Advice needed on first few days/weeks of AW's return from rehab
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Atlanta suburbs
Posts: 33
Advice needed on first few days/weeks of AW's return from rehab
Hi everyone. New poster here. Have read many of the posts and find them very helpful.
My A wife voluntarily entered rehab 3 weeks ago and will be returning one week from today. So that's the good news, and I realize that that was a major, critical step for her and our family. I also realize that the rehab program is just the first step in a long process, though, and a long journey lies ahead for her and for our family (we have a teenage son).
I am interested in any advice and perspectives on what to expect when she returns and for the first few days/weeks after her return. If there was another thread on this please point me there.
In particular I am interested in what I and my son should and shouldn't do during the initial period after she comes home. For example, should I try to engage her in conversation about what she went through in rehab, even if she seems unwilling to talk about it? Or just leave it be until she brings it up?
Should I try and make things seem as normal as possible when she returns or is it better to focus on how we can change things for the better, this is a new beginning, etc ?
I know that the program she is in is based on AA principles so I am sure they are going to strongly push her to do AA meetings when she returns, but what if she doesn't ? Should I bring this up?
I want to be supportive but having never been through this before, I would appreciate advice from others who have been through the same thing.
Thanks!
Larry
My A wife voluntarily entered rehab 3 weeks ago and will be returning one week from today. So that's the good news, and I realize that that was a major, critical step for her and our family. I also realize that the rehab program is just the first step in a long process, though, and a long journey lies ahead for her and for our family (we have a teenage son).
I am interested in any advice and perspectives on what to expect when she returns and for the first few days/weeks after her return. If there was another thread on this please point me there.
In particular I am interested in what I and my son should and shouldn't do during the initial period after she comes home. For example, should I try to engage her in conversation about what she went through in rehab, even if she seems unwilling to talk about it? Or just leave it be until she brings it up?
Should I try and make things seem as normal as possible when she returns or is it better to focus on how we can change things for the better, this is a new beginning, etc ?
I know that the program she is in is based on AA principles so I am sure they are going to strongly push her to do AA meetings when she returns, but what if she doesn't ? Should I bring this up?
I want to be supportive but having never been through this before, I would appreciate advice from others who have been through the same thing.
Thanks!
Larry
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: FL
Posts: 14,246
Hi Larry,
You have asked alot of very good questions and I believe that you will find the answers you need, but first learning about the disease and how YOU need to cope with it is very important.
Once I learned what I needed to do for myself alot of things began to fall into place.
There will be many new things to face in your family once your wife returns home and you start out again.
Alanon and Alateen will help you and your son to learn, going to open AA meetings is very helpful too. There will be no definate answers to your questions but once you begin to learn,you will know how to navigate through each new situation. I would not have survived without going to ALOT of meetings. In the beginning I went to 4-5 per week: Alanon, and open AA and NA meetings helped me more than I can express.
Reading about the disease is another must for me. You can find references and more information right here. At the top of the page on each forum at SR, we have what we call 'stickys' for you to read. Reading as many threads and posts as you can is good too.
I'm glad your wife is getting the help she needs, remember that it's a family disease. You are very considerate and thoughtful to come here and ask for help...for you to help her. The anon forums and anon meetings are for YOU and for your son too.
I hope you will make yourself at home here and come by again soon.
You have asked alot of very good questions and I believe that you will find the answers you need, but first learning about the disease and how YOU need to cope with it is very important.
Once I learned what I needed to do for myself alot of things began to fall into place.
There will be many new things to face in your family once your wife returns home and you start out again.
Alanon and Alateen will help you and your son to learn, going to open AA meetings is very helpful too. There will be no definate answers to your questions but once you begin to learn,you will know how to navigate through each new situation. I would not have survived without going to ALOT of meetings. In the beginning I went to 4-5 per week: Alanon, and open AA and NA meetings helped me more than I can express.
Reading about the disease is another must for me. You can find references and more information right here. At the top of the page on each forum at SR, we have what we call 'stickys' for you to read. Reading as many threads and posts as you can is good too.
I'm glad your wife is getting the help she needs, remember that it's a family disease. You are very considerate and thoughtful to come here and ask for help...for you to help her. The anon forums and anon meetings are for YOU and for your son too.
I hope you will make yourself at home here and come by again soon.
Member
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Southern Wisconsin
Posts: 378
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ome+from+rehab
I'm not sure how to post another thead so I hope the above link works. If not you can do an advanced search (see the blue bar above) using the words "home from rehab" or something similar.
I'm not sure how to post another thead so I hope the above link works. If not you can do an advanced search (see the blue bar above) using the words "home from rehab" or something similar.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 5,075
Welcome to SR LarryATL, glad you're here
I do not have experience with what you're going through, but I do attend Al-Anon, and I know there are meetings in my area devoted specifically to this topic. There is a book called Living with Sobriety.
Good luck to you and your family. Keep coming back and let us know how you're doing.
I do not have experience with what you're going through, but I do attend Al-Anon, and I know there are meetings in my area devoted specifically to this topic. There is a book called Living with Sobriety.
Good luck to you and your family. Keep coming back and let us know how you're doing.
Wipe your paws elsewhere!
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 3,672
I think the best way to help her through this difficult transition is to let her know you love her and then just do what comes naturally. If she wants to talk about her experience in rehab, listen. If she doesn't, that's OK, too. And of course, Alanon would be a great source of help and support to you during this time and Alateen for your son, too.
Sending healing prayers for your entire family. Welcome to the forum.
Sending healing prayers for your entire family. Welcome to the forum.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Green,green grass of home
Posts: 600
The very best help i believe that another can do,is go for recovery themselves too.
Al-anon suggests hands off another recovery.And this is what i have done,and still do..If he wanted to talk about his experience in rehab,i listened,and made no comments.If he didnt go to his meetings,i was busy going to mine,.No words on what he was doing or not doing.
Alcoholism is often called the "family" disease."At some point all have played their own part into the stuff.My stuff/their,stuff,sort of thing.So i take care of my stuff,my part and make changes,in my life.Using the tools of al-anon.Recovery for all,would be super great for all,my personal opinion,of course...smile.
Wishing your family all the best,and sending prayers.God Bless.
Al-anon suggests hands off another recovery.And this is what i have done,and still do..If he wanted to talk about his experience in rehab,i listened,and made no comments.If he didnt go to his meetings,i was busy going to mine,.No words on what he was doing or not doing.
Alcoholism is often called the "family" disease."At some point all have played their own part into the stuff.My stuff/their,stuff,sort of thing.So i take care of my stuff,my part and make changes,in my life.Using the tools of al-anon.Recovery for all,would be super great for all,my personal opinion,of course...smile.
Wishing your family all the best,and sending prayers.God Bless.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
