elizabeth1979

I heard that too..its a powerful saying.
As always, NCP...good to see you back
Now really, you STILL dont have a cell phone?

nocellphone

Thanks!!!


Yes, I really STILL don't own a cell phone. I also STILL don't stick hot needles in my eyes. Trust me, there is a correlation between the two...

Nice to see you, too!

deax

This is a good thread with good points all over the place. I think the complications arise in terms of taking others' advice versus learning for yourself when the person in codie-recovery has simultaneous issues of not trusing themselves, and needing external validation and approval. This is something I struggle with and that I've realized I need to incorporate into my overall recovery efforts, so in that way, in my case, not just blindly taking other people's directions on things can sometimes be a good thing. And some people here have even been the ones to help me realize that, even when I was debating an action they probably didn't agree with. So I think we need to learn to customize and find a balance in appreciating guidance but also discovering (or maybe re-discovering, for some of us) our inner voice.

I'm thinking about all the great advice I've received here since I first joined, and also my recent choice to break my own "no-contact" rule to leave a carefully consrtructed voice mail for my A. I did what felt right in my gut with that message in that situation, and I'm happy I did; my therapist agreed (see? external validation again ) and said that NOT saying my piece in the way I did might have "blocked" me in my growth, and that in terms of him it made my stance even stronger.

So I think the individual situations and people need to always be considered, and attention should be paid to the kinds of struggles each of us faces within ourselves. We all have battles on various fronts, I believe, but despite the similarities among us there are still differences-- in our personal struggles with OURSELVES and in our visions of our futures, etc.

Learning from others' ESH is a wonderful thing here and in Al-Anon has been a God-send for me; merely following directions is something different.

Thanks for a thought-provoking thread.

Zoey

deax, I agree with you, I try to add that there are exceptions in people, in relationships, etc, also we give suggestions only.
Lots of say to take what you can use and leave the rest.

We should never act in haste, learn as much as we can before making a decession.(sp)

I did like it at AA when they said, "Don't drink and go to meetings" To me it was a statement, an oppinion, suggestion, not an order. (SMILE) but it delt only with me, not my SO.

I do get bossy if there is a chance of violence.

Good topic Friend-of-Bill.

I changed the Serenity Prayer to "Accept the things I choose not to change"
thats prob hateing the truth?? Guilty here!

FriendofBill

ya mean we are not supposed to stick hot needles in our eyes?

Great. now you tell me

FriendofBill

New serenity prayer:

God,


grant me the serenity
to not kill the people
I want to change
but give me some bullets
just in case you run out of serenity to give.

Amen.

Zoey

LOL, I agree!