Originally Posted by jimhere

About four years ago, an AA friend of mine was having a tough time getting sober. She wanted to get sober badly, but was married to an active alcoholic who did not want to get sober. As long as she was in that marriage, her sobriety wasn't going to happen.

When she made a decision to walk away from the marriage, she got sober. It was tough for her, I know because she would call me and talk about it. When she was about six months sober, she called me in tears. She had just come from an AA meeting. In that meeting she mentioned how much she missed her husband and how lonely she was. Some fool had told how sick she was. I told her the same thing I told you-that it isn't sick to miss someone you love. In fact I would think something was wrong with you if you didn't miss him.

The sick part is hanging on to what won't work, placing your happiness in the hands of another, and depending on people as the source of your happiness. It is also sick to expect another to change so that you will feel better.

I saw my friend last month. She celebrated four years of sobriety. She is single and she looked happy. And she is free. You can be free too, but it is your responsibility.
Jim

Originally Posted by Mr. Christian

- Hello I’ve read your posts here and did make a few comments but I think I’ll be more to the point right now.

Like you I have an alcoholic Mom and also a Grandmother who is one. I say this at the beginning here because it is really the reason “WE” thought it was ok to go with or stay with an alcoholic in our lives.
You see I was through the therapy and counseling and all the other psycho babble sessions to find out more of why I did stay with the so-called bad relationships.



I did not want the Alanon thing at 1st myself, and I hatted going but what got me though it was I got a sponsor right off the bat. He kept me going and became a good friend.


We as people tend to draw close to what we a raised with or used to. Trough the program I learned a lot about myself from people just like me. It was pretty simple and very easy once that light came on.
I still fall back into old actions and behaviors but I’m much better that I do not have a drunk to live with.
I also can not blame anything now on a drunk. The world is mine to deal with and everything I do now is about me.