Gabe

I have to give my sister and I a lot of credit. We have tried beyond belief to get over our mother and her addictions. (That's plural because she switched up from alcohol to pills). But when my sister and I get on the phone, we still seem to talk about the same old stuff. I don't think that either of us have ever gotten over our "absentee mother". And I think that we are both still pissed off beyond belief that Alzheimer's disease took our loving and nurturing Father eighteen months ago and left us with the parent that neither of us have ever known how to deal with. And let me just take a moment to say how much I hate the "A" diseases. That would be Alcoholism and Alzheimer's. Those two have robbed me of both of my parents.
Sorry, this was a bitter and venting kind of post. I need to go pray for serenity, courage and wisdom in big, doable doses.
Peace,
Gabe

Ann

****{Gabe}}}

I have walked in your shoes - both of them.

Addiction has my son in it's grip and my mother suffered from Alzheimer's for about 5 years from 85 until she died at 90(luckily she was not too bad, too sick to wander and not delusional, but couldn't speak and couldn't remember much). She always knew me though, and in many ways we shared special time where I could repay her all the kindness she showed me in my life.

Actually, when I first began meetings and my recovery was just before she died and between caregiving for her and enabling caregiveing for my son I was stretched to the breaking point.

I can't offer any advice that you don't already know, but I can offer huge hugs and lots of prayers.

Just know that I love you and care.

Gabe

And sorry to hear that you had to endure Alzheimer's with your Mom.
Hugs and prayers right back atchya.
Peace,
Gabe

Live

HUGS!!!!

Your father's death was recent, be gentle with you, okay?

JT

I was estranged from my mother for over 20 years because of my stepfather...he didn't like me and mom wouldn't (couldn't) stand up to him. He died a few years ago and Mom and I are right back where we were. Now if she had died before him I am not sure I would have ever gotten over it. In my case things happened in the order I wanted them to.

I understand the anger and it is nice to have your sister to share all of this with.


Hugs,
JT

lyn_blossom78

Dysfunctional sisters really hits home for me! My (older and only) sister and I are very close. However, because of our past, when we get together, whether in person or on the phone, you can really see our dysfunctions. Our emotions are often times worn on our sleeves, and anger pops up very quickly, as do tears. She called me the other day, and since I haven't called her in awhile, the first thing she asked was "are you mad at me!" That was like old times! That's almost always what she use to ask when she called, because of her insecurity. Now I'm just at insecure, but I think I realized that, and didn't ask that, because I knew it was showing my insecurity! Of course, I wasn't mad at her--just busy. She gets upset over every little thing, and really isn't well, physically, due to diabetis.

Our dear mother died when I was 11 and my sister was 13 of Multiple Sclerosis, leaving us with an alcoholic father. So, I can understand your "P-Oed-ness" about losing your father over your mother. We all go through some anger during our mourning process. Sometimes, I wonder if it ever really ends--the mourning. I still mourn my mother during certain times in my life. You are probably also going through mourning for your mother. Mourning over the kind of mother you could have had--yearning, perhaps for the mother she could have been.

My prayers are with you!

Hugs,
Lyn

liddy

Hi Gabe
All i can add is thank God for our sisters !
Like lyn's our mom died from lateral sclorosis when i was 12 and my sister
15, it took along time for us to get close but we are today.
Our father was an alcoholic but functional and he did the best he knew how. Today at 87 he lives with me and my husband, its not easy but he took care of me and now its my turn.
My sister is another alcoholic in my life, she drinks at night so we talk on saturday mornings. She is what she is, and I love her with all my heart. Who can we share with more than the sister that was there , and knows ?
Your post has given me an opportunity to be grateful for the sister I have. Thanks Gabe !

love
liddy