"spread the message, not the disease"
 

Several slogans that I learned in the 12 step meetings I attend (AA/Alanon) have been so helpful to me I thought it would be helpful perhaps for a discussion here.

When faced with an addict or alcoholic creating chaos and destruction in their own life and wanting to rescue them, I am often reminded to

"Carry the message, not the alcoholic (or addict)."

To me, this relieves me of my martyr role or from being the superwoman, responsible for another person's recovery. Each of us has our own higher power and brain and I am not responsible for their choices. Phew!

The other slogan I love is:

"Spread the message, not the disease"

That saying is very important to my recovery. When I get involved in dramas, when I make myself the center of attention by "awfulizing" how bad my problems are and how much worse they are than yours, when I take others' inventory and gossip about them, I am setting myself backwards.

So, how do you carry the message of recovery today?

morning miss communicat
i'm new in recovery.....ok...a more accurate statement would be.....i've been in al-anon for two years.....and struggle with recovery.

i have a question.....a sincere question.....when sharing ones experiences with their a, does that mean we are awfulizing? i share a lot of experiences on this board, but my intention is not to have a worse scenerio than others, but to relate to others how it made me feel, and hopefully what i did to help myself.

there are still so many angles to recovery that i am so ignorant of....i have come a long, long, way by removing the alcoholic in my life,......that deal was very hard.....but now the recovery road looks very daunting at times.....at other times, it's the best. an ebb and flow of progress, then slips.

any help would be appreciated.

blessings
jeri

Hi jeri,

I don't think there is a simple answer that would always apply to the question, but its a good thing to ask ourselves.

Maybe sometimes we are seeking attention. Maybe other times we are seeking help because we are in emotional pain. And, maybe sometimes we are putting another down and being mean.

I know I am capable of ALL the above. I try to remain sensitive, to be honest, and most of all, I am working on not overdoing my self important emotional reality to the point of hurting myself or others.

I know that change is hard. I find changing codie relationships tougher than quitting drinking. Much more so.

this is off topic

hey miss
i just noticed that your stats on this page say 999 posts.....just one more to make break into the thousand mark.....congrats!!!!!

jeri

woooo hoooo!!!!!!

this is it! 1000

Thanks for the awareness. I never looked at that.

to spread the message today, instead of the disease i will:

1. try to offer only words of encourgement to others reaching out
2. try to remember when i was there, and what i needed, and what made me feel safe and secure.....although it may be different from what someone else may need....i will share what helped me
3. accept that i will have good days and bad days and that it's ok. on bad days, i will try to reach out to someone.......on good days i will rejoice

jeri

So, jeri,

One quick other thought about your question.

My Alanon sponsor often says "life is hard, but drama and suffering are optional"

We talk about how I need to sacrifice (her word, not mine) my feelings of anger, resentment, irritation, impatience, etc "for the benefit of the greater good", and that in order to do that it helps to turn them over to my higher power. While that is hard to do, often the willingness to let go allows the situation to improve.

Whatever the situation was. Hope that may help in some way.

awesomE!!!

I will try to be willing, open and kind today

:e025: :ValA006: :a122: to miss communicat!!!!!

just think of all those you may have helped with all those posts!!!!

congrats again
blessings
jeri

I am "bothered" by the comments/inventory of "our own" on this board! I know it is open, and we each have our own opinions/thoughts, but it has made it a place of concern when a member tries to inventory another here. Then, I try to ask myself is this inventory or true interest?

mazey,

questioning is good. it means we are teachable.

thanks!

I am going to try to surround myself with people with positive energy and I will try to be a positive energy for someone else. I would also like to remind those newly detached people to celebrate Thanksgiving by having the biggest piece of pumpkin pie. Why? How many years have you had to leave before the pie got served? I think it would so nice if this Thanksgiving as we all eat our pie, we remember each other and give thanks for the friends we have met here. I hope you will all entertain the idea of leaving the table last instead of first, that piece of pie you eat represents the first of many wonderful holidays. It could easily be assumed that the husbands and wives of alcoholics don't like pie.

Sharing the experiences - good!
Droning on and on, pointing the finger at all HIS wrongs - awfulizing.