update
 

Haven't posted in about a month...
I'm safe and still living at my parents' house. I know I'll be able to have my own place again, but it's not my time, yet. I've accepted I need to relax and enjoy my family instead of stressing that I need to find somewhere else to live. They want me here and want me to start living for myself again. I've been putting pressure on myself to have everything I used to, but I had to make changes. I can't beat myself up any longer for leaving a bad situation that would get worse.

Confession time...I had a couple of setbacks by seeing my ex a couple of times just for the physical need. I left a couple of messages over the weekend, but he never called back. My first thoughts were...something's wrong. Then I decided no, nothing's changed. I was putting myself out there when convenient for him, but that's not working for me. Guess I wanted to prove something to myself. I proved to myself I need no contact.

So, I begin again... The focus is back on me.

Hi Aztchr!

We live and learn! And then we strive for progress. But I couldn't have made any progress without the help of the 12-Step programs.

Keep coming back to share, okay?

Hugs,
Luv2All

morning aztchr
hey!!!!!! so glad to hear your safe and beginning your journey of self-discovery, and self-health.

i've done that kind of meeting with xah too in the past......even snuck around and met him so my friends and family wouldn't know.....now, here's a 53 year old woman, SNEAKING around for a rendezvous!!!!!

i did it.....till i didn't. it took a few times (OKAY! OKAY!....maybe 10 times.....geeezzzz.....this honesty thing that al-anon shoves down my throat!!!!.....(thanks guys...I LOVE YOU!!!!) for me to see nothing was any different cept the waters were getting muddier.

you will accumalte "things" again......how wonderful to be able to do it in sanity and serenity.

hang in there
blessings to you
jeri

I think it's a part of the process. I think you go back until you regret it as you leave. Part of it is familiarity and part of it is habit. Maybe part of it has something to do with taking what you want and leaving he rest. Just be careful that you don't wind up "on-call". He'll have a better deal than he had. I also think we need to take the help seriously that we are given. Your parents are happy you are there because they want to help you build a new life, not cave into the old one.

Not too worry I did it too.... Even "snuck" him in my bedroom over the balcony so my daughter would not know.... (YEA.... SO IM SICK TOO, was kinda fun though) anyway....

All part of the process, I stopped when I figured out it was nothing but sex, I still did not mean anything to him on a deeper level. In fact it hurt me more then helped me cuz then I realized how much I did not mean to him. He could get I was giving anywhere..... for that matter what I was receiving I could have gotten anywhere too.

Good to see you back and living for yourself again