My ongoing struggle with control issues

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11-20-2006, 03:45 AM

# 21 (permalink)

FriendofBill

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Join Date: Mar 2005

Location: Recoveryville, USA

Posts: 1,297

Perfectly said, Jeri!

11-20-2006, 04:04 AM

# 22 (permalink)

kentg

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Join Date: Nov 2006

Location: hilo hawaii

Posts: 17

wait. you cant shoot em? Now I gotta come up with a new plan B! and just when I thought I had it all figured out

11-20-2006, 07:27 AM

# 23 (permalink)

embraced2000

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Join Date: Oct 2006

Location: southern indiana

Posts: 2,145

lol kentg....
nah...can't do that....seems like society frowns upon that action!!!!

better come up with new plan B.....let me know what it is, maybe i can use it too???

jeri

11-20-2006, 09:16 AM

# 24 (permalink)

laurie6781

Belgian Sheepdog Adictee

Join Date: Apr 2004

Location: In Today

Posts: 6,101

Quote:

But I see myself as sick, if not sicker, than my AH because I think my behavior has power over him.

No Prodigal you are not sicker. Something I never realized until I had been sober for some time and was already in Al-anon along with AA is that I DROVE MY LOVED ONES TO THOSE ACTIONS. It was my actions and lack of actions, it was my LOVE AFFAIR with King Alcohol. It was my lack of caring and understanding, it was me. It was Al-anon where I learned that I couldn't control or change anyone but me.

You see you are getting better. You recognize your actions now. You do them much less than you used to, and let's face it, if the control issue rears its head once in a while its usually for a good cause, rofl in this case, your lawn and yard work DID GET DONE. If it confuses him, oh well, he so confused anyway, it won't last long, lol.

Just remember, be we alkie/addict/codie or all 3, lol we don't get better over night. It progress not perfection, and You my dear Prodigal are showing GREAT PROGRESS in my book.

J M H O

Love and hugs,

11-20-2006, 09:26 AM

# 25 (permalink)

Midnightfrost

Member

Join Date: Nov 2006

Location: oz

Posts: 92

Quote:

Originally Posted by FriendofBill

How about this? Take all the bottles he has hidden, and bring then right out in the open, kitchen counter, quitely, no announcement.

Everyone knows he is drinking, except he thinks he's fooling them.

We did this with my dad. . . of all things we stumbled across screwdriver mix in the garage

considering the garage was usually about 120 degrees I can't image the tang nor the vodka was very tasty. . . . Mom always screamed at him too. . . yeah dysfunctional people don't deal with each others problems well

11-20-2006, 11:39 AM

# 26 (permalink)

IrshIzNotSmilin

been searching for the dream

Join Date: Feb 2006

Location: Inhaling the mountain air through my mind's eye.

Posts: 240

I had a therapist once that described codie behavior as crazy making. I see this now. I am crazy making. Making me crazy. AH is probably right. I am starting trouble. He will say "Don't start trouble." Ok. I won't and if I start to detach so much that i am not starting trouble and crazy-making then I guess there will be a change. Who knows what that will bring? But I am not able to do that yet. I do get a feeling though of feeling inferior. So I guess to stop all of that I should stop the crazy making.
I thought years ago I was better and all I did was hide from the codieness. I had had so much pain and suffering I hid. I hid in a marriage with a fellow codie who made my world ok until I felt suffocated. Now, I am suffocating myself with all of the codie behavior. I hope there is progress somewhere here. Thanks for the laugh I needed the funny moments.