Teggie

When I first began my recovery I went through the first 2 steps rather easily but really got hung up on step 3. In fact I have been away for awhile, have just recently came back and now I feel the need to start at the beginning. I'd like to see other peoples thoughts and insights about the steps.

So goes Step 1:

"We admitted we are powerless over Alcohol, that our lives have become unmanagable."


What does this mean to you? Let's talk!

Teggie

Cynay

For me it comes down to:

I admitt Im powerless over the alcoholic and that my life has become unmanagable.

Im powerless over people, places and things.

My reactions and sickness make my life chaos and Im sick and tired of being sick and tired.

Pick-a-name

I thought I had "admitted I was powerless", and have found myself back there more than once....logically I admitted it before more denial fell away and I had to re-accept it. When my AH chose alcohol over our marriage and family,I had to re-accept it all over again (as I still somewhere thought that those two things might still be more powerful...but they weren't,it seems). Denial is dropping like the skin on an onion for me...and each time I return in some way back to start over again at step one (at least in that particular area). That's how it's been working for me over the months.

HolyQow

Apparently still in denial (me).
I don't think alcohol has any power over me. I think it has a firm grip on AH. My life is not 'unmanagable', and I don't let alcohol dictate how I live my life. So denial?

Minx1969

It helps me to look up the definitions:

Powerlessness: Lacking strength or power; helpless and totally ineffectual.
Lacking legal or other authority.

Unmanageable: Difficult or impossible to manage, as:
Not submitting to discipline; unruly: an unmanageable child.
Difficult to keep under control or within limits: unmanageable traffic congestion.
Awkward; unwieldy: unmanageable bundles.


I was powerless over alcohol and the alcoholic (and everyone in general)..I could not make him do what I wanted. I couldn't control him. I couldn't make him treat me better..I was powerless.

how was my life unmanageable? I was obsessed..All I did was think about my "him"..what was he doing, how much was he drinking, who was he with?

I was stressed out, overeating, crying all the time, not focusing on my job (to the point of almost losing it). I had no sense of "self".

So yeah..my life was unmanageable.

Teggie

This was the first and the hardest step for me. It took me years literally to accept this step.

By admitting my life was in chaos and that I was powerless over (insert appropiate addict here) 's drinking/using I had to admit I was accepting of the three C's:

I didn't cause it.

No but I was surely enabling it! My reactions were enabling the addiction and the disease was affecting me as badly as if I was the one with the habit. The addict became my habit, my drug of choice. And I was feeding it every chance I got, I just didn't see it that way.

I can't control it.

I was all about control! To give up my delusion of control was terrifying because my perceived "control" was the only thing fueling me. To give it up entailed me becoming vulnerable and lowering my defenses. I honestly feared going crazy if I gave up my delusion of control.

I can't cure it.

I had always thought that there wasn't anything I could accomplish if I tried hard enough. To accept the fact I could'nt somehow cure the problem meant to me that I was a failure.


So there I was, a complete mess. When I finally accepted the fact that I didn't cause it, I couldn't cure it & I could'nt control it I became aware of a sense of peace beginning, just a tiny little light at first that slowly began to get brighter and brighter. I call that light hope. Hope for me that there was a way to restore the peace and serenity I so wanted and needed in my life.

So my journey began, I was terrified and emoitionally open, to give up that delusion of control was a huge step for me. I was unsure of myself at every turn. When I gave up my delusions I was forced to deal with the real issue, me. I had to see that I was my problem and I was the only one who could do anything about it.

Hugs,
Teggie

HolyQow

Everyone keeps saying "was".....

So maybe at one time that was me, but not now. So I am either way past that step or completely in the dark.

Quit making me think so much!

Minx1969

well..My life still can be unmanageable..I just don't have an alcoholic in my life anymore.

I still use Step 1 on a daily basis.

The woman in the cube next to me that likes to gossip and create chaos - I'm powerless over her or what she says about me or what other people think.

My bf parent's are talking to me or him and won't have Thanksgiving with me and my family.

Well..I'm powerless over them as well.

But if I don't detach and let people live their lives and focus on my own, well. my life quickly becomes unmanageable again.

I can easily get into "stinking thinking" and resentments over how life SHOULD be..

rather then how it is today.

I can easily go down the path of unmanageability without my program.

mfisher

The first step is really hard because I was trying to control the situation, so powerless just didn't fit.
I was in control, I had the power, I made everthing perfect. I paid the bills, drove the car, raised the kids, did the shopping, dumped the bottles when I found them, on and on and on right into insanity.
What I realized is that nothing changed, he didn't change and I was tired of the control and power. Eventually I became tired and powerless, my life became unmanagable. That was the first step for me.
We have to reach the first step before we can accept it, and you are the only one to know when you get there.