ohmari

hi, i'm new around here. i'm fifteen and my mother has been an alcoholic since she was seventeen. there's no father in the picture and although i do have an ex-stepfather, my mother doesn't want him around. i would go into the details about the situation, but most of you know what it's like. that's kinda comforting. there's massive neglect and tremendous emotional abuse. anyway, the circumstances have gone severely downhill lately and for the past year or so i've contemplated leaving. i have a lot of suicidal tendencies and i don't want to do something like that. my question is: what are my options? i know of emancipation but would children's protective services have anything to do with the situation? any information is very much appreciated. thanks!

Cynay

Welcome to SR Ohmari... Im glad to meet you.

I am an adult child of an alcoholic so I do understand what its like to live with an Alcoholic as a kid.... Im sorry you are going through this.

I have a link here that might give you more answers then I can... check it out and see what you think.

http://www.12stepforums.net/teens.html

http://www.activeboard.com/forum.spark?forumID=42762

LaTeeDa

I do not know what your options are. Is there a trusted adult you could go to and ask for advice? School counselor, pastor, relative? I believe there is help out there for you. I hope you find it.

L

ohmari

thanks cynay and lateeda. i've been aware of the severity of the situation for quite a while now and most of my close friends know. i told a school counselor in seventh grade but nothing was done. the rest of my family knows and says it's up to me to do what i feel is necessary. it feels like my only option is to get out.

Morning Glory

Hi ohmari,

Here are some links from your area.

http://8590562.usdirectory.com/index...id=1829&tbid=1

http://www.hc-ps.org/

http://www.texas-al-anon.org/

http://suicidehotlines.com/texas.html

http://www.hrc.hctx.net/EmergencyShelter.htm

I'm sorry you are going through this. If you keep making phone calls you will find the help you need. Let us know if you need more information and we will help you get through this.

Hugs,
MG

LaTeeDa

I'd hate for you to "go it alone." Check the front of your phone book. Is there some kind of a crisis line or hotline you can call? Even if there isn't one for your particular situation, maybe you could call something like a domestic violence hotline and they could direct you? You don't have to go it alone.......

L

denny57

welcome ohmari, glad you're here

It's great that you want to make some positive change in your life. You don't have to do it alone - great advice above with good links. There are great resources out there I never knew about until I went looking.

Good luck and keep us posted.

Kellye C

Hi sweetie. I am so sorry that you are going through this. I put my kids through similar things before getting sober and know firsthand how it effected them. My daughter moved in with her dad (she is now 17) but my son's dad wasn't in the picture so he was stuck with me except my mom (God bless her!) stepped in and took him (he's 20 now). So, my question to you is this. Do you have family members or close family friends who would be able to take you in? You said you talked to a counselor in the 7th grade and nothing really happened but maybe you could try it again with a new counselor and see what happens. Also, check out Alateen.

I live in Houston so if I can help you find local resources just send me a private message and I'll help however I can in running down leads. I can also ask around the rooms of my home group to see if they have any suggestions.

In the meantime, hang in there, stay connected to us because we all know very well the hell that practicing alcoholics and addicts put us through and get some of this stuff off your chest. You are no longer alone. There is hope!

Hugs,
Kellye

ohmari

thanks, kellye. what i'm focusing on, though, is permanently getting out without legal reprecussions. if i were to go with any of the family i have access to, police would be called and i don't want to start any more drama than there already is. i may take you up on your offer of messaging you, though.

Kellye C

Ohmari, I understand you're talking about permanently getting out, I was just wondering if being placed permanently with family was an option. I certainly can understand not wanting any more drama and chaos because I'm sure you've had plenty of that in your young life.

Please feel free to private message me or just hit the *****! thing under my user name and I think that will send a message directly to my *****! account which I will see faster because I keep it up at work. As I said, I will do some research if you'd like and see what options there are. I was just trying to get a feel for what the rest of your family is like and how much of a support system they might be able to provide for you.

Hang in there sweetie!
Kellye

ohmari

after looking around a bit and talking to some people, i think the best option may be to call child protective services. do any of you have experience with their response to this sort of situation?

CatsTail

It's up to child protection service sto help you out that is their job.

Are there any Alateen meetings in your area you can attend after you are out?

Sorry you ar egoing through this alone. Are there any relatives you can stay with? Is there ANOTHER counsellor at your school or trusted teacher who might be more pro-active for you?

Ngaire

Pick-a-name

Do you have any friends with a parent you can talk to to help you with this? Or a relative you can trust? I have been involved with several situations like this (to various degrees of involvement) with my children's friends over the years. It is nice to have someone to call for help and support (even a ride,etc). CPS would not be my first choice,but maybe in your area it is a good way to go. Best of luck to you whatever route you take.

I hope you stick around and keep us posted,too.

reader

Yes Mari, I was going to suggest CPS. I worked as a foster parent for years and most us do it because we love kids. I have had a teen girl like yourself and a teen boy, they were treated like gold. The workers in cps are great and they will be a big support to u. Don't try to go emancipated it is lonely and kids usually hate it. Be well and keep me posted. Hugs out to u, Kerry

historyteach

Please talk to your school counselor or a trusted adult. A teacher, minister, principal of your school or other dependable adult.
You should not be making these decisions alone. There's too much you do not understand about your rights and how these decisions can effect your future.
I fully appreciate that the home is a bad place. And you may well be better off out of there. But, you need guidance. When you go to school tomorrow, set up an appt right away with someone. Don't take no for an answer.
Let us know how you are.

Shalom!

Jazzman

ohmari, you could call CPS anonymously and gather some information on your options. CPS might want to try and place you w/ family temporarily, or maybe a foster home? Only one way to find out.. give them a call. I looked up CPS for your area...

Child Protective Services
2223 West Loop S
Houston, TX 77027

(713) 960-1471

ohmari

after exploring all of my options, i reported her today. hopefully they will contact my school counselor and set up a meeting with me once i return on the 3rd. thank you all for the information and support!

AllTooSober

(((ohmari))) do let us know how it goes for you, k?

ohmari

i told my best friend's mom and she said that it was probably a good idea to call children's protective services. so i filed a report and the social worker is coming to talk to my mom tomorrow afternoon. i'm going to a friend's house early tomorrow and staying until sometime the next day, although i expect my mother to go to her house the second the social worker leaves. i'm really scared and i don't know exactly what to expect. all i can do is take the things that mean the most to me with me and have plans to be in a safe place at all times. what happens when a social worker comes? if he/she deems it necessary, will i be able to leave tomorrow?

mallowcup

It's hard to know exactly how this will play out. CPS will act in your best interest. I know you are probably used to making adult decisions but this time I'd let this play out. You did the absolute right thing for everyone concerned, especially yourself. You sound very mature. When CPS comes, they don't call ahead, they sort of show upunexpectedly. They do that so they can see what goes on when someone isn't expected. You know like when you know company is coming so you clean the house to leave a good impression? They are polite and they talk to the parents and get a feel for whats going on. While they talk, they are also observing how clean the hosue is, do they smell alcohol or see any dangers or signs of concern. Remember that sometimes there are tiny kids and babies in homes where they aren't getting the care they need. Some parents are drinkers, some on drugs, some are just poor without a job, some are mean to their kids and some little kids are found home alone. They are pretty fair but usually what they do and how fast they do it depends on what they find. The most important thing for you to do right now is to let them do their job. They do what they do because they want all kids to be safe and secure, they want children well taken care of. You did the right thing. They will guide you along as this whole thing unfolds. They will help you and they have the authority to act in your best interest. Please let us know and keep coming here to talk. Everything will be fine and it will work out. You have taken a very mature step and I am glad you have your freinds mom to talk to.