Blondie

I haven't been around here for a while because I have been reading a lot and working on myself (including counseling and soon, a support group). I have started setting some firm boundries and I am sticking with them after reading a book my counselor suggested on boundries. Funny, as a co-dependent, I didn't know there was such a thing as boundries. In the past my old counselor told me to be more assertive with my alcoholic husband, but without a knowledge of boundries, I really didn't know what to be assertive about. Now that I know, I have set boundries, and my husband has had more raging incidents then usual in the past few months.

My husband has stayed sober since April last year (well, there was a day last month that he smelled like beer and was giddier then usual, so I don't know), but he is acting worse. I have read a book on Borderline Personality Disorder, and he has ALL of the symtoms: Raging, rapid mood changes, some days he hates me, others he loves me, etc. When he found out I had ordered a book on this subject (after reading my e-mail and researching what I had ordered from Amazon.com) he was enraged and took an internet personality disorder test in which he came out fine, but he lied on most of the questions! He said outright that HE did not have a problem and he would NEVER go for professional help as he was perfectly fine.

I told my counselor about my thinking my husband has BPD and of course she couldn't be sure if he had it or not (didn't really expect her to know, but her input could be helpful for ME). He absolutely refuses AA or any type of counseling because he thinks he is "fine." I know I cannot help him, but knowing exactly what I am dealing with is a big help for me in making a decision to stay or leave.

Has anyone here heard of Borderline Personality Disorder and/or know someone that was diagnosed with this? My husband is acting more and more unbalanced everyday! Could this just be some reaction to no drinking, as in a type of withdrawl or is there something else going on here?

constant

Hey Blondie,

I have read a little on BPD because I had the same thoughts on my husband. However, what I read I found to be symptoms that could be applied to many different things. My husband still drinks so it hard to tell. I don't think there is any way to know for sure without diagnosis from a doc, but I guess what really matters is regardless of the reason your husband behaves the way that he does, can you live happily with it?

I too am always trying to understand why, but sometimes the why doesn't matter. We can't change the why, so it all comes back to what WE choose WE can be happy with and what WE can't.

Best of luck to you!!!! Don't know much about withdrawal, but am sure that someone else will.

liddy

hi blondie
i spent alot of time too trying to figure out my son.
thought he was an alcoholic, the marine corps yrs
ago diagnosed him w/ a personality disorder when he
was under alot of stress. well it has happened again
this past yr. and to make a long story short he was
diagnosed with mild bi polar and mild schiz, and alcohol
problems induced by the mental thing.
right now he is depressed but when he was manic
he was another person, it made our heads spin.
diagnosing is very difficult and made worse when they
dont think anything is wrong with themselves, so dont
say much to the dr.
gl to you, take care of yourself.even knowing doesnt help
what your up against until they can become honest with
themselves.
God Bless
liddy
ps I read alot of psychology books trying to diagnose
but you just never realy seem to come to any conclusions.