An excellent resource for co-dependents..
 

I have just read a free ebook entitled 'Alcoholic Relationship Survival Guide'. The authors are Doug and Tracy Kelley. It is almost 200 pages and I have read it in two days. It is most insightful and helpful and I highly recommend it to anyone who hasn't yet stumbled across it. It was written by two recovering co-dependents. Donations are requested for the download but only if desired, it's not obligatory. I cannot disclose the website as I haven't posted 15 times here yet (a requirement I am told) but I am sure that if googled it will come up. It's is such an enlightening book and will help many people see clarity in their own personal non-alcoholic/alcoholic situations.

http://www.empoweredrecovery.com

Thanks.

Thanks. I haven't read this for awhile and I've been looking at it off and on all afternoon. Lots of food for thought.

but when I download the ebook....it has no idea what type of file it is....and can't open it.

Try to do a file association and open it with Adobe Reader or Adobe Acrobat.

Just right click on the file and select open with, then choose program

I first opened the book on line and then saved it using the disc icon on the left... on to my desktop. This appeared as a pdf file that i could open easily. It is a great book to read.....

Some of the most valuable things for me were:
1) When intoxicated the alcoholic loses his/her inhibitions and shows their TRUE colours.
2) If you don't leave the alcoholic relationship now, you will have to at some stage later... or die. By this he also means that unless the alcoholic recovers, you do have to leave.. and he is quite right. He explains why very well.
3) Is alcoholism a disease or an addiction? He likes to call it a disorder... and I totally agree. Their disorder became our disorder.
4)You owe the alcoholic nothing! He/she owes you something that can never be repaid: Your time wasted in a toxic relationship. He/she has robbed you of your dignity and self-esteem.

He doesn't mince his words... this man had 40 years of co-dependence and he took the trouble to write this book and offer it free to all of us. It really opened my eyes to the truth and the facts we face in our lives... and I am so glad I am no longer in that toxic, abusive relationship and can begin to heal and get on with my life.

I URGE EVERYONE HERE TO READ IT...

Earthsong, interesting comment about the true colors. If I remember correctly, it's the direct opposive in Under the Influence--when a person is intoxicated, all you see is the booze speaking and NOT the true person. The true person comes out when alcohol/drug is out of the system. Hmmm...who to believe and what to think...

This has been on my mind lately as I sometimes get involved in the debates over which "program" is the best.

My take on it is the more information, the better. Alanon certainly has some good points, Empowered Recovery also has good points, different books by different authors are also helpful each in their own way.

The bottom line is that no one source has all the answers for me. There is no be-all, end-all solution. I am ever evolving and learning. What helped me last year may not be so helpful this year. What I didn't agree with or understand when I was first exposed to it, I may get something helpful out of today.

I have a therapist who has been extremely helpful to me and my family for the past 6 months, but I am feeling at a point where I am outgrowing her. The wisdom she has shared with me has helped me to get to this point, now I need something more. I don't know yet what that something is, but I must keep learning and growing. I am ready for the next part of my journey, the one that never ends----life.

Take in all the information you can get, but don't forget to pass it through your own filters before you decide. I know it's tempting to look for "answers" from outside, but the answers are within. Nourish your mind with information, but make your own decisions. This is what I have learned.

L