Situations with Friends
 

I have been sober 26 days. I have been calling my sponsor everyday! and working the steps with her. I have been hitting my knees and thanking God for my sobriety. I am truly doing well.

My issue is going out and having dinner with friends. I get uncomfortable when people who would normally order wine with dinner don't because I'm there.

It embarrasses me to order my fabulous juice concoction and have everyone else say "I'll have what she's having" when they ALL normally drink wine.

I am NOT going to drink just because people at the table drink wine. It doesn't work that way with me.

I know my friends love me but I wish they would just be normal. Am I crazy? THANKS for any comments.

Hello Stylist,

I have a daughter 90 days sober. My husband and I both drink some wine and an occasional beer, but we don't drink around her, as a way to show support. It's not a big deal for us, really. Hope this helps - and congrats on 26 days! K

Maybe you could confront them.

I think that just as it's your choice not to drink, it's their choice whether they feel comfortable drinking while around you. :) I'm sure you ALL must have bigger concerns to deal with than this. :) Be happy that you are around to go to dinner with your friends. Congratulations and good luck on your sobriety!!

Good answers above............also,for a non-alcoholic, they really can take it or leave it. Alcohol is just not a big deal. Maybe they went along with it in the past because you were DRINKING. Maybe they are re-thinking their lifestyle,maybe.... Have you mentioned anything to them about this? When my sister got sober we had no idea how/what/if we were "to do". This is all uncharted water for all of you so the more open you can be, the better. They are probably trying to support and also take their lead from you.

p.s. Congratulations on your sobriety and the work on your recovery! :)

Congrads on your 26 days.... sounds like you are working a good program.

Sometimes I will choose not to drink around friends that are in AA simply out of respect. I have been know to take this to an extreem as well but give them time hon. It takes awhile to get use to it all.... for us too.

Stylist, if you don't already have the book "Living Sober" I highly recommend it for any alcoholic in recovery as it gives some great suggestions for situations just like yours.

When I'm out with normal drinkers I prefer a sparkling water with lime, and most of the time it's served in a cocktail glass. If my companions decide not to drink that's their decision, not mine. Be grateful for the love and support of your friends. Trust me, it's nice when people do that just to make you feel comfortable.

Thanks everyone for your responses. I am going to get that book "Living Sober".

They may be doing it out of respect for you, and they may not have a clue what to do for you......Sounds like , however, they are some great friends.

I wouldn't assume anyting. they may be making decisions about their own alcohol consumption. They can drink if they want. Maybe they don't want to. Maybe it never occurred to them ot to drink and thy don't miss it. I'd just appreciate a fun evening without alcohol. Don't ever be embarrassed for not drinking.

Stylist, I've got to congratulate you!

As a casual drinker myself I can take or leave alcohol. I'd be delighted and much more comfortable myself to leave it in the presence of a dear friend in recovery. What you mention that you drink now sounds tempting anyway. You should post the recipe! :)