RiverLady

It breaks my heart so much to see how this disease can mess up so many people's lives. My son is also an alcoholic and drug user and will be out of the state pen a week before Christmas. (son from a former marriage that was ended because of his death from brain cancer) My husband is at a Salvation rehab center seeing if he can check in as I write this. His handle is "Burning Bush" from the story of Moses. He calls me "Rainbow Brite" because I named my youngest of 5 children, Rainbow. He was a UPC Minister for 18 years. When he came to the revelation that "Standards" aren't really a "heaven or hell" issue, his wife divorced him because she was afraid he'd corrupt the kids. He never had a drink in his life until 2 1/2 years ago. Being a man of God, and loving the Lord so much, he had always tried to do the right thing before God and His people. But I think the guilt of what happened with his first marriage, losing the kids who are now full grown, fighting his diabetes, feeling as a failure towards God, and not being able to play racquetball or sports anymore just came to a head and he gave up. At first he said he started drinking because it made him feel like it did when he received the Holy Spirit, in that he had no walls up and felt so free. His dad who he never really knew, died from alcohol related illnesses and from what I hear, all his aunts and uncles on his dad side too. I begged him not to drink and warned him of the risks, as I saw how my oldest fell into the trap. His grandfather was what they called a friday night drunk. Got the paycheck and off to the bar he went. He was such a happy drunk and such a wonderful person sober too. But, the genes go on. Then burning bush said, if drinking and getting drunk is so bad, why did Jesus turn the water into wine. Good question, but I'm sure there's something there that we haven't understood, because the Word also says very clearing to be sober in Spirit too. But, he just kept thinking he could handle the drinking. The really sad thing too is, our boss is my sister. I realize that he needed to go, and I was in agreeance with that, but how she did it was, in my mind, totally wrong. I live 45 minutes up the mountain, there is no one within a mile from where we live, and certainly nothing and no one to fix the truck that had to be towed home that day because of the clutch burning out. I told her, yes he has to go and get help, but it can wait until tomorrow, as he needs to fix the truck and find a place to stay. I had called my other sister and brother-in-law and my oldest daughter was here too. But none of us could convince her to let it go one more day. There was no one staying here, and he had no alcohol here, no way of getting any, and he needed that truck fixed. But, she said she call the police. So my daughter drove him done the mountain and dropped him off at a friends near her home. Then my sister started saying all kinds of bad things about him, which were so totally untrue it made me sick. Her husband drinks too, and my husband thinks part of her anger came from her unhappy marriage. Her husband has been drinking for 8 years. She kicked him out too, he went to rehab, came back, but she still held a grudge against him, because he didn't do "ALL" the things she said he had to do, sooo, he gave up and went back to drinking. So, here I am, on top of the mountain, with 2, 7 month old beagle/mix pups, and it's 18 degrees out right now. I can't find anyone to come up here to fix the truck, so I'm stuck here. I wasn't prepared for this and am running of some things I need, including dog food! But, I know I'll get through this, I also suffered the loss of a wonderful man from brain cancer 30 years ago. You know how when you're teenagers and you write, "love eteranlly" or "love forever", well, it's true, love never dies even though the Lord may take that person. I am praying now, that burning bush will be able to get the help he needs at this place he's at right now, and that they'll have room for him so he can stay. We both love each other very much, and he's a fun person to be with when he's not drinking. We each have a cross to carry and it's carried here on earth. I look at what the Lord went through, Apostle Paul, and all those other Jewish Christains and Gentile Christains went through, just to keep the Word alive. And then realize, I'm no better or worse off than them, we each still have all the same relationships, hurts, love, persecution, and everything else in life, it's just that we drive cars, and they drove donkeys. But life is the same. Well, thanks for letting me vent this episode in my life. God Bless all of you. As Arnold said once, "I'll be back"
Mountain Lady

embraced2000

riverlady
sounds as if al-anon meetings may be few and far between there....but please keep coming here and reading and posting.

denial is very common with alcoholics and their families.....it's part of the disease. as their families, we become very sick, too, by living with the effects of alcoholism.......we begin to believe all the things they explain to us.

vent away.....we're here to listen.....and vent ourselves from time to time.

blessings to you
jeri

Cynay

Welcome RiverLady... we are glad you found us.

Im sorry your struggling right now and my prayers go out to you and yours. Unfortunally there always seems to be alot of fallout from this disease. Your not alone in your struggles though....Everyone of us here has either gone through, going through the issues of Alcoholism.

I look forward to getting to know you. Read the stickies at the top and keep posting and getting it out of your system. Just remember you did not Cause this, you can not Control it and you Can not Cure it.. its an inside job with him and his lord.

StandingStrong

Welcome to SoberRecovery Riverlady. I hope that you will stick around and share your journey with us. There are wonderful and valuable posts throughout this forum, but as was suggested above, I hope you check out the "Stickies" that are at the top of the forum.
Remember - that even when it feels like you are so alone and that no one understands, remember that many have felt the same feelings as you are as you go through this rough time. You are not alone.

mazey

Glad you found this site. You will feel comfort here....
(HE may have turned the water to wine, but he didn't mean for it to be abused!)