Tenderheart

My husband and I have "detached" (new concept for me) from our son for three months now - got a phone block on his number - he's not ready for help - sits up in his apartment day after day drinking. I have lost a "joy" that I had before - don't find excitement in much of anything - listless - don't want to do much more than go to work and go home. There is an inner sadness that I've never experienced before - I'm a Christian and my strength has always been in the Lord - this is new for me. I've never experienced what I would call major depression before. Anyone out there know what I'm talking about -- advice please!

lilac

There will be others along later with much more insight..........but I wanted to let you know that you are not alone.......Let go, and let God !!!!
Keep your faith........I have found that some depression meds have helped me. I don't know if you take any or not? At first I felt like I was giving up....

Prayer !!!!!!(((HUGS)))

deax

NOTHING. (hugs)
You're doing something that's wise but incredibly difficult and painful. I've been through detaching from a boyfriend- I can't even imagine what it must be like to have to make these choices with my own child.

Have you tried therapy and/or Al Anon? Both might be helpful. Hard as it is, though, you have to force yourself to take that first step. Therapy has been very helpful for me as has Al Anon and here in gaining perspective. Start small-- decide on one productive or nice thing you can do for yourself each day, and then make yourself get out there and do it. Sometimes we need to push ourselves to do what's uncomfortable when we know it's best for us.

And your faith in God is always there too. Nothing can take that away, I get a lot of strength from my faith and attending Mass and meditating myself. Let your Faith carry you through what you're doing- which is to Let Go and Let God. Use your faith, put your trust where it should be, and ask for guidance, assistance and knowledge of God's will; but don't forget to take that first step: remember, God helps those who help themselves. Take comfort in that what you're doing with your son is out of genuine love.

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time and I will keep you and your son in my prayers. Stick around here and keep reading and posting and asking questions, no matter how often. It really helps.

Cynay

Nothing is wrong with you....

I would say you could be in mourning. The son you know is not there, he is gone and what makes it harder is because he is breathing there is no closure. What you have done shows so much love and courage... if anything you are a beautiful example of a parents love.

I dont know why things like this happen, but then I dont have a copy of the bigger plan either... Please keep your faith, as long as there is life there is hope. That does not mean you have to accept unacceptable behavior... it only mean ... be comforted, your not alone, there is help and hope.

denny57

I second the Al-Anon idea. Here in L.A. I attend one meeting that is parent-focused (though I have no children) and people come from very far away to attend it because of that focus. Richmond is big, so perhaps they have something similar. You can call the central office there.

Good luck and keep posting.