
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