lilac

AH has been "sweet" to me tonight. He said if an apartment is what I need, then so be it. He says he thinks I need a week away somewhere by myself.
Whatever ! ! He said he will cut back from 6 beers a night to only 4 (WTF!!)
He has begun to snoop on the neighbors with binoculars !!! Freaky !!!!
I began reading one of the books recommended to me here, and it is so me.
I don't understand why he says he doesn't want me to go, but if an apartment is what I need, then do it?

FormerDoormat

He's playing with your head, trying to manipulate you, making it seem that it doesn't matter to him that you're leaving so you'll run back into his arms and rescue him again. Reverse psychology can be pretty effective.

mallowcup

Spying on the neighbors with binoculars? That's creepy. No really, that's creepy. Why? What exactly is he looking at?

lilac

I don't know what he is looking for and I don't care.............
I think it is some type of control issue??? I don't know...........

TexasGirl

Yes, it can be. But only if you don't recognize it for what it is. My husband did this to me once in a similar situation. The first time I was "moving out" (it's in quotes because I didn't do it), he said he would help me load whatever I needed to load. He said he would help me out, that he understood. I ended up caving, and nothing ever changed with us. The second and final time I was moving out, he told me he could help me again. This time I said I didn't need it, and I just kept loading my things. I learned after the first time!!!!! If you can just see it for what it is, you will be fine.

lilac

Thanks all........This planning to move out thing is horrible ! I still haven't cancelled the lease on the apt. !!!!! Get a stomach ache everytime I eat, but haven't cancelled.

mallowcup

sorry but for the past week I've had this really weird feeling someone is looking in our windows at night. The other morning I went to use the phone and it was dead. I traced the line to the box on the side of the house and someone had unplugged the line from the box. This is the jack that clicks in place. It doesn't fall out , blow out, it has to be pinched and pulled out. I plugged it back in and the phone was fine. I think I'd have to tell them what he's doing. I don't blame you for not caring. I would appreciate it very much if you told me. Especailly if I had children in the house.

marriedithink

Reverse psychology.........isn't it lovely?!
Mine is still trying that on me. Right now we are in limbo, he hasn't moved out yet but isn't here very much. That's his latest brainstorm....Absence makes the heart grow fonder kind of thing. So clever. Sometimes all I can do now is laugh at him. It's not intentional but when I see and hear the things that used to work on me, it is truly laughable. Laughing at myself too I guess.
Good Luck!

FormerDoormat

Wow, pretty scary, Mallow. I hope you have a cell phone and always keep it close by. Can you have the phone connection moved to the inside of your garage. That's where mine is located.

kermit

Time to get that apartment

caajcd1425

I think they have some kind or radar that immediately informs them when we start to detach, or get mad, or whatever. Then they know they need to be "sweet" to reel us back in. (((Hugs))) to you and good luck with everything!

Tiffany