Hurting Inside

My mom is coming home tomorrow. Im happy that shes coming home, but i also wish she wasnt coming home. It has been so peaceful. I dont know. I feel so incredibly low for saying i dont want her to come home. I feel like its gonna be so much more stress. Taking care of the house, makeing sure she doesnt get stressed out. I know this is gonna be really hard. Its kinda like an eating disorder, Its so easy to develop and so hard to recovery from it.

Ok so today i did go to my Guidance Cousleurs office today and the 3 years i have been in that school, i have never realized that she goes to my church. How awkward. lol i think thats just so funny. haha shows how aware i am about the people around me... Our gc are organized by last name. so according to what your last name starts with is what consleur u get. I want to talk to her, but i mean she goes to my church. She sees me every sunday at church. I dont know. Lots running through my mind right now. I know i have been to her once..for the eating disorder thing. But the whole school knows about that. But serously how could i not have noticed her at church. Im such a blonde.

I had a really good day today and hopefully tomorrow i can be this happy.
We also have a family group, where we sit in a circle with other familys and their alcoholics in their life. And just talk, of course i dont say anything, but i still go. Its that whole counsler issue i have.

Take care
Ashley

mallowcup

It's probably not that you don't want your mom to come, you don't want her to come and return to her old behaviors. You have had a taste of peace. I'm sure everyone has mixed feelings about it.

Zoey

Ashley, We get comfortable without them, easoer to go see them and leave than to have them underfoot.
Sure hope it goes well ! About the councelor, she understands all things and your conversations will be confidentual, I think the fact you go to the same church will be fine.
Family group sounds great. Keep us posted.

denny57

Just take it a day at a time, Ash, and it will be ok. Hope you decide you can talk to the counselor; if not, can you ask to be switched to another, even though your name puts you with her?

((()))