OT - Need advice

Old 10-20-2006, 07:21 PM
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OT - Need advice

EEEK, another post. Sorry! But I need some of your expert advice on this rather OT subject.

Since I've been living in this city, I have had several guys talking to me. They have been in situations where I will see the person again (work, social groups, etc), so I can't just blow it off. What I'm wondering is what I should say to them. I don't want to say, "Oh, hey, by the way, I'm separated from my husband but married nonetheless, so don't talk to me" if they are really just talking to me as a friend. But if someone is interested in me, or might be, I don't want to continue talking to them under the guise of me being interested and available. Do you know what I mean??? I just think it sounds presumptious to say up front that I'm not available. What if they weren't interested in the first place? What if they just wanted to be friends? Any good upfront lines/answers for me??
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Old 10-20-2006, 07:46 PM
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Would you assume this of every female that talked to you? Why even sweet this until the man makes it clear that is what he wants. If I assumed that every man that talked to me or was nice to me wanted to jump my bones and told him no i can't talk to you because i am married , I would miss out on having some of the best friends i know.
Not all men are dogs. Chill and make some friends...............
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Old 10-20-2006, 07:59 PM
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Have you taken off your wedding ring? In any case I wouldn't be jumping into any conversations that required that I share my status at the moment. Too much information. You are married until you aren't.
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Old 10-20-2006, 08:12 PM
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You could make an off-hand comment like, "My husband blah,blah,blah( something ""normal" and a passing comment) to just put his existence "out there". I have been known to do that when I was dating, married and married and separated. It isn't awkward that way; no matter if they are just being friendly or "fishing" about something else. Has worked for me.

Last edited by Pick-a-name; 10-20-2006 at 08:39 PM.
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Old 10-20-2006, 08:33 PM
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Think Pick has an excellent idea. I think I would wear my wedding rings untill I was divorced. Don't give the guys hope. I have seen your picture girl. They probably all drool. (SMILE) So as long as I could legally wear that ring I would.
If you left them back with him I'd get a plain gold band, can sell it later for gold content. (Please don't get out of one mess into another!) YET
All of us enjoy flirting, young. old, male and female. Just watch the HALT thing. Don't get too Hungry, too Angry,too Lonely or too Tired. Any of those things mess up our feelings and thinking.
You can do this too.! LV YA
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Old 10-20-2006, 09:52 PM
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I'm going to recommend contrary thinking and acting. Talk to them like potential friends, not potential mates. Assume nothing. Have fun.
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