First Al-Anon Meeting

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10-24-2006, 06:05 AM

# 21 (permalink)

AllTooSober

Practicing the lion's roar

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Join Date: Oct 2006

Location: Minneapolis

Posts: 291

Quote:

Originally Posted by HolyQow

That's how it starts. Very subtle. As if he isn't really accusing you of anything. Then you start questioning yourself. "Maybe I was too nice to that guy" "Maybe the guy in the elevator had cologne on" "Maybe I was at the store longer than I thought" So he puts the doubt there, then goes and does whatever the heck he wants to do, and if you should even try to ask him where he has been, he will bring up every single one of these old accusations. He does not want any blame placed on him, it will all shift to you. A few comments here, a few comments there......it will all add up to ruining your self-esteem, until he can completely manipulate you and control everything about you.

I totally know what you're talking about. My ex-husband was a master at this so I know how not to react. I'm not about to start second-guessing myself again. I'm comfortable with my behavior and if he's not then he's got bigger issues than I realized.

Quote:

Originally Posted by HolyQow

About waiting until the holidays to get sober....I think the term is quack quack quack.

Oh I think so too, and it's rather pathetic to see him say such stuff and believe it. Saying "The end [of the drinking] is near, I can feel it" while he's got his third cocktail in hand... what nonsense. I've pointed this out to him before, but I won't do it anymore. If the man's in denial nothing I say will snap him out of it.