2 wks. of AH not drinking: can see who he is now

Old 12-13-2006, 12:25 PM
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2 wks. of AH not drinking: can see who he is now

And it's sad, but at least the clouds have cleared from the sky. With all the boozing and chaos and insanity that was going on, all I could see was an obnoxious drunk. I hated the drinking so much it made my skin crawl. Now the drinking has ceased entirely. Now I can see the problems w/o the booze interfering.

My AH is incapable or unable to be emotionally intimate on any level. He makes a good friend, he is polite, he doesn't cuss or carry on ... but he is eerily detached. Actually, complacent is a better word. But I now realize he was always that way: never assertive, into his own little world, unable to share his hopes and fears. Okay for a nice acquaintance, but gets a big, fat "F" as a husband. It's sad because he is a very lonely man who has imprisioned himself in his loneliness.

I thank my H.P. for giving me this opportunity to see what is going on here and allowing me to see that this just ain't gonna work. And, most of all, I am relieved. Can you imagine living with a husband for the rest of your life who makes polite chit-chat, sleeps in a separate bedroom without questioning "why," and never touches you - not even a pat on the shoulder? Not me!
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Old 12-13-2006, 12:30 PM
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Just want to give understanding ((HUGS))
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Old 12-13-2006, 12:38 PM
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I feel for you. As I said when my AH went to rehab this last time, there's no cure for a**hole. Lack of drinking doesn't change who they are generally. And maybe consider that he is such a miserable person right now b/c he is resentful to you and to everyone else b/c he isn't drinking. Even between drunken days, my AH was miserable and angry b/c he wasn't drinking. At family functions, he was horrible b/c he would rather be drinking.
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Old 12-13-2006, 01:56 PM
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You know... that is really sad.
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Old 12-13-2006, 02:18 PM
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I too felt sad reading this. Addiction is nothing to mess around with, yet nobody thinks it's going to happen to them. Sigh.
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