Back...again
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 193
Back...again
It's been a long time since I've posted here... been flying solo - trying to deal with AH with no support. I stopped coming here because I was ashamed - that I didn't/don't have the strength or ability to remove myself from this vicious circle of abuse. I mean how many times can someone post about all the crappy things they allow themselves to be put through?!
But I feel desperate to relate to someone, anyone, that understands.
AH has, once again, admitted that his drinking is toxic to us - so he quit on 1/1... drank 1/4 said he was so disappointed in himself, quit 1/5-1/6, drank 1/7 "stupid of me" was the excuse, drank last night... but this time it was deliberate - he went to play poker, didn't need to - he knew it would put him in a situation that he was in no way ready to deal with... didn't come home until 9am... he's sleeping it off right now.
The last thing I want is an 'altercation' but I'm so disappointed, hurt & angry... I really thought he 'got it' this time... I need some support & advice. (Yes, I'm looking at the Alanon schedule near me as soon as I get off of here) I don't want to guilt him right back into the bottle, but he needs to know that the choices he made last night are unacceptable.
But I feel desperate to relate to someone, anyone, that understands.
AH has, once again, admitted that his drinking is toxic to us - so he quit on 1/1... drank 1/4 said he was so disappointed in himself, quit 1/5-1/6, drank 1/7 "stupid of me" was the excuse, drank last night... but this time it was deliberate - he went to play poker, didn't need to - he knew it would put him in a situation that he was in no way ready to deal with... didn't come home until 9am... he's sleeping it off right now.
The last thing I want is an 'altercation' but I'm so disappointed, hurt & angry... I really thought he 'got it' this time... I need some support & advice. (Yes, I'm looking at the Alanon schedule near me as soon as I get off of here) I don't want to guilt him right back into the bottle, but he needs to know that the choices he made last night are unacceptable.
Becoming a Butterfly
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 904
Welcome back, hon. Well, it's not really unacceptable because you keep "letting" him. You know your choices. 1) accept him as he is and assume nothing will change and know they could get worse 2) stay and detach from his drinking 3) go make your own life without his antics.
I think all of us in your shoes go for detachment. I don't think you're bad or weak. I think you're a women who isn't sure and that's just fine ... I was there for a long time too, a few years.
I think all of us in your shoes go for detachment. I don't think you're bad or weak. I think you're a women who isn't sure and that's just fine ... I was there for a long time too, a few years.
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