Birthday and no phone call shocked anyone?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Dream
Posts: 88
Birthday and no phone call shocked anyone?
The new job is going well. Things are coming together for the most part as far as I go.. Today is my birthday. Understand that i am italian and birthdays are like national holidays in my family. Although we cannot all get toghether with work we all call. I have plans with friends this weekend. However, the point of all this. I thought to my self that he I wonder if the ABF will rememeber. Although not a big deal to him he did not have much of a childhood. He is aware of how important it is to me. I almost made a pact with myself if he doesnt call then no more of this back and forth. I spoke with starting at 8:00 am until 1:00 this fternoon a total of 3-4 times. NOT ONCE DID HE MENTION it. I know he knew two days ago. Because he commented when it was. IS HE SERIOUS???? A littel upset and wondering at this point do you have anser the phone again? Kinda of a sad day.. First birthday divorced first since my geandmother passed away and first we ABF and I are again in limbo of can he be in a relationship. Kinda a lot to happena year lol. I guess there is always going to be a first just a little more sad than I remember a birthday was supposed to be. Ya know?
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: FL
Posts: 14,246
First off: Happy Birthday!!!
I don't have much to offer you about abf not wishing you a happy birthday... when things like this happen it's really difficult to know what is or isn't on the other person's mind, even moreso with someone in active addiction.
I do know that having expectations can set me up for disappointment and I have tried not to put myself in that place. Maybe you can just ask him?
Stick around as there will be others who may have more to say on this issue.
I don't have much to offer you about abf not wishing you a happy birthday... when things like this happen it's really difficult to know what is or isn't on the other person's mind, even moreso with someone in active addiction.
I do know that having expectations can set me up for disappointment and I have tried not to put myself in that place. Maybe you can just ask him?
Stick around as there will be others who may have more to say on this issue.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 3,812
Happy Birthday to you......
Happy Birthday to you......
Happy Birthday Dear SC.... Happy birthday to you!
Ok... come on, your not really telling me you expected normal behavor from an Active Alcoholic are you????
Sweetie, I know it hurts.... the exact same thing happened to me 2 years ago with my exabf..... I finally got so hurt I told him why I was hurt and the next thing I know he shows up with the only thing he could find.... A candle from the drug store.
Dont set yourself up for disapointment like that hon..... GO GO GO and have a wonderful time with your friends and today go out and buy yourself something nice for your Birthday!
Happy Birthday to you...... Happy Birthday Dear SC.... Happy birthday to you! Ok... come on, your not really telling me you expected normal behavor from an Active Alcoholic are you????
Sweetie, I know it hurts.... the exact same thing happened to me 2 years ago with my exabf..... I finally got so hurt I told him why I was hurt and the next thing I know he shows up with the only thing he could find.... A candle from the drug store.
Dont set yourself up for disapointment like that hon..... GO GO GO and have a wonderful time with your friends and today go out and buy yourself something nice for your Birthday!
Forum Leader
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: In my little piece of heaven
Posts: 2,870
Happy birthday SC ! I learned that my expectations for birthday wishes and celebrations were WAY different than my partners. I only allowed myself to be disappointed once before I started making my own plans for my special day.
I hope you're able to treat yourself to something wonderful, because you deserve it.
Cat
I hope you're able to treat yourself to something wonderful, because you deserve it.
Cat
Member
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Ohio
Posts: 2,579
SC: Happy Birthday!!
There is just no telling what to expect from an alcoholic! Actually, this year I pretty much assumed I would NOT hear from my exH (first time in 30 years)....low and behold, he was the first and almost only one who DID call me on my birthday....which is a bit odd, as he divorced me a month before. I returned an email to him that morning (he sent it the night before regarding one of our children) and no sooner did I push the "send" button, did the phone ring and it was him just calling to wish me a "happy birthday" (shocking!).....I don't recall him making a big deal over them in most of the years we were together....
About the only behavior I think you can depend on from an active alcoholic is that it is totally unpredictable....the minute you forget them/don't care...there they are! and if you are waiting for them,hoping to hear from them,etc....well; you probably won't!!
Hope you did something nice for your birthday.
There is just no telling what to expect from an alcoholic! Actually, this year I pretty much assumed I would NOT hear from my exH (first time in 30 years)....low and behold, he was the first and almost only one who DID call me on my birthday....which is a bit odd, as he divorced me a month before. I returned an email to him that morning (he sent it the night before regarding one of our children) and no sooner did I push the "send" button, did the phone ring and it was him just calling to wish me a "happy birthday" (shocking!).....I don't recall him making a big deal over them in most of the years we were together....
About the only behavior I think you can depend on from an active alcoholic is that it is totally unpredictable....the minute you forget them/don't care...there they are! and if you are waiting for them,hoping to hear from them,etc....well; you probably won't!!
Hope you did something nice for your birthday.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Nowhere TX
Posts: 60
((HUGS)) I'm sorry you're hurting, but HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
This is an AWESOME day! You KNOW this--you're fortunant to have a family that has taught you this.
I hope you don't let him get you too down, you'll give him control that way, ya know?
Mine is next week...the big three-oh. I'm excited, but then I'm weird that way. The divorce isn't final yet, he may or may not call. I've got my health, the kiddos and my chocolate cake ordered. My expectations are simply to enjoy my day to it's fullest. In my case I allowed my STBXAH to 'ruin' too much, allowed myself to be disappointed in too much. sigh.
Here's to us, sweetie. To better birthdays.
Oh and if I missed the post earlier in the year (HUGS) on your grandmother. I know how hard that is.
Best,
FA
This is an AWESOME day! You KNOW this--you're fortunant to have a family that has taught you this.
I hope you don't let him get you too down, you'll give him control that way, ya know? Mine is next week...the big three-oh.
I'm excited, but then I'm weird that way. The divorce isn't final yet, he may or may not call. I've got my health, the kiddos and my chocolate cake ordered. My expectations are simply to enjoy my day to it's fullest. In my case I allowed my STBXAH to 'ruin' too much, allowed myself to be disappointed in too much. sigh.Here's to us, sweetie. To better birthdays.
Oh and if I missed the post earlier in the year (HUGS) on your grandmother. I know how hard that is.
Best,
FA
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