It all came down to stinkin thinkin......
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: The Basement
Posts: 724
It all came down to stinkin thinkin......
Stinkin Thinkin......that's my revelation of the week. I have learned so much this week especially about how I cause a lot of my own problems.
I was having a rough time (Sometimes it gets tough in martyr land) Boo hoo hubby took a vacation and I didn't get to. Well who says.......
I figured out that I just had to look at it in a different light (please notice the attached picture below)LOL
Seriously though, I have a very crazy house here w/3 kids 2 dogs and you know who plus I had my worst critics, mommy and daddy here for a week, I needed a break too. One of my big complaints is my husbands 2 dogs. Everyone loves the dogs but I'm the only one who takes care of them. Also they bark incessantly and wake up the babies a lot. Well, I sent them to the neighborhood doggy vacation place where they are getting groomed, bathed, all their shots and medicines in order all in one fell swoop so I don't have to take multiple trips to the vet and they picked the dogs up to boot(bonus). We don't have to pay for it (actually it was very reasonable) until we pick them up. My husband will be coming home tonight and on his way home from work tomorrow with his paycheck from the week before, he can pick up the dogs right.
My step son wanted to see his mom so I said no problem and she was so grateful to have some extra time with him. So basically, it was just me and the 2 babies this week. Probably the most peaceful and quiet weekI have spent since I have been married. It was heaven. I didn't have to clean the house every night for two hours. Basically it stayed pretty clean. Also, I signed up to go on an AA retreat with some of my friends next weekend by myself. I am very excited. These are the things I did for me.
The revelation I had was this.........I went to a meeting today and the topic was alcoholic thinking which is a term we use when our thinking is negative and self defeating and we are not practicing a good third step. The poor me attitude I had about my husbands trip and how I allowed his irresponsibility to dictate my state of mind was very self defeating. I learned that when I start thinking that way, I have to take some kind of action to get me out of it because I can really choose how I handle whatever situation comes my way. I could have wallowed in my coda hell, which I did for a while, but it could have been a lot longer.....instead I turned it into a peaceful, fun, and productive week. I have been thinking a lot about what you all have been telling me to do regarding my own income so..................My friend came over for dinner the other day and we are starting a business together.
I am so excited about all these changes. I feel like I have a new lease on life. I was making up our brochure last night and my husband called and I was in the greatest mood. I caught myself saying I hope you're having a great time, see you when you get home.....all Julie Andrews like. Geeeez, give me a few days of peace and I don't hate my husband anymore. What gives?LOL
I was having a rough time (Sometimes it gets tough in martyr land) Boo hoo hubby took a vacation and I didn't get to. Well who says.......
I figured out that I just had to look at it in a different light (please notice the attached picture below)LOL
Seriously though, I have a very crazy house here w/3 kids 2 dogs and you know who plus I had my worst critics, mommy and daddy here for a week, I needed a break too. One of my big complaints is my husbands 2 dogs. Everyone loves the dogs but I'm the only one who takes care of them. Also they bark incessantly and wake up the babies a lot. Well, I sent them to the neighborhood doggy vacation place where they are getting groomed, bathed, all their shots and medicines in order all in one fell swoop so I don't have to take multiple trips to the vet and they picked the dogs up to boot(bonus). We don't have to pay for it (actually it was very reasonable) until we pick them up. My husband will be coming home tonight and on his way home from work tomorrow with his paycheck from the week before, he can pick up the dogs right.
My step son wanted to see his mom so I said no problem and she was so grateful to have some extra time with him. So basically, it was just me and the 2 babies this week. Probably the most peaceful and quiet weekI have spent since I have been married. It was heaven. I didn't have to clean the house every night for two hours. Basically it stayed pretty clean. Also, I signed up to go on an AA retreat with some of my friends next weekend by myself. I am very excited. These are the things I did for me.
The revelation I had was this.........I went to a meeting today and the topic was alcoholic thinking which is a term we use when our thinking is negative and self defeating and we are not practicing a good third step. The poor me attitude I had about my husbands trip and how I allowed his irresponsibility to dictate my state of mind was very self defeating. I learned that when I start thinking that way, I have to take some kind of action to get me out of it because I can really choose how I handle whatever situation comes my way. I could have wallowed in my coda hell, which I did for a while, but it could have been a lot longer.....instead I turned it into a peaceful, fun, and productive week. I have been thinking a lot about what you all have been telling me to do regarding my own income so..................My friend came over for dinner the other day and we are starting a business together.
I am so excited about all these changes. I feel like I have a new lease on life. I was making up our brochure last night and my husband called and I was in the greatest mood. I caught myself saying I hope you're having a great time, see you when you get home.....all Julie Andrews like. Geeeez, give me a few days of peace and I don't hate my husband anymore. What gives?LOL
Member
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 4,955
Oh hey, look what happens
when you stop thinking about them and what they do...and start thinking about you and what you want out of life. Good for you and your friend for starting your own business, I wish you all the best. It's truly a liberating thing to start living life on YOUR terms. Enjoy your newfound freedom.
Peace,
Gabe
Peace,
Gabe
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Wow Searching - you have done so many positive things just for YOU. Yippee!!!
Enjoy your week, and keep your focus on YOU - even when he comes home. Why? Because YOU'RE WORTH IT!!!
Sending hugs of admiration.
Enjoy your week, and keep your focus on YOU - even when he comes home. Why? Because YOU'RE WORTH IT!!!
Sending hugs of admiration.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: North Vancouver, British Columbia
Posts: 1,714
Way to go, Searching! I'm SOOO proud of you! You continue to inspire me and help me to keep my eyes on the prize. Great new about the business - keep us posted.
Love and hugs.
PS: LMAO over your snowball!
Love and hugs.
PS: LMAO over your snowball!
Supply Manager
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Cleaverville
Posts: 2,898
It really annoys me to no end...but I have learned when I am hypercritical and angry it is usually something about me. Even tho he IS dropping his socks in the middle of the floor. I consider that to be an anon slip. For you it is stinkin thinkin but they are one and the same.
You did good!!!
Hugs,
JT
You did good!!!
Hugs,
JT
Member
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: New York
Posts: 211
Searching,
I call it being in a funk. When I'm like that everything seems to go wrong and I find that I blame myself AND everyone else around me.
Good job getting out of the funk and doing things for yourself. Now KEEP IT UP!!!
NoDoubt
I call it being in a funk. When I'm like that everything seems to go wrong and I find that I blame myself AND everyone else around me.
Good job getting out of the funk and doing things for yourself. Now KEEP IT UP!!!
NoDoubt
Member
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: That's what I'd like to know.
Posts: 2,416
Hi Searching!
Woohooooo for you! I'm glad you were able to turn this around and make a good thing out of it. Ahem... award time!
For Searching... The Golden Pitcher Trophy. Just a little something elegant for holding all that lemonade.
Hugs!
Smoke
Woohooooo for you! I'm glad you were able to turn this around and make a good thing out of it. Ahem... award time!
For Searching... The Golden Pitcher Trophy. Just a little something elegant for holding all that lemonade.
Hugs!
Smoke
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: The Basement
Posts: 724
Thanks, you guys are the best
LMAO Smoke....thanks for the award, you had to put that little TWIST in it didn't ya...LOL (no pun intended)
Ann, Ivy, NoDoubt, Margo....thanks so much for the words of encouragement. You have no idea how much it means ro me.
And JT...all my husbands dirty laundry gets thrown on the middle of the floor. I even bought him this hamper with a huge round open hole on the top, no cover. He would just have to move 1 foot to the right to get it in. I even tried putting it in the middle of the floor, still nothin.
Why do we have to be the more enlightened sex????? We SHOULD be allowed to get mad at that one:p
And last but not least my friend pauline. You've probably heard about the alcoholic thinking in meetings too. It's amazing how it applies in Alanon as well.
The business? My friend is a counselor and one of her colleagues who has a private practice is retiring and handing it over to her. She just has to take over the rent of the office starting in the summer so we have that long to be making enough money to rent it. I am a gerontologist so we are going to combine our skills and I will be working with caregivers doing elder care counseling, information and referral, caregiver support, assessments and care plans, etc. and she will be doing mental health. She actually started it on her own and and named it The Counseling Tree. I told her I was looking to get back into my career and we came up with this idea. Voila
www.counselingtree.com
I will be added to it soon....yeay!!
Pauline, since you have your own business, you'll have to give us some pointers
Although, come to think of it....I don't know what your business is either???????? Your turn
LMAO Smoke....thanks for the award, you had to put that little TWIST in it didn't ya...LOL (no pun intended)
Ann, Ivy, NoDoubt, Margo....thanks so much for the words of encouragement. You have no idea how much it means ro me.
And JT...all my husbands dirty laundry gets thrown on the middle of the floor. I even bought him this hamper with a huge round open hole on the top, no cover. He would just have to move 1 foot to the right to get it in. I even tried putting it in the middle of the floor, still nothin.
Why do we have to be the more enlightened sex????? We SHOULD be allowed to get mad at that one:p
And last but not least my friend pauline. You've probably heard about the alcoholic thinking in meetings too. It's amazing how it applies in Alanon as well.
The business? My friend is a counselor and one of her colleagues who has a private practice is retiring and handing it over to her. She just has to take over the rent of the office starting in the summer so we have that long to be making enough money to rent it. I am a gerontologist so we are going to combine our skills and I will be working with caregivers doing elder care counseling, information and referral, caregiver support, assessments and care plans, etc. and she will be doing mental health. She actually started it on her own and and named it The Counseling Tree. I told her I was looking to get back into my career and we came up with this idea. Voila
www.counselingtree.com
I will be added to it soon....yeay!!
Pauline, since you have your own business, you'll have to give us some pointers
Although, come to think of it....I don't know what your business is either???????? Your turn Last edited by Stephanie; 04-03-2003 at 11:48 AM.
It is what it is!!!
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Sobriety
Posts: 5,767
Search -
I am so very proud of you, that is awesome. Okay okay i have to admit I had to look up what a 'gerontologist' was, but now I understand LOL! You are such an open caring person, what a great thing for you to do.
I don't know how much help I would be, we have a landscaping business, I do all the bookkeeping and he does all the work LOL! But if there is some way I can help let me know.
And yeah, I have heard the 'stinkin thinkin' phrase many times, been quilty of it myself a few hundred times or so (like recently with my mom).
Anyway, you are such a great example of using the tools that the programs give us.
God Bless you my friend!
I am so very proud of you, that is awesome. Okay okay i have to admit I had to look up what a 'gerontologist' was, but now I understand LOL! You are such an open caring person, what a great thing for you to do.
I don't know how much help I would be, we have a landscaping business, I do all the bookkeeping and he does all the work LOL! But if there is some way I can help let me know.
And yeah, I have heard the 'stinkin thinkin' phrase many times, been quilty of it myself a few hundred times or so (like recently with my mom).
Anyway, you are such a great example of using the tools that the programs give us.
God Bless you my friend!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: georgia
Posts: 531
Searching, sorry I am late, but HOW EXCITING! Starting your own business, that is great. Sounds like you had a very productive week.
You are such and inspiration, thank you!
Good luck with the business
Constant
You are such and inspiration, thank you!
Good luck with the business
Constant
believer
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: walking in faith
Posts: 1,023
Call it stinking thinking if you want, but it can't be too bad if you can turn it around and end up starting your own business as a result! Talk about taking lemons and making lemonade!!!
That's so awesome - way to go girl!!!
Hugs,
JG
That's so awesome - way to go girl!!!
Hugs,
JG
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: The Basement
Posts: 724
Thanks Constant and JG
and Pauline, don't worry no one ever knows what it is. I forget about that, so if anyone is interested it's the study of Aging, old people. I basically work with the family though, the caregivers and give them information as to what they need to do to care for their parents or grandparents and I refer services, advise on financial entitlements like Medicare, Medicaid....stuff like that.
Hopefully in the counseling tree I will start a caregiver support group.
Anyway, thanks for all the encouragement and kind words guys. Also for all the great advice. It got me off my tushy (as someone around here says)
and Pauline, don't worry no one ever knows what it is. I forget about that, so if anyone is interested it's the study of Aging, old people. I basically work with the family though, the caregivers and give them information as to what they need to do to care for their parents or grandparents and I refer services, advise on financial entitlements like Medicare, Medicaid....stuff like that.
Hopefully in the counseling tree I will start a caregiver support group.
Anyway, thanks for all the encouragement and kind words guys. Also for all the great advice. It got me off my tushy (as someone around here says)
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