| So Confused | 10-04-2006 05:45 PM |
Lil Update
I have read so many of you that finally come to no contact. I could never have imagined "No Contact" when I found this site. I came across a post the other day titled "The pain stops" I have never read anything that explained more how I felt. It such a whirlwind that even I have hard time telling someone how sad and hurtful this can all be. I attempted for the 1000th time to explain again with new sacrifices on my part so it was easier for him lol I have to look at some of the things I did and I am astonished. I admitt he has crossed my mind on occassion but not very often. When it does I move right past it. I have spent more time and cried more tears over why and please and I love you. I guess I knew that one day I would have enough. I am focus more on the hurt and insanity. Not what I fell in love with anymore. I think he can be that person whenever he chooses. I just do not want to even think about him or any of it. Too much hurt. I am moving this weekend with like 4 days notice but why not. I have not picked up the phone or even considered it. You can rest assured he has not either I am sure he is proving another point. I am just not so sure if it ever rings that I ever need to answer it. Hanging with my friends who were understanding enough that I was back again after not being able to hang out because I was with him always. Feel wonderful a little stressed with the new job and moving but for once someone aske dme are you ok I said I did not feel that great but mentally and emotionally I was wonderful. I have not said that in a very long time. I guess i am a little shocked at how one night I just reached this point and could not do this anymore. Who knows what the future holds. However I am certain if I stayed I would have wondered forever. | 