marriedithink

I have been thinking alot about how to makes things easier for myself? I am getting no cooperation. No money. I have all the debt. The temporary hearing for our divorce isn't until January, I firmly believe he will be gone by then (leaving state). I also believe that there is a good chance he will eventually be incarcerated ( honestly I'm surprised he isn't yet). If he were to get arrested before he had a chance to leave town it would make things so much easier for me. If he has a chancce to leave it will make things unbelievably difficult for me. A couple of people have told me I should contact the parole officer and tell him whats going on, even make an anonymous call and get it over with. I know that I am not capable of doing this. I would just like some feed back from other people. Would you make the call? Like I said I won't, I know that but I would be interested to see how all of you would handle it?

denny57

It would be self-serving manipulation on my part. No, I wouldn't do it.

best

No money...all the debts...
Don't want to call...


What will calling fix? He goes to jail...you still have no money and all the debts.
He leaves the state... you still have no money and all the debts.

You get to court... you still have no money and all the debts.
The judge says...he must pay for this or that... Unless the judge can force him to write checks... you still have all the debt.

I think the best thing to do.... continue working on "Your" life and start handling things as though he is in jail or out of state right now. Come court time...things could improve per a judges order but things will have already improved because of what you have already done for "yourself".

marriedithink

Again, I couldn't. I guess I didn't give enough information. If he leaves he will take our pick-up, and the business which includes another vehicle and machinery. Stuff that is going to be at issue in court because I have paid for these things. I don't want the business but I do want the truck. I could sell and that would help me. I don't think I'm going to get any help from him no matter where he is but if he went back to prison I could then sell whatever I needed to.

marriedithink

Self serving I can see but manipulation?

best

The truck...
Your honor...I need thr truck to work, no truck no money.
OK truck is no longer included in things.
The truck... registered in his name or your name? Your name, he can't take it.
The truck...payments in his name or your name? Both... if he keeps it, he needs take your name off of it.
The truck and tools can be manipulated past the judge.
A business... a lawyer would work things out 50/50. he would buy you out.

The best things you can do...talk with a lawyer and deal with your life as though he is already in jail or out of state.
Take care of you no matter what he does or doesn't do.
A lawyer could guide you on how to get your named removed from his debts as well.

marriedithink

The truck is paid for, title is my name first. Registered in my name. Paid for with funds from a refinance of my house which is in my name only. Thankfully we don't have any joint credit card accounts and a spouse can't be held responsible for that.

marriedithink

As far as using a lawyer for any of this...I plan to but we don't go to court until January. He'll be gone.

Cynay

You dont know that for sure.... I would proceed as if he will be there.... Also he does not have to be there for the judge to award you the divorce and all you ask for.

He should not be able to take the truck. You might want to check out having it towed to your home... and take possion of it now. The business... Well what do the taxes say the company earned last 2 or 3 years.... He should have to buy you out on that... do you have all the records?

Also Kids? Cant remember but if so get the child support set and hand it over to the state child support enforcement. You may get nothing for now... but 10 years from now if he owns anything they will put a lean on it and do all the legal ... wont cost you and some states will not issue a new license if back childsupport is outstanding

Manuplate.... well you are "forcing" a result that you want by making that call.

denny57

I meant manipulation of a situation, not a person. Sorry I wasn't clear.

Can't you go in ex parte prior to January and prevent him from taking those things? That's what I did.

best

Then he can't take it. It is your truck by law.

For him to take it, it would be a stolen vehicle (taken without permission)

prodigal

I agree w/Denny on this one. Go to court prior to January to assure that what is in your name stays with you. Best is absolutely right - if his name is not on a title or deed, then it belongs to YOU.

marriedithink

I'll have to look into that.


Thanks for replying, I guess i'm frustrated by the whole thing. I wouldn't make the call, and I wanted to see if other people agreed. I will deal with whatever I have to.

To be honest I was kind of relieved when I heard he was leaving. I'm sure everyone can relate, things have been rough lately and it's been one thing after another.

marriedithink

Just a reminder to everyone though, if he leaves the state he will not be applying for anew license or paying taxes or doing anything legally. He will be considered a fugitive. He will be on the run. That's the only reason I do believe he will be gone.

marriedithink

I am not considering making the call. I just wanted opinions about it I think to see if my own reaction to the suggestion was off. I still am not always confident in my thinking and have really come to rely on this site and everyone for honest opinions and as a way to be able to gage my own reactions.

denny57

If you ex parte, you remove the chaos in your life. If you let him become a "fugitive" the chaos and drama remain. It's all about choices.

Hope it all goes well.

HolyQow

It all comes down to money. My theory is, it takes $35 to get married, and $35000 to get divorced.

You said your name is on the title first....ok. But does that mean his name is ALSO on there? If so, you still own half of it, no matter who paid.

Your home is in your name. The loan you got, with home as collateral, did he also sign this loan??? If so, he owns half of the debt. Was this loan obtained while married, or before?? He still owes half of it, if you were married at the time.

As for the house, how long were you married? Did he make any of the house payments? It's safe to say, that if you go after half of his vehicles, and the business, he would also be entitled to half of the home. I suggest checking with an attorney, who can show you the actual numbers on paper, to decide if it is worth it to go after him or not. I assumed alot of debt when I got divorced, and was happy about it, because my main goal was to be divorced. I had to buy out ex, for my half of the house. My half of his pension was subtracted from that total. We were married 17 yrs.

You might be able to file for some type of bankruptcy, or lower payments. I would also get a lawyer for that.

denny57

You can get an hour consultation with an attorney for free

cinderellawkids

In my experience, even if you call a PO, evenif you tell the police where he can be found they do nothing, fugitive warrant or not. But sooner or later he wil get picked up. My husband was picked up walking down the street. They called him over to ask if he'd seem somebody he panicked and ran. I know another guy that was picked up only because the guy he was ina car with had a tag light out, for the heck of it they IDed everyone

embraced2000

hi married
i would not make the call to police. that doesn't mean i haven't done it in the past, tho. but i learned.

i learned that xah didn't need any help from me to crash and burn all by himself. the end result is the same...eventually he will run out of chances with the law and they will catch up with him. in the meantime, you can be avoid the chaos by taking care of the things over which you have control and stay in peace in serenity. things like denny mentioned....a free lawyer consultation.....gathering all your legal papers....saving money.....searching out legal assistance at reduced rates.....etc.

good luck
blessings
jeri