Update on Me
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Honolulu
Posts: 60
Update on Me
Hi.
Its been a few days since I posted anything because I have been on the drama rollercoaster with my ABF.
He took it on himself to move out. Of course he blamed me for it and I have been telling him to get out after this window debacle.
When I saw his things packed up I confronted him and asked him if he was leaving and he denied it and lied of course.
I suppose I have some SERIOUS abandonment issues. He left on Sunday but as time passes it gets easier and easier as things calm down. I have so much crap on my plate
I've stopped calling him because of his stupid head games. He waits until I'm visiby upset THEN picks up the phone. Like I said emotional manipulation. That's like reinforcement for him that I'm still hung up on him. ENOUGH!!
Its really hard to give up on something when you know what could be. Fighting addiction IN SOMEONE ELSE is nearly impossible because ITS NOT YOU. ITS THEM AND YOU CAN'T CHANGE THEM.
In order to prevent yourself from getting sucked in and going insane all you can do is detach and depend only on yourself cause that's all you've got cause that's all you've got when you deal with an alcoholic
Susan
Its been a few days since I posted anything because I have been on the drama rollercoaster with my ABF.
He took it on himself to move out. Of course he blamed me for it and I have been telling him to get out after this window debacle.
When I saw his things packed up I confronted him and asked him if he was leaving and he denied it and lied of course.
I suppose I have some SERIOUS abandonment issues. He left on Sunday but as time passes it gets easier and easier as things calm down. I have so much crap on my plate
I've stopped calling him because of his stupid head games. He waits until I'm visiby upset THEN picks up the phone. Like I said emotional manipulation. That's like reinforcement for him that I'm still hung up on him. ENOUGH!!
Its really hard to give up on something when you know what could be. Fighting addiction IN SOMEONE ELSE is nearly impossible because ITS NOT YOU. ITS THEM AND YOU CAN'T CHANGE THEM.
In order to prevent yourself from getting sucked in and going insane all you can do is detach and depend only on yourself cause that's all you've got cause that's all you've got when you deal with an alcoholic
Susan
Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 3,812
I know it does not feel like it now but .... Time heals all wounds. I struggle keeping the focus on me and it is really easy for me to fall back into the codie behavior.....
Re-arrange the fruniture, change thing to make it yours.... and get busy living your life. Most of the time when a relationship ends I have to go cold turkey.... no contact.
Take care of you
Re-arrange the fruniture, change thing to make it yours.... and get busy living your life. Most of the time when a relationship ends I have to go cold turkey.... no contact.
Take care of you
up and out
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 185
Someone in this forum once suggested to stop sticking your hand into the fire. When I inappropriately romanticize the drama and actually begin to miss him, I remember that and quietly say it to myself. It works every time. Perhaps its just where I am but i'd like to think of it as my reset button.....you know that tiny little hole on the back of many devices. My reset button....I don't stick my hand in the fire cause I don't want to get burned.
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