Attorney update...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: TX
Posts: 371
Attorney update...
I went to see another attorney yesterday. I really liked him and I learned a lot more from him than the others.
For instance: I didn’t realize that if I talked to AH about seeing an attorney, and he realizes that his efforts aren’t working. He could easily
file, have the kids for the weekend and have me served. Then I’d have to fight him in court to get the kids back. That hadn’t crossed my mind because I know he doesn’t really want the kids…but that wouldn’t be the point. It’d be to get to me.
I decided to go ahead and file. I was wondering if anyone had any experience with how to handle visitations / alcohol issues.
Do I stipulate he go through a program? Or do I just stipulate that he don’t drink while having the children? He has told me in
The past that I couldn’t tell him what, when and how when it came to his kids… so I’m a little concerned if I try to stipulate a program or
something he’s just going to drag it out…
Anyway… just another update. I get paid today and plan to contact the attorney once I decide how to handle the alcohol issue.
Oh.. another thing. The last attorney said child support was 25%, this one said it is 20% 1st child and 5% for each after.
Thanks again.
For instance: I didn’t realize that if I talked to AH about seeing an attorney, and he realizes that his efforts aren’t working. He could easily
file, have the kids for the weekend and have me served. Then I’d have to fight him in court to get the kids back. That hadn’t crossed my mind because I know he doesn’t really want the kids…but that wouldn’t be the point. It’d be to get to me.
I decided to go ahead and file. I was wondering if anyone had any experience with how to handle visitations / alcohol issues.
Do I stipulate he go through a program? Or do I just stipulate that he don’t drink while having the children? He has told me in
The past that I couldn’t tell him what, when and how when it came to his kids… so I’m a little concerned if I try to stipulate a program or
something he’s just going to drag it out…
Anyway… just another update. I get paid today and plan to contact the attorney once I decide how to handle the alcohol issue.
Oh.. another thing. The last attorney said child support was 25%, this one said it is 20% 1st child and 5% for each after.
Thanks again.
boommer
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Ft.Wayne,Ind
Posts: 20
I'm kinda in the same situation but the table is turned,my ex. husband has custody of my son.I get him every Saturday from 9 in the morning till 1 in the afternoon.My ex. is still in active addiction.I have told the courts what my ex. is doing and all I here is you were the bad mother.Before I go to far my son got put in the system cause my neighbor ratted me out.When I take my son back home he cusses,kicks,screams,and tells me what his dad says and does to him such as sit in a chair all day,won't let him play with his toys,etc.When we do take him back my ex. is always drunk or high so my hands are tied and the courts won't listen to me so I'm stuck.
Belgian Sheepdog Adictee
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: In Today
Posts: 6,101
Ayers, Texas Judges in Family Court seem to extemely concerned for the children. Request supervised visitation because of his alcohol problems. The Court will look very closely at your request and AT HIM before granting visitation.
When you retain the Attorney YOU TELL THE ATTORNEY you WANT SUPERVISED VISITATION and why. The Attorney will get it set up that way. Under the circumstances that is the best for both you and the children.
Boomer, the Indiana Family Courts are really strange. My Nephew is now fighting for custody of his 2 children. Their mother has already had an older child removed by the courts and placed with that child's father, but now the court seems to be dragging its feet to get his two away from her, GO FIGURE. I think in Indiana it REALLY DEPENDS ON THE JUDGE AND THE COUNTY.
J M H O
Love and hugs,
When you retain the Attorney YOU TELL THE ATTORNEY you WANT SUPERVISED VISITATION and why. The Attorney will get it set up that way. Under the circumstances that is the best for both you and the children.
Boomer, the Indiana Family Courts are really strange. My Nephew is now fighting for custody of his 2 children. Their mother has already had an older child removed by the courts and placed with that child's father, but now the court seems to be dragging its feet to get his two away from her, GO FIGURE. I think in Indiana it REALLY DEPENDS ON THE JUDGE AND THE COUNTY.
J M H O
Love and hugs,
Always hopeful...
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Illinois
Posts: 429
Good question...what do you do about the kids.....especially w/ the history here with him. Seek some professional advice also. There has to be some good experience here with Mom's on our SR. Good luck, and you sound so good.....I'm glad. Linda
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Hanging In There
Posts: 87
Originally Posted by Ayers1995 
I didn’t realize that if I talked to AH about seeing an attorney, and he realizes that his efforts aren’t working. He could easily file, have the kids for the weekend and have me served. Then I’d have to fight him in court to get the kids back.
Most courts are concerned 1st & foremost with the best interest of the children and will make temporay decisions in regards to visitation until issues presented are either proved or disproved. If you are concerned about his drinking around the children you should consider bringing it up for their best interest.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Nowhere TX
Posts: 60
Hey, Ayers, Congrats on moving fowards. I know it's hard, very, very hard. my divorce was just finaled last Friday--Thank you, Jesus! Sorry, it just got prolonged and prolonged.
But to the point of children--i'm from a small town, so the attorney already 'knew' why I was filing and that the kids shouldn't get standard visitations due to his alcohol problem. The judge read over everything and admitted it would be 'best' if children had contact wtih their father on a regular basis, but under the circumstances this wasn't an issue at present. Soooo I get to choose when and where and he's not allowed ot pick them up from school or anywhere else for that matter. Just be perfectly honest with your attorney and tell him what you want. Try not to worry about what AH will 'think/do/react'---God knows I did and it's such a waste of energy.
TX courts are VERY children oriented as another poster said, and if you're honest and he has any record due to alcohol related incidents, it helps. Just be clear with your attorney with what you want due to visitations because of AH, and keep taking deep breaths, those help ALOT.
I'll keep you and yours in my prayers.
HUGS and good luck!
fartheralong
But to the point of children--i'm from a small town, so the attorney already 'knew' why I was filing and that the kids shouldn't get standard visitations due to his alcohol problem. The judge read over everything and admitted it would be 'best' if children had contact wtih their father on a regular basis, but under the circumstances this wasn't an issue at present. Soooo I get to choose when and where and he's not allowed ot pick them up from school or anywhere else for that matter. Just be perfectly honest with your attorney and tell him what you want. Try not to worry about what AH will 'think/do/react'---God knows I did and it's such a waste of energy.
TX courts are VERY children oriented as another poster said, and if you're honest and he has any record due to alcohol related incidents, it helps. Just be clear with your attorney with what you want due to visitations because of AH, and keep taking deep breaths, those help ALOT. I'll keep you and yours in my prayers.
HUGS and good luck!
fartheralong
Royalty
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Ohio
Posts: 366
(your inbox is full btw)
When going through a divorce with children, you can ask for a Guardian Ad Litem to be appointed. Different states call them different things, but it is an advocate for the children, not the parents. It is usually an attorney, but doesn't necessarily have to be. The court appoints one if either side asks for one. He/She is to investigate both homes, talk to everyone, talk to the children, and decide what is in the best interest of the children. He/she then reports to the judge, and the judge almost always rules by what the Guardian has to say.
The downfalls of this are of course the cost. Each side will have to pay up front for his services because they are more worried about getting paid then worrying about the kids. The other problem can be if this person is not able to be unbiased about the situation.
As for child support, here is how it works in Ohio (which may or may not be close to how texas does it)....The combined income of both parents are added together....this is the total money that is available to these boys.
Let me use numbers, so it may not be so confusing.
Lets say: Your income is $40000 and his income is $60000
that makes your portion 40% of the total and his is 60%.
Then there is a chart (might be able to find it online somewhere) that says that in your county/state it costs (some amount) to raise three children.
Lets say that number is $15000.
Multiply your percent by 15k and his
this = $6000 Hers
= $9000 His
Divide his total by 12, and that is what you should receive(per month) if all the kids stay with you.
Some states also consider how much time the kids spend at each house when figuring support. Stay-at-home moms get imputed an income of what they could be making, if there is no medical reason for staying home, so don't ever think that quitting your job would do you any good.
Since your inbox is full, here is the website that got me through many years of custody problems with my ex. www.divorcenet.com It's a forum much like here, and also has each state with many links to resources needed.
I would also suggest calling your local child support agency, and meeting with them to get you a better idea of what will/should be the 'average' amount of child support. In ohio it's called, CSEA, Child Support Enforcement Agency.
Don't go to court without all the information you can gather (in other words, be prepared).
I could talk all day about this, so send me a PM if you need any help.
The downfalls of this are of course the cost. Each side will have to pay up front for his services because they are more worried about getting paid then worrying about the kids. The other problem can be if this person is not able to be unbiased about the situation.
As for child support, here is how it works in Ohio (which may or may not be close to how texas does it)....The combined income of both parents are added together....this is the total money that is available to these boys.
Let me use numbers, so it may not be so confusing.
Lets say: Your income is $40000 and his income is $60000
that makes your portion 40% of the total and his is 60%.
Then there is a chart (might be able to find it online somewhere) that says that in your county/state it costs (some amount) to raise three children.
Lets say that number is $15000.
Multiply your percent by 15k and his
this = $6000 Hers
= $9000 His
Divide his total by 12, and that is what you should receive(per month) if all the kids stay with you.
Some states also consider how much time the kids spend at each house when figuring support. Stay-at-home moms get imputed an income of what they could be making, if there is no medical reason for staying home, so don't ever think that quitting your job would do you any good.
Since your inbox is full, here is the website that got me through many years of custody problems with my ex. www.divorcenet.com It's a forum much like here, and also has each state with many links to resources needed.
I would also suggest calling your local child support agency, and meeting with them to get you a better idea of what will/should be the 'average' amount of child support. In ohio it's called, CSEA, Child Support Enforcement Agency.
Don't go to court without all the information you can gather (in other words, be prepared).
I could talk all day about this, so send me a PM if you need any help.
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