I hate the truth
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Recoveryville, USA
Posts: 1,297
I hate the truth
so please....whatever you do....
do not ever tell it like it is...
please continue to pat me on the head everytime I repeat the same old destructive behavior, try to beg someone to love me, enable the alcoholic to the tune of losing my serenity, sanity, money, life, return to the same relationship that nearly cost me my life, ruined my self-esteem and made me feel like a nothing.
do not ever tell me that I have a part in all my troubles, that I am a major contributor to my own unhappiness, that by not taking suggestions of other recovering people I am being arrogant and unwilling.
and please.....what ever you do, do not tell me I have to take positive constructive actions like joining Alanon, working the steps, getting s sponsor, helping my fellows in this world to heal from the horrific side effects of someone else's alcoholism.....
don't you know, when HE gets sober, I will be ok?
do not ever tell it like it is...
please continue to pat me on the head everytime I repeat the same old destructive behavior, try to beg someone to love me, enable the alcoholic to the tune of losing my serenity, sanity, money, life, return to the same relationship that nearly cost me my life, ruined my self-esteem and made me feel like a nothing.
do not ever tell me that I have a part in all my troubles, that I am a major contributor to my own unhappiness, that by not taking suggestions of other recovering people I am being arrogant and unwilling.
and please.....what ever you do, do not tell me I have to take positive constructive actions like joining Alanon, working the steps, getting s sponsor, helping my fellows in this world to heal from the horrific side effects of someone else's alcoholism.....
don't you know, when HE gets sober, I will be ok?
Wipe your paws elsewhere!
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 3,672
You know when the truth really stinks? Every time I get on the bathroom scale.
But I found a way to tip the scale in my benefit--a dieter's form of denial, if you will: If I lean to the left or the right, I can lose an imaginary 20 pounds. And if I place the scale on the first floor, rather than the second or third floor, I'll lose another few imaginary pounds.
Yep, denial is a powerful--and sometimes quite creative--tool. Yep, I'm 5'3" and 120 lbs. (cough, cough)!
But I found a way to tip the scale in my benefit--a dieter's form of denial, if you will: If I lean to the left or the right, I can lose an imaginary 20 pounds. And if I place the scale on the first floor, rather than the second or third floor, I'll lose another few imaginary pounds.
Yep, denial is a powerful--and sometimes quite creative--tool. Yep, I'm 5'3" and 120 lbs. (cough, cough)!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Keepin' my side of the litterbox clean
Posts: 2,136
Whew - major truths spoken in your post. This has given me pause to reflect and examine my life with an A. Why the heck do they always make a major turn around and suck up to us when they realize we are sincere about leaving? Jeesh - this is a major drain on our own personal resoures!
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Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: OHIO
Posts: 959
This makes you wonder what life was like before we met our alcoholic spouses it forces me to remember really remember was I always codie or was it a learned behavior. Great post. For me it was learned definitely. And it can be UNlearned.....
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: nowheresville
Posts: 872
Well I don't wonder what my life was like because I've never had someone in my life who didn't drink and or wasn't a total sick wacko. So I don't know what life could be like with out one.
Ngaire
Ngaire
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Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Green,green grass of home
Posts: 600
Personally ive never believed that recovery programs are there for me to tell you anything,but to guide you through the steps,and share my e,sand hope with ya,.
Besides if i tell you what i think the truth for you is according to my own preceptions,you will not heed it until you are ready to.I just dont have that power to make anyones recovery quicker,and in the time that i think that they need to get it.It all happens in Gods time,not mine.
In the meantime,i want to have empthy,and compassion,for those still suffering,as others have had it for me.Those who witnessed me stumble and fall and get up and start doing the work that needs to be done for my own recovery,im in awe of them today.They never held any guns to my head.lol
Besides if i tell you what i think the truth for you is according to my own preceptions,you will not heed it until you are ready to.I just dont have that power to make anyones recovery quicker,and in the time that i think that they need to get it.It all happens in Gods time,not mine.
In the meantime,i want to have empthy,and compassion,for those still suffering,as others have had it for me.Those who witnessed me stumble and fall and get up and start doing the work that needs to be done for my own recovery,im in awe of them today.They never held any guns to my head.lol
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Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Recoveryville, USA
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Originally Posted by Grasshopper
Personally ive never believed that recovery programs are there for me to tell you anything,but to guide you through the steps,and share my e,sand hope with ya,.
Besides if i tell you what i think the truth for you is according to my own preceptions,you will not heed it until you are ready to.I just dont have that power to make anyones recovery quicker,and in the time that i think that they need to get it.It all happens in Gods time,not mine.
In the meantime,i want to have empthy,and compassion,for those still suffering,as others have had it for me.Those who witnessed me stumble and fall and get up and start doing the work that needs to be done for my own recovery,im in awe of them today.They never held any guns to my head.lol
Besides if i tell you what i think the truth for you is according to my own preceptions,you will not heed it until you are ready to.I just dont have that power to make anyones recovery quicker,and in the time that i think that they need to get it.It all happens in Gods time,not mine.
In the meantime,i want to have empthy,and compassion,for those still suffering,as others have had it for me.Those who witnessed me stumble and fall and get up and start doing the work that needs to be done for my own recovery,im in awe of them today.They never held any guns to my head.lol
If I dont ask others to help me see it like it is, then I will continue to see it like "I" is - sick.
Did I hit a sore spot within you with my original post?
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Join Date: Mar 2005
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The truth hurts, thats why I lived in denial for so long. When the pain got enough, I sought help...thru others in the fellowship. If i dont give credence to thier words of recovery, then I will continue to live in denial.
And what did that ever get me? A lot of pain and misery.
And what did that ever get me? A lot of pain and misery.
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Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Green,green grass of home
Posts: 600
Hi again,no Friend of Bill you did not hit any nerves in me.I find that folks misunderstand what the program.,of recovery is.Although its a we program,no where does it say that im to tell you like i think it is.Im to guide folks,in the steps,and share.In AA im warned to never talk down to another.And yet i hear and see it all the time.Folks beating another over the head,because that person just isnt doing what they think that they should be doing.Maybe recovery HAS,changed,but me,im a sticking to da books,and the way it tells me to help another.
Thanks for reading ,
Thanks for reading ,
the girl can't help it
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: splendraville
Posts: 5,599
I gotcha ((((***)))
don't stop me from doing the samething over and over expecting to get a different result cause I hate the truth too...
let me be the one that everyone rolls their eyes up in discust at meetings, let me be the one that people say there goes my meeting today, let me continue to bare my cross and be a continual victum CAUSE I JUST CAN'T GET IT!!
Cause I just hate the truth so much it took me a year to work the first step. My sponcer hung the phone up on me so many times that first year I am surprized that I have the nerve to still send her an e-mail everyday. My call list looks like something the dog did his business on after I spilled coffee and driped my stupid tears all over it.
God knows I crawled over 20 miles of broken glass and razor wire all by myself that first year and for the most part it was me sitting with the alcohol swabbs tending to my own wounds. While everybody just stood on the sidelines saying oh God here she comes again I know some of their prayers actually pulled me through especially my sponcers very special prayer: Oh God! she's getting on my nerves again!!
don't stop me from doing the samething over and over expecting to get a different result cause I hate the truth too...
let me be the one that everyone rolls their eyes up in discust at meetings, let me be the one that people say there goes my meeting today, let me continue to bare my cross and be a continual victum CAUSE I JUST CAN'T GET IT!!
Cause I just hate the truth so much it took me a year to work the first step. My sponcer hung the phone up on me so many times that first year I am surprized that I have the nerve to still send her an e-mail everyday. My call list looks like something the dog did his business on after I spilled coffee and driped my stupid tears all over it.
God knows I crawled over 20 miles of broken glass and razor wire all by myself that first year and for the most part it was me sitting with the alcohol swabbs tending to my own wounds. While everybody just stood on the sidelines saying oh God here she comes again I know some of their prayers actually pulled me through especially my sponcers very special prayer: Oh God! she's getting on my nerves again!!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Recoveryville, USA
Posts: 1,297
Originally Posted by splendra
I gotcha ((((***)))
don't stop me from doing the samething over and over expecting to get a different result cause I hate the truth too...
let me be the one that everyone rolls their eyes up in discust at meetings, let me be the one that people say there goes my meeting today, let me continue to bare my cross and be a continual victum CAUSE I JUST CAN'T GET IT!!
Cause I just hate the truth so much it took me a year to work the first step. My sponcer hung the phone up on me so many times that first year I am surprized that I have the nerve to still send her an e-mail everyday. My call list looks like something the dog did his business on after I spilled coffee and driped my stupid tears all over it.
God knows I crawled over 20 miles of broken glass and razor wire all by myself that first year and for the most part it was me sitting with the alcohol swabbs tending to my own wounds. While everybody just stood on the sidelines saying oh God here she comes again I know some of their prayers actually pulled me through especially my sponcers very special prayer: Oh God! she's getting on my nerves again!!
don't stop me from doing the samething over and over expecting to get a different result cause I hate the truth too...
let me be the one that everyone rolls their eyes up in discust at meetings, let me be the one that people say there goes my meeting today, let me continue to bare my cross and be a continual victum CAUSE I JUST CAN'T GET IT!!
Cause I just hate the truth so much it took me a year to work the first step. My sponcer hung the phone up on me so many times that first year I am surprized that I have the nerve to still send her an e-mail everyday. My call list looks like something the dog did his business on after I spilled coffee and driped my stupid tears all over it.
God knows I crawled over 20 miles of broken glass and razor wire all by myself that first year and for the most part it was me sitting with the alcohol swabbs tending to my own wounds. While everybody just stood on the sidelines saying oh God here she comes again I know some of their prayers actually pulled me through especially my sponcers very special prayer: Oh God! she's getting on my nerves again!!
You have described someone here to a T. Some days, I fantasize about sending her an anonymous letter in the hopes that she will GET it...but then I remember Im not her HP and she did not ask for my feedback, so keep the lip zip.
I SO want her to get it...but she has to want to get it.
You have hit a pretty good nail on the head here. Who knows, maybe she reads this forum? LOL If so...."Hello L****!"
(She doesnt like me cus I once told her dogs werent allowed in our meeting, and as hers barked and growled at someone and scared the pee outta us, I had to ask her to take doggie out....maybe there is a doggie-anon?)
the girl can't help it
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: splendraville
Posts: 5,599
Originally Posted by FriendofBill
(She doesnt like me cus I once told her dogs werent allowed in our meeting, and as hers barked and growled at someone and scared the pee outta us, I had to ask her to take doggie out....maybe there is a doggie-anon?)
Cruelty-Free
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Body: South Florida Heart: Yosemite National Park
Posts: 914
Originally Posted by FriendofBill
maybe there is a doggie-anon?)
I recall reading this early in my recovery, and how deep an impact it had on me:
"When the pain is greater than the fear, only then will I make a change".
(Earnie Larsen, if memory serves...)
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