I Lost It
 

Hi,
Tonite AH comes home from our GP (dr.) drunk. Went because he has pinkeye. But he was thilled. AH has "signficant liver disease" according to his liver specialist and only 5 years left to live, but tonite our GP told him he could party his a** off till January and quit then!!!! Told him it won't kill him, and he may not even need a liver biopsy. AH is thrilled - he has a license to drink (even though liver specialist told him he'd be dead in less than 5 years if he didn't stop). Anyway, I suddenly got soooooo mad!!!! I told him to cancel his liver dr. appointment on 12/20, party his drunk a** off and hope for the best. He's in that mode where he sits and stares at me, a very antagonistical mode. I asked him to get something from the car - did he? No. I went and got it, he said "I'll get it" yeah, when? He had to go pick up his eye drops, but while he's sitting in a drunken stooper in the chair, I said "don't you have to get your drops?" He's like "I will", well WHEN????? Then I told him when he gets home from getting them, to get his drunk a** upstairs. Now he's all pissed, blames me for ruining his night, he was in a good mood that the dr. said he could drink and all, and I had to go and ruin it. I know I'm not to blame, totally been there, done that, but I'm mad at myself for losing it. I was doing so good too. And I guess I'm just in a bad mood because my sister lied to me big time about something, and tonite is my office holiday party, which I didn't go to because spouses were invited and last year he embarassed me to much, I couldn't do it again this year, and having to answer to everyone on why he wasn't with me if I did go, and I probably will miss a good time. I'm tired of all this crap right now. Thanks for listening.
QT

If it's not too late, go to the Christmas party! Go on, get dressed!! It is none of anybody's business why your husband did not attend. At least you could have a good time instead of stewing at home. Also, the man is being ridiculous, deluding himself into thinking that drinking all month will not have any effect on his liver. For goodness sake, I'd have lost it too. And I really would not trust him about the doctor's permission to drink--no sane doctor would sign off on a drinking binge for any patient, especially one with a chronic liver disease. Go have a good time.

I have been a Nurse for 30+ years and just can't imagine a Doctor telling a Liver diseased patient that. He may have told him it wouldn't necessarily kill him, but.....not giving him a green light. Oh, my goodness!
Hey, it's only 6:30 where you are right, go to the party! Tell them he's got pink eye! After reading your post I'm as disgusted as you are! Sorry.....for your pain. Linda

Unless the GP told me so himself, I'd consider it fantasy.

I know I lose it at times, particularly when AH is really trashed and behaving like an annoying pain in the a**. However, it doesn't get me anywhere and oftentimes escalates into a war. I've learned to get my butt outta the house fast. You should have dressed to the teeth and gone to the party, in my opinion. I would have gone and had a great time. If anyone asked about hubby, I would have said, "He's home sick." It's true because he IS sick.

I recently went to Tucson and AH went with me to a tourist attraction about an hour's drive southeast of the city. He was smashed. People were glancing at him and giving each other that ah-ha look. Didn't bother me in the least. If he wants to go out in public and spit and slobber I don't allow it to be a reflection on me.

We all get ticked off at the A's in our life from time to time, particularly after a rotten day. Don't beat yourself up over it.

evenin queen

it's like god took a cookie cutter and stamped all the alcoholics outta the same dough, but just decorated them a little differently.

they are so sick.

is alcoholism the only man made disease on this earth???

take care and love to you
jeri

Dear Queen, You picked your name you are the queen. Think that. Now what will you and will you not tolerate. I hope you did go to the party there will be a next time though through the holidays make a party with friends dress up go out. There is no reason to tolerate their behavior. Prodigal is right. It sounds like you just got mad at yourself been there and done that too. I get soooooooo mad at myself for not tapping into what al-anon shows me through the 12 steps and when I get to the anger I try to give it over through prayer. I hope that you get your balance back soon. This week it has taken me 5 days to balance that is bad. My ex's mom may she rest in peace said "What doesn't kill you makes you strong." I live that. Wishing you peace today. Irsh

Hay Irishiz, did u mean your x's Mom has past away, if so I am very sorry. My x's mom was such a support to me and a friend. I will say a prayer for u and her. Didn't mean to hijack!! How are u doing today Queen? Like Irishiz suggested pray helps me too to stay centered. I always have to work to control my Irish temper. Hope u are feeling better and the vent helped. Take care of U!! K

Thanks guys for all your input. I wound up telling him nicely that I couldn't deal with him at the moment and that he had to go upstairs and sleep upstairs because that is our agreement when he is drunk. All went well, I got some sleep and feel much better today. Thanks for helping me out.

That's good queen. I do that too. Kerri, yes my ex husband's mom she was from Belfast. She was a wonderful woman. She was strong. Lived through the troubles. Had to emigrate to a new country. Got held at Ellis Island at 6 years old for 6 months or 3 months and father was an A gambler. Left her family when they were young. Awful. She was a beautiful woman raised a beautiful family. I always admired her. Irsh

You did not overreact. I would have lost it too. Probably should have lost it on him awhile back.

Glad you are having a better day today.

I'm a nurse too and I agree that I have never heard a doctor say such a think and can't imagine it. The doctor may have implied that at this point in time, not drinking won't make a tremendous difference. Or knowing that this is his last Christmas, do what makes you happy. A doctors comments may not imply health, they may imply little time left. Doctors are pretty straight forward and the patient often hears things that weren't said.