CatsTail

I found out from a friend of mine that now people get background checks on peopl ethey meet. Sounds like a plan to me but also sad that we have to do that.

Anyone have experience with this?

Cat

deax

I was on the internet seeing if there was any free way I could do a background and criminal record check on my ex while we were dating. He told me all the things he was arrested for but I guess I never really trusted him.

It is sad world when people feel the need to do these things but I think it's probably a foreign concept to most people, socially. People who haven't been burned or dealt much with addicts and liars. I can just hear some of my friends saying- why would I even choose to associate with someone I'd need to do a background check on?? Checking the background of someone you're considering doing business with is different and not always a bad idea.

CatsPajamas

I used to subscribe to one that was full of public data, and it was only $25 per year. It had some good information, but was often a bit out dated, and it only gave info from certain states. (for example, license plates are public data in some states and not in others)

I also tend to "google" names, phone numbers etc that can get me some basic information. For ME,in this day and age, it's just smart dating. (However, it's also due to the fact that I am an addict/alcoholic/unstable man magnet... we can find each other in a crowded room in about 90 seconds...)

I think being careful is a good idea, especially when you are meeting/dating someone new. I ALSO think it's really important to listen to that little small voice inside of you that says , "umm I'm not comfortable here..."

Just my opinion.

Hugs

Cat

AllTooSober

Also a background check might create a false sense of security. I wonder what a background check on Ted Bundy might have come up with before they figured out who he really was.

Cynay

Interesting thoughts.... I would probably want to do one now.

Cats ... I cant agree more with listening to that little voice inside... Not something that comes natural to a Codi but definately something to develope and pay attention too.

pmaslan

I did one on my exfiancee (not John) shortly before we became engaged.
We had planned on taking a second mortgage on my home to put
more money into the restaurant we (I owned.) He was always evasive
about his finances and seemed to live from paycheck to paycheck
as far as I could see. Obviously, there were many red flags to encourage
me to do something like that. I told him after we broke up, he was
furious....If I felt the need to do it again, I think I would end the
relationship instead.