CatsTail

No that's not bad. You have to do what is right for you because he won't, he's too busy doing what is right for him.

They are good at doing things half measures to lull people into complacency but still indulging in their addiction. It's called "con job". This is what I have just lived.

So go while you still aren't married have no kids no big ties to him other than an aching heart. Because unless they want to get well and see a problem it is a roller coaster ride from hell and not worth it.

Ngaire

sunwish

Hi -- I struggled with this too. I ended up printing out the Rehab info in our area that are covered by our ins and the AA meetings in the towns around us. When he said he needed my help to do this because I am the strong one I gave him the papers. There is my help. The rest is up to him. I have asked him to leave after our financial situation is all set regardless of if he is drinking or not. My feelings for him have changed after 13 years together. Good luck to you. It's up to you how much you do/don't do but make sure to take care of yourself.

AllTooSober

So I've decided NOT to research programs or even give him phone numbers. I decided this after remembering the countless hours he'd spend on the internet and on the phone trying to find a specific kind of guitar he wants to buy. I figure, if he can figure out how to do all that while drunk off his ass, surely he can locate a program that will suit him... a fact I'll bring up if he asks me to do the research again.

denny57

Nice reasoning, AllTooSober - I'd hug you if I was there.

embraced2000

yes....that's right on alltoosober!!!!! they are not as helpless as they appear....only when it benefits them to be helpless.....which as codies, is our poison!!!!

love to you
jeri

AllTooSober

Thanks, ladies! :-D