Another Friggin Phone Call
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: southern indiana
Posts: 2,145
Another Friggin Phone Call
he just called again. unbelievable. he's sorry...he's reaping what he has sown....world is caving in on him...just wanted me to know how much he loves me....i have been classy woman through it all....i didn't deserve all the crap he did...blah blah blah
so i showed him how classy i was. i came up with swear words i never knew existed. i know that reaction does not speak recovery, but, hey, i'm still sick, right???
i'll blame it on my disease, just like he does.
so he says....well, i see this conversation is going south....
YA THINK, IDIOT??????
oh, scuse, me.....yer sick. i'm supposed to have empathy.
well, not today, mr. big shot.....i've had enough of your bullshirt!!!!!!!
get gone, get well, and still stay gone, as far as i 'm concerned.
alcoholism is no excuse to accept deplorable behaviors.
jeri
so i showed him how classy i was. i came up with swear words i never knew existed. i know that reaction does not speak recovery, but, hey, i'm still sick, right???
i'll blame it on my disease, just like he does.
so he says....well, i see this conversation is going south....
YA THINK, IDIOT??????
oh, scuse, me.....yer sick. i'm supposed to have empathy.
well, not today, mr. big shot.....i've had enough of your bullshirt!!!!!!!
get gone, get well, and still stay gone, as far as i 'm concerned.
alcoholism is no excuse to accept deplorable behaviors.
jeri
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Keepin' my side of the litterbox clean
Posts: 2,136
Does he ever pull this stunt when you're home? If so, could you get your home number changed? I've never had a problem getting caller i.d., call block, call waiting, etc. from my phone carrier; however, that is for my home number. My previous job had caller i.d. on all business lines. I'm sorry you can't block him out!!!
Can you let as many calls as possible go into your voicemail? Perhaps then he'll get the message to shut up and leave you alone. Hey, we all get to the end of our rope when they start pulling this stuff. I just put up with a long weekend of having AH home. I was cool throughout the entire ordeal until around 8 pm Monday night when I'd finally had enough of his moronic drunken behavior. I didn't yell at him, but I gave him THE LOOK and that was enough to send him sculking to his room for the rest of the night.
When your AH starts on these looney phone calls, can you just hang up on him?
Can you let as many calls as possible go into your voicemail? Perhaps then he'll get the message to shut up and leave you alone. Hey, we all get to the end of our rope when they start pulling this stuff. I just put up with a long weekend of having AH home. I was cool throughout the entire ordeal until around 8 pm Monday night when I'd finally had enough of his moronic drunken behavior. I didn't yell at him, but I gave him THE LOOK and that was enough to send him sculking to his room for the rest of the night.
When your AH starts on these looney phone calls, can you just hang up on him?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Lake Luzerne
Posts: 1,786
Oh let him call. At this point with each call he just disgusts you further so in a way he really helping you to be glad he's gone. You will also have a more satisfying response with practice. I don't think people who are composed all the time are very interesting. You were entitled to an outburst, it isn't your long term plan. I see great recovery in your post. Remember the last time he showed up, remember that twinge, he doesn't have that effect on you now. Do you think the timing of his call was a coincidence? I don't. He was hoping that you sat under your Christmas tree in a heap sobbing for him yesterday. If you want to measure your recovery, just imagine how that call would have effected you a month ago.
Royalty
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Ohio
Posts: 366
Call Blocking
Can you use call blocking? I don't think that you have to have caller ID for that....or maybe you do. dunno.
What about the restraining order that you were thinking about? That can include no telephone calls.
What about the restraining order that you were thinking about? That can include no telephone calls.
and let you know that I do understand.Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: southern indiana
Posts: 2,145
ohhhh i said horrid things....half-way house reject, you're an insult to alcoholism, you would make the worst alcoholic on earth look like a rocket scientist, you have become nothing short of a prostitute, good....i'm glad your hurting....maybe you will know how all the people that have ever loved you have felt, i hope you see all those faces everytime you close your eyes, you will forever be doomed until you make it right with just one of them.....on and on and on....sprinkled with strategically placed curses.
it felt real good then, but now, i'm kinda ashamed of myself.
oh, he told me had been sober since he was arrested here....and i told him.... do you think i give a good gd???? slippin ain't ya???? who cares???? nobody cares, tommy, nobody cares. sleep on that one, bucko. NOT ONE PERSON ON THE FACE OF THIS EARTH CARES...THEY ARE ALL SICK TO DEATH OF YOU.
HOW DOES IT FEEL TO KNOW NOT ONE PERSON GIVES A RATS A$$ IF YOU LIVE OR DIE???? JUST AS LONG AS YOU ARE OUTTA THEIR HAIR. GOD, IT MUST SUCK TO BE YOU.
you guys, i pulled both barrells out and fired non-stop. i know better than this. and now i feel rotten for acting like such an a$$.
it felt real good then, but now, i'm kinda ashamed of myself.
oh, he told me had been sober since he was arrested here....and i told him.... do you think i give a good gd???? slippin ain't ya???? who cares???? nobody cares, tommy, nobody cares. sleep on that one, bucko. NOT ONE PERSON ON THE FACE OF THIS EARTH CARES...THEY ARE ALL SICK TO DEATH OF YOU.
HOW DOES IT FEEL TO KNOW NOT ONE PERSON GIVES A RATS A$$ IF YOU LIVE OR DIE???? JUST AS LONG AS YOU ARE OUTTA THEIR HAIR. GOD, IT MUST SUCK TO BE YOU.
you guys, i pulled both barrells out and fired non-stop. i know better than this. and now i feel rotten for acting like such an a$$.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: southern indiana
Posts: 2,145
it was worse than just being human, cynay...it was inhumane. and i am ashamed. so ashamed.
so i've been thinking.....if acting so horrible for me can make me feel this bad, the alcoholic must have a terrible time trying to face his own actions. this was one episode for me....but one of many for the alcoholic who uses their words their like a sword towards people they love. imagine stacking these incidents up, one hundred fold to many, many people.
how difficult to try to face the people they have raged against and try to make it right again.
so i've been thinking.....if acting so horrible for me can make me feel this bad, the alcoholic must have a terrible time trying to face his own actions. this was one episode for me....but one of many for the alcoholic who uses their words their like a sword towards people they love. imagine stacking these incidents up, one hundred fold to many, many people.
how difficult to try to face the people they have raged against and try to make it right again.
I'm no angel!
Join Date: May 2005
Location: tampa, fl
Posts: 6,728
When you hear his voice, hang up...you are in control, if you want to be.
For some reason you want to get in the ring with him, what does that accomplish...I can't think of a thing. All you did is waste your breath and time.
It is your choice, all your anger is doing is hurting you, he could care less.
Dolly
For some reason you want to get in the ring with him, what does that accomplish...I can't think of a thing. All you did is waste your breath and time.
It is your choice, all your anger is doing is hurting you, he could care less.
Dolly
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Montvale, VA
Posts: 35
I haven't been here long enough to have much of an opinion...
Honestly, I see your point as far as your own recovery goes and 'losing it' as it were. I have a nasty temper and say horrid things when I am furious. In this case, though, maybe it was time. Maybe the venting got some of the poison out of your system so that you can continue to move on with your life. Sure, the words were cruel, but were they false? Yes, they were shouted and interspersed with curses, but does that make them any less real? How effective is it for you to beat yourself up over it? Just some cents from my corner of the world.
Roni
Roni
Hope3
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Upstate, NY
Posts: 2,155
Dear embraced, I'm Hope3 and I am a recovering A--W---- alcoholic, and you are 100% correct. This really hit home for me and I quote you.
Quote embraced: "so i've been thinking.....if acting so horrible for me can make me feel this bad, the alcoholic must have a terrible time trying to face his own actions. this was one episode for me....but one of many for the alcoholic who uses their words their like a sword towards people they love. imagine stacking these incidents up, one hundred fold to many, many people.:
My significant other of 17 years is a very non selfish, warm caring person who had enough, and thank god so did I. But I got to tell you she really let me have it one time and said somethings that I knew were true; but what hurt me the most was that I was responsible for those feelings she was having and causing her to think in ways about me that no healthy relationship can survive.
I also know that when I was dishing out the words like cow manure, I knew it was S***.
Bless you embraced, I wish you the very best, Hope3.
Quote embraced: "so i've been thinking.....if acting so horrible for me can make me feel this bad, the alcoholic must have a terrible time trying to face his own actions. this was one episode for me....but one of many for the alcoholic who uses their words their like a sword towards people they love. imagine stacking these incidents up, one hundred fold to many, many people.:
My significant other of 17 years is a very non selfish, warm caring person who had enough, and thank god so did I. But I got to tell you she really let me have it one time and said somethings that I knew were true; but what hurt me the most was that I was responsible for those feelings she was having and causing her to think in ways about me that no healthy relationship can survive.
I also know that when I was dishing out the words like cow manure, I knew it was S***.
Bless you embraced, I wish you the very best, Hope3.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: southern indiana
Posts: 2,145
he was sober....and yeah, i guess i would like to step into the ring with him.
i'm so sick of his behaviors being blamed on alcoholism....like that's an excuse to hurt so many people. for years, i have tiptoed around his disease, trying to respect the disease, trying to understand.
how do you understand all the stuff they do???? are we really supposed to accept that they act that way because they are alcoholics??? i'm so tired of always trying to be considerate of the damned disease.
what about all his terrorism??? what about all the lies, the stealing, the children he has just walked away from??? what about all the hearts he has trampled on???? what about all his abuse????
yeah, i'd love to step into the ring with him and put a big ole can of whoop a$$ on him.....it wouldn't change a damned thing, i know.....except it would finally be an eye for an eye.
they have no right. NO RIGHT. no right at all to treat another living human being the way they do. sick or not, they have no right.
i'm so sick of his behaviors being blamed on alcoholism....like that's an excuse to hurt so many people. for years, i have tiptoed around his disease, trying to respect the disease, trying to understand.
how do you understand all the stuff they do???? are we really supposed to accept that they act that way because they are alcoholics??? i'm so tired of always trying to be considerate of the damned disease.
what about all his terrorism??? what about all the lies, the stealing, the children he has just walked away from??? what about all the hearts he has trampled on???? what about all his abuse????
yeah, i'd love to step into the ring with him and put a big ole can of whoop a$$ on him.....it wouldn't change a damned thing, i know.....except it would finally be an eye for an eye.
they have no right. NO RIGHT. no right at all to treat another living human being the way they do. sick or not, they have no right.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Texas
Posts: 782
Originally Posted by Jeri
are we really supposed to accept that they act that way because they are alcoholics??? i'm so tired of always trying to be considerate of the damned disease.
(((J)))
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Murrieta, Ca
Posts: 2,683
Embraced, it's not all fun and games on the addicts part. As a matter of fact, it's a living hell that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. I prayed nightly for God to take my life.
Still, that doesn't make it "right" or "OK". No one, the addict or their friends/family, should have to experience what we have experienced.
I guess some good comes out of it eventually. We 12 steppers go out and help others by carrying the message to those who still suffer.
Others don't make it. See the thread "My life with an addict is over.... "
Still, that doesn't make it "right" or "OK". No one, the addict or their friends/family, should have to experience what we have experienced.
I guess some good comes out of it eventually. We 12 steppers go out and help others by carrying the message to those who still suffer.
Others don't make it. See the thread "My life with an addict is over.... "
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