A BIG Step for Husband

Old 01-18-2007, 10:28 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
dogandbooklover's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: The South
Posts: 75
A BIG Step for Husband

Christopher, my alcoholic husband, has always tried quitting drinking on his own at home. The latest time was over these past holidays. He has finally decided that he needs professional help. He called me today (he's out of town for job training and new job) and told me he will be seeing a doctor first thing in the morning. This is a HUGE step for him and I am quite proud of him. He sounds so determined. He's never sounded like this before. The fact that he called and made arrangements all on his own in a strange city speaks volumes to me. He says he is tired and fed up with not 'being himself'. This is 'not me and I don't like it', his words. He was even telling me that he knows he can't drink anymore. Period. He had always had the notion that he could moderate his alcohol intake and be 'normal'. He now says he knows he can't do that. Such big steps!

The only bad thing is that I won't be there. It's not really an option for me to travel to where he is at the moment. I so want to be there for him.
dogandbooklover is offline  
Old 01-18-2007, 10:36 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Forum Leader
 
Pony's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: trail of discovery
Posts: 2,472
You can still be there for him in support even if it is over the phone. Maybe he needs to do this on his own....this huge step...the first step...you know?

Pray and back him up and praise any small steps towards sobriety you can.....that is being there for him.
Pony is offline  
Old 01-18-2007, 10:50 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Who can I trust?
 
TimTim's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Hillsdale NJ
Posts: 43
Thats awesome. I always love hearing stories like this. I hope one day my pops does this. But I hope all goes well and pray for him.
TimTim is offline  
Old 01-19-2007, 08:54 AM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Member
 
Cynay's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 3,812
That is wonderful to hear, Im so happy for you!!

Maybe you are not suppose to be there hon, Even when a person is married, sometimes there are things they have to do by themselves. He must be feeling pretty proud to be taking the first step and doing that with his free will and no other reason. You can always support him with your love and prayers.
Cynay is offline  
Old 01-19-2007, 09:28 AM
  # 5 (permalink)  
let it grow!
 
parentrecovers's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 15,540
you should be proud of him! i also love these stories, they bring so much hope. i wish him all the peace and happiness that comes with recovery.

as far as "'being there" - you are. your post proves that. he is lucky to have you.

blessings, k
parentrecovers is offline  
Old 01-19-2007, 09:49 AM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Ohio
Posts: 2,579
Great! That sounds hopeful. Good luck and prayers going out to both of you!
Pick-a-name is offline  
Old 01-19-2007, 09:50 AM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Member
 
Zoey's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: over yonder
Posts: 1,548
I think he is wise to do this while alone. Thank Heavens he has the oportunity. I agree with Cynay.

If he starts AA it will give him the freedom to go every night and maybe even 2 meetings plus coffee with other A's after. This gives them much info, and less time to think about a drink.
Guess I would see first how he intends to do it? Just my opinion, but he probably needs to do it his way.

Caring Hugs for you both.
Zoey is offline  
Old 01-19-2007, 10:33 AM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Member
 
Cynay's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 3,812
Ohhhhh and one more thing.

DONT FOCUS ON HIM...... keep the focus on you.

This is still his gig, and I know that is easier said then done cuz I struggle to keep the focus on me.
Cynay is offline  
Old 01-19-2007, 10:48 AM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: belleville NJ
Posts: 2
I am so happy for you!

I dont even know you and I am so happy for you...I hope that all goes well and he keeps up his determination.
pikapink is offline  
Old 01-19-2007, 11:59 AM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Member
 
dayxday's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Hanging In There
Posts: 87
Originally Posted by dogandbooklover View Post
He says he is tired and fed up with not 'being himself'. This is 'not me and I don't like it', his words. He was even telling me that he knows he can't drink anymore. Period. He had always had the notion that he could moderate his alcohol intake and be 'normal'. He now says he knows he can't do that. Such big steps!

The only bad thing is that I won't be there. It's not really an option for me to travel to where he is at the moment. I so want to be there for him.
My AH made the determination to seek help after his 2nd trip in one week to the ER from overdose of RX and .30 alcohol.

He also had tried to quit or cut down many times but always ended right back where he was before or worse.

Due to a court order I was not there when he went to ER. He kept telling the nurse in ER he wanted me there. She told him that I was probably sick and tired of being there and that he needed to look at what he was doing to himself, me and everyone who loves him. She also told him - if your wife was here you will try to make her feel sorry for you and use her to avoid facing the fact that you have a problem. You need to make this decision on your own. God Bless that nurse and doctor for being so bold and honest with him. He agreed with them and voluntarily went from the hospital to detox and then treatment.

A very big step indeed and you should be proud of him. Admitting they are powerless over alcohol is the first step.

It's okay to let him do this on his own and you can be there to support him by phone for now and in person later.

Don't forget to take care of yourself.

I am happy for you.

dayxday
dayxday is offline  
Old 01-19-2007, 12:49 PM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Member
 
lilac's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Happy with me !
Posts: 680
I am sooo very happy for you.........Maybe Cynay is right, you are not supposed to be there right now. You can still pray for him and yourself, talk on the phone, mail..............It will work out.
lilac is offline  
Old 01-19-2007, 01:21 PM
  # 12 (permalink)  
Guest
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
I will have to agree with Cynay and the others, since before anything else he has to quit because he wants to..it's probably quite okay he's doing this on his own. Of course you want to share in his moment, you love him...but I think this might be yes..just one of those things he needs to do for himself. Besides you will have PLENTY of time to support him when he'll really need it...in those moments when the going gets tough afterward.
Nuudawn is offline  
Old 01-20-2007, 12:22 AM
  # 13 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
dogandbooklover's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: The South
Posts: 75
Thanks everyone!

I do think all of you are right about Christopher doing this on his own. I know that I can't help, even though I want to 'fix' everything, but I can be here for him if only on the phone, e-mails, etc. He is on an outpatient basis and has been prescribed Librium. Which, as I understand it, is the standard way to go. He will be seeing the doctor tomorrow, then again on Monday and Tuesday. You know what he told me? He has begun keeping a journal about how he feels and what effects the Librium has on him and basically how he feels now that he has begun this journey [my words, he doesn't use words like 'journey' ;-)]. He even plans on taking it with him to the doctor. Of course, I'm sure he's just making notes on a sheet of printer paper, but the fact that he is doing it at all is amazing! I asked, the doctor didn't mention anything about it. He came up with it all on his own. This is a guy who hasn't written or read anything (not work related) in years. The closest he gets is signing his name to the cards he picks out for me. [Well, he does read the cards because he always picks out the ones with the most meaning. He has let me know he reads tons before picking one because he wants to get the one that expresses his feelings the best. ;-)] Oh, and he loves that little button on the TV remote that tells you what show is on. Know the one I'm talking about? Anyway, that is the extent to his reading and writing.

He's actually coming home next Thursday for 5 days. I'm hoping that this is the beginning of a brand new life for him and us.

Thanks again!
dogandbooklover is offline  
Old 01-20-2007, 03:42 AM
  # 14 (permalink)  
Member
 
Zoey's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: over yonder
Posts: 1,548
When he is home those five days, he may be anxious, irritable etc. Withdrawal from alcohol is a bitch. Most are in a fog and do not know who they are or what they want. Detox doesn't take care of it.

It is my understanding they need protein snacks, cheese and crackers, walnuts and almonds etc. Hopefully he eats breakfast. Just my 2 cents and thoughts.

I just checked Google search for "Diets for alcoholics" Got lots of sites to check.
Caring HUGS to you both.
Zoey is offline  
Old 01-20-2007, 05:41 AM
  # 15 (permalink)  
Member
 
angelonmyshould's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Poplar Grove, IL
Posts: 72
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
angelonmyshould is offline  
Old 01-20-2007, 07:23 AM
  # 16 (permalink)  
Member
 
dayxday's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Hanging In There
Posts: 87
Curous - what is Librium? They gave T. something in detox to help with the withdrawals but they never told me what it was.

My experience - it was much easier talking with T by phone & visiting at the treatment center. Since he has been home, he displays irratibility, anxiety and depression which are at times hard to deal with, I just have to remind myself it's part of the process of recovery.
dayxday is offline  
Old 01-20-2007, 07:34 AM
  # 17 (permalink)  
Member
 
newenglandgirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: By the sea
Posts: 415
I just happen to have the drug info sheet they gave me at my AH's detox clinic.

Librium (Chlordiazepoxide) is given to help reduce physiological symptoms (eg, blood pressure) as well as psychological symptoms (eg, anxiety).
newenglandgirl is offline  
Old 01-20-2007, 08:38 PM
  # 18 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
dogandbooklover's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: The South
Posts: 75
Originally Posted by newenglandgirl View Post
I just happen to have the drug info sheet they gave me at my AH's detox clinic.

Librium (Chlordiazepoxide) is given to help reduce physiological symptoms (eg, blood pressure) as well as psychological symptoms (eg, anxiety).
In the withdrawal of alcohol it's main use is as an anti-anxiety drug. It's given for up to a week, depending on the symptoms, and then it's tapered down to nothing. At least this is the way I understand it was explained to my husband. I looked online and found basically the same information. In my husband's case, a new anti-depressant will be prescribed after the Librium since he also suffers from depression.

I do so hope everything 'takes' this time. It's the first time he has reached out for real help. It's a start in the right direction at least.
dogandbooklover is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:40 PM.