lilac

I am still having doubts about leaving AH and moving in the apt. that I can move into on the 14th...........I know what I should do, do o-kay at work b/c I have a really good friend there, but once I head home/get home is the problem........I told AH that I had looked at an apartment. He said alcohol was not a problem WTF!!! Said he didn't want me to go.....has offered to "buy" this and that for me. I work, I don't want anything. I have a list of therapists and am going to call today. I know that will help. Also, any books you can recommend........I am a reader. Also, any Bible verses that may help.
Love you all.

Janitw

Lilac - you will know when the time is right honey....thats about all I can say. Just remember the saying that goes: Nothing changes if nothing changes. Alcoholics have an uncanny way of keeping us held hostage all in the name of love. It held me tightly bound and would even to this day if he hadn't left us for a female alcoholic/meth head. I even entertained the idea that I could get over the hurt and pain of infidelity if only he would come home.....see how foolish this thinking was??? Denial is VERY powerful and tell me one thing Lilac...if you had a good friend and she was in your exact situation - what advice would you give your good friend? And after answering that can you take your own advice? ((((hugs))))

Janit

elizabeth1979

Theres an old saying that says,
Alcoholics don't take hostages, they take volunteers.


Problem solved..moving out pretty much accomplishes the going home thing, eh?

If you are ready..then the only thing better than a book, is one foot in front of the other

cmc

Hi,
I like the comment about what you might say to a friend in your same exact situation. I often use that myself.
One thing to remember is that you have the freedom to choose. I learned from a very wise woman that I always retain the right to change my mind. If you need to think things over and go back and forth bit on something- that is your right. Nobody else will live my life and nobody else will realize the consequences of my own choices more than I will. That is why I don't worry if I take some extra time to decide what is right for me to do.
As for Scriptures- I can tell your that there are several about how we are to pray and trust in God to direct us. How nice it would be for us to have a 'flat' answer at times that is cut and dry for our situation. Unfortunately the truths in the bible must often be applied as a whole. Were life that easy!
I hope you will get the answers you seek- and pray to find.

Cynay

You know something to think about as well ...

Your moving does not have to mean the end of the relationship if your not ready to let that go... Moving could be just space so you can get your thoughts together.

I know that Im starting to see things much different today regarding my ex-bf then I did when I was with him everyday.... Sometimes we might just need some distance to get things straight in our head.