sisterray

I just got the mail, letter from him in jail. He is sorry for everything, he accepts responsibility for his actions, has a plan for how he will change, meetings, counseling. Started AA and anger management in jail. He loves us all, we are very important. Huh! Not for real, right?

deax

Only he can say what's for real. So far all YOU have are words; you can make a call on the sincerity question the day his actions start matching them-- or not.

sisterray

I think I will write back saying pretty much just that. Tell him I appreciate his intentions, we'll see what happens.

lilac

Just see what happens, don't try to think too hard into the "what ifs".
Time will tell.

dollydo

Jail/Prison brings out some real committments of change...the problem is, they are just words.

Let's see some action, now, that's where it all falls apart....

I agree, time will tell.

Dolly

sisterray

I know. He called today, and was still trying to control stuff from jail. I told him the kids screwed up the computer and that I cant fix it, and I could hear his overreacting coming out again. (When hes not drinking he cant handle even the smallest stress without freaking) Usually I would be trying to calm him and tell him I would make it all better. But I just didn't really care today. I just told him that this was a good thing to practice his new coping skills. (If he has any?) Then the rest of the conversation was fine. I hope I can stay this ok once he comes back. Lori

sisterray

Oh, and in his letter he said about a week before he gets out, he wants me to go on the job center site and make a list of potential jobs for him so he can start looking when he gets out. Nope. I think he can do that himself. He also told me he wants to change and nothing happens overnight, so if he gets off course, I will need to help him get back on track. Whatever that means. He isnt going to get to put this on me. He gets one month to get a job and control his mouth, or the salvation army will be his good friend. He also said he was thinking of going to a halfway house for a few months. Nope again. If he needs a babysitter to live, then so be it. But if I am going to be responsible for the kids, the bills, and the housework, then he will not be able to just come and go here as he pleases. We've played that game before. He thinks he can hang out here, eat, watch tv, and if something bugs him, he can leave. Wrong. I don't get to leave if I get stressed, I have to deal with it like a grownup. So either he is a grownup and shares that with me, or he stays away at the babysitters. Just a rant. Lori

mazey

I often felt like mine's "mother"! Put myself right in that position.
Are there men who will actually do for us? hm!mmm, nice to think about. Need to get rid of some more of my codie thoughts.

sisterray

I think I would fall over in shock if he ever did something completely by himself, much less for me. We must all clap for him if he even so much as washes the dishes (not the pots and pans or the counters). But hes cute and funny and my best friend. So now he needs to learn to be a grownup. It will be hard for his twelve year old emotional aged self to do, but I wish him luck. Lori