All so sad.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: canada
Posts: 16
MLALOK-You posted earlier that you missed his arms around you. I know I will never find someone that I love like I do My husband. I miss the same thing and its only been since Thursday night. Weekend was drunk and or/hungover and I left yesterday.I'm going to look for the sticky that helped you. Good luck and Thank You. Hugs
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: UK
Posts: 39
Hope it helps you too, scared and sad.
Tomorrow night, 1st time, I'm going to talk to a psychotherapist. I'm finding I'm so viciously angry, think because I'm not letting the grief out, so it's manifesting in other, unhealthy ways.
I've never been to counselling before, but then I've never felt so low and helpless as I did losing him.
I guess the best policy is complete honesty, but I'm very nervous. Don't want to betray my man. He's not here to defend himself.
Tomorrow night, 1st time, I'm going to talk to a psychotherapist. I'm finding I'm so viciously angry, think because I'm not letting the grief out, so it's manifesting in other, unhealthy ways.
I've never been to counselling before, but then I've never felt so low and helpless as I did losing him.
I guess the best policy is complete honesty, but I'm very nervous. Don't want to betray my man. He's not here to defend himself.
Member
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Southern Wisconsin
Posts: 378
I'm very sad for the loss of your man. This may sound strange but I think in one way you're fortunate to not have known about his disease. I've lost relatives to alcohol. My cousin, who was a beautiful girl and brilliant artist when sober, died at 45 from liver failure. I didn't know her well at all but my mom was very close to her mom and so I heard a lot about the life of an alocholic and how it affects loved ones. It's a terrible disease that usually manages to affect ones partner as much as the alcoholic.
I'm here because I've been involved with an alcoholic partner myself. It really helps to read these stories. The people here are amazing. The stories can be gutwrenching like yours.
You sound like a very warm person. If you had known of the disease you'd have tried to help him like many of us. In my experience I believed that my man just needed love and someone who understands him. Sadly love is not enough to conquer alcoholism.
It's a little hard to relate to you experience because you didn't know he was an alcoholic but I bet you're finding out more and more the similarity's that seem to exist amoung A's. I find I read alot about those who've had terrible childhoods and parents that were A's. That they are often really charming and hilarious. Often extremely intelligent. Emotional and sweet (at times). Then there are the darker common threads which we all know about, lying, manipulation, needy, childish tantrums, even unexplainable anger.
I hope you post about your therapy.
I'm here because I've been involved with an alcoholic partner myself. It really helps to read these stories. The people here are amazing. The stories can be gutwrenching like yours.
You sound like a very warm person. If you had known of the disease you'd have tried to help him like many of us. In my experience I believed that my man just needed love and someone who understands him. Sadly love is not enough to conquer alcoholism.
It's a little hard to relate to you experience because you didn't know he was an alcoholic but I bet you're finding out more and more the similarity's that seem to exist amoung A's. I find I read alot about those who've had terrible childhoods and parents that were A's. That they are often really charming and hilarious. Often extremely intelligent. Emotional and sweet (at times). Then there are the darker common threads which we all know about, lying, manipulation, needy, childish tantrums, even unexplainable anger.
I hope you post about your therapy.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: UK
Posts: 39
Thanks Sketscher, yes as you say, the people here are amazing. Ive found it so helpful. I'm so sorry to hear your story of your beautiful cousin and your man. Are you still together?
Its such an evil disease. I wonder if the alcoholic in some way 'enjoys' (maybe not the right word) the power of effecting their loved ones.
Tonight was my 1st therapy session. Interesting. I didn't even cry, and thought I would sob and sob, but not a tear, just talk. I've decided I have to be completely honest, which is difficult, as I think I've distorted reality, not sure. I know I'm so tired now. Feel I've been put on the rack.
It's not just me who is shocked about my man. Other people too, are amazed at his death. I know he was so well thought of professionally, so it's not me just being thick. TOUGH.
Its such an evil disease. I wonder if the alcoholic in some way 'enjoys' (maybe not the right word) the power of effecting their loved ones.
Tonight was my 1st therapy session. Interesting. I didn't even cry, and thought I would sob and sob, but not a tear, just talk. I've decided I have to be completely honest, which is difficult, as I think I've distorted reality, not sure. I know I'm so tired now. Feel I've been put on the rack.
It's not just me who is shocked about my man. Other people too, are amazed at his death. I know he was so well thought of professionally, so it's not me just being thick. TOUGH.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Starting over all over again
Posts: 4,426
Originally Posted by queenteree
The excerpts from Under the Infuence are in the alcoholism section of soberrecovery.com. It's under the sticky saying "excerpts from under the influence". It is very informative. Much hugs to you MLALOK. I hope you find the answers to whatever you are seeking.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html
Mike
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
