Tomorrow is our wedding anniversary - dreading it!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Keepin' my side of the litterbox clean
Posts: 2,136
Tomorrow is our wedding anniversary - dreading it!!
As of Monday, AH wanted to take off work tomorrow so we could go out on our jetski and then to dinner for our anniversary. That offer came along with one of his half-a** apologies via email on Monday for going nuts on me Sunday morning. Apologies are always "I'm sorry" followed by a REASON as to why he was behaving like an idiot. This time it was "I just didn't feel very well." He felt well enough to follow me around the house, uttering swear words and telling me to "just shut up." Brother!
Bottom line: his dog has separation anxiety. We have gotten numerous complaints when on vacation because the dog barks incessently when we leave it alone. The vet put the dog on a med for the problem. Results: no more tipped-over trashcans in the house with half-chewed garbage strewn everywhere, no more hyperactivity, no more barking. Side effects: dog no longer wants to run around "zoom-zooming" and play growling when we bring out his tug toy. Also, the dog gained a few pounds.
So Sunday morning AH told me it's been bothering him for several days. He hadn't brought it up, he just simmered in his own stew to the point that he got nasty with me. I attempted a rational conversation as to how we could address the dog's separation anxiety and also how we could get the dog to quit peeing all over our new carpet in the study, or put up some sort of barrier so the dog couldn't get into that room (there is no door). The dog also hikes its legs on the furniture in that room. AH's voice became threatening and he demanded, "I WANT MY DOG BACK!" My concerns about the carpet were dismissed (like I'm surprised by that, right?). He's coming across as if I've been abusing his dog. The more rationally I tried to discuss the med & peeing issues, the more angry he got.
So tomorrow is our anniversary. I stay out of the house a lot. I go into my office and do my homework or go to the gym, having very little contact with AH. What's the point? I'm not going to get anywhere trying to discuss any of my feelings on the subject, so why bother? I'm not particularly angry about this, just sick and tired of the entire mess, thus I don't want that much contact. AH is doing his usual schmooze job: trying to suck up to me, acting as if NOTHING ever happened. And I'm dreading tomorrow. I hope he doesn't suggest putting on the "dog and pony show," which is something he's quite good at doing.
Bottom line: his dog has separation anxiety. We have gotten numerous complaints when on vacation because the dog barks incessently when we leave it alone. The vet put the dog on a med for the problem. Results: no more tipped-over trashcans in the house with half-chewed garbage strewn everywhere, no more hyperactivity, no more barking. Side effects: dog no longer wants to run around "zoom-zooming" and play growling when we bring out his tug toy. Also, the dog gained a few pounds.
So Sunday morning AH told me it's been bothering him for several days. He hadn't brought it up, he just simmered in his own stew to the point that he got nasty with me. I attempted a rational conversation as to how we could address the dog's separation anxiety and also how we could get the dog to quit peeing all over our new carpet in the study, or put up some sort of barrier so the dog couldn't get into that room (there is no door). The dog also hikes its legs on the furniture in that room. AH's voice became threatening and he demanded, "I WANT MY DOG BACK!" My concerns about the carpet were dismissed (like I'm surprised by that, right?). He's coming across as if I've been abusing his dog. The more rationally I tried to discuss the med & peeing issues, the more angry he got.
So tomorrow is our anniversary. I stay out of the house a lot. I go into my office and do my homework or go to the gym, having very little contact with AH. What's the point? I'm not going to get anywhere trying to discuss any of my feelings on the subject, so why bother? I'm not particularly angry about this, just sick and tired of the entire mess, thus I don't want that much contact. AH is doing his usual schmooze job: trying to suck up to me, acting as if NOTHING ever happened. And I'm dreading tomorrow. I hope he doesn't suggest putting on the "dog and pony show," which is something he's quite good at doing.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Starting over all over again
Posts: 4,426
Hey there Prodigal,
Tomorrow can be a special day for you if you take a little time for yourself and get outta the house. I'll be thinking of you extra special tomorrow and praying for ya.
Mike
Tomorrow can be a special day for you if you take a little time for yourself and get outta the house. I'll be thinking of you extra special tomorrow and praying for ya.
Mike
Wipe your paws elsewhere!
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 3,672
Prod, I hope you spend your anniversary doing what YOU want to do and not what you feel compelled to do. Now, regarding the separation anxiety, there are many ways to alleviate your dog's suffering besides medication. Here's a sampling:
1) Get another dog to keep him/her company. In most cases, this works like a charm.
2) Turn on the radio when you're not home.
3) If you keep your curtains/shades drawn during the day, open them. Dogs need to see sunlight and birds and bees, much like cats do.
4) Go to your grocery store's meat department and purchase some meaty soup bones (6 of them cost 17 cents) then boil them and put them in the refrigerator. Every time you leave the house, give your dog a fresh bone. Most destructive behavior occurs in the first 10-15 minutes after you leave. If he's busy enjoying his bone, he'll be less inclined to damage or eliminate himself in your home.
5) Sleep in an old t-shirt every day for a week--without washing it. Every morning when you give the dog a fresh bone, give him the t-shirt with your scent on it to remind him of you.
6) If all these methods fail, go to a health food store and buy some Rescue Remedy. It's a homeopathic remedy that we dog rescuers have used successfully to calm the nerves of some dogs with serious emotional issues. Put a few drops in his water bowl. It doesn't work on every dog, but when it does, it works like a charm. Got my Chow over her thunder storm phobia with only 2-3 doses.
Now, as for the hubby, here's my best suggestion to alleviate this problem:
1) Get rid of him!
1) Get another dog to keep him/her company. In most cases, this works like a charm.
2) Turn on the radio when you're not home.
3) If you keep your curtains/shades drawn during the day, open them. Dogs need to see sunlight and birds and bees, much like cats do.
4) Go to your grocery store's meat department and purchase some meaty soup bones (6 of them cost 17 cents) then boil them and put them in the refrigerator. Every time you leave the house, give your dog a fresh bone. Most destructive behavior occurs in the first 10-15 minutes after you leave. If he's busy enjoying his bone, he'll be less inclined to damage or eliminate himself in your home.
5) Sleep in an old t-shirt every day for a week--without washing it. Every morning when you give the dog a fresh bone, give him the t-shirt with your scent on it to remind him of you.
6) If all these methods fail, go to a health food store and buy some Rescue Remedy. It's a homeopathic remedy that we dog rescuers have used successfully to calm the nerves of some dogs with serious emotional issues. Put a few drops in his water bowl. It doesn't work on every dog, but when it does, it works like a charm. Got my Chow over her thunder storm phobia with only 2-3 doses.
Now, as for the hubby, here's my best suggestion to alleviate this problem:
1) Get rid of him!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Keepin' my side of the litterbox clean
Posts: 2,136
F.d. - Lol!!!
Love it!! I think you're absolutely right. Pity the poor dog that gets stuck with a master like my AH. And anybody who is perfectly okay living with the stench of dog urine that is permeating through the new carpet right into the carpet pad is nuts, IMO.
Getting rid of the AH is something I'm working on, but this %&$*schoolwork has me virtually tied down to the computer. I'm coming into the home stretch with 3 courses to go before I graduate. The biggest problem is that I'm going to college online. There are a lot more papers to complete, written assignments to submit, group projects to work on, etc. This is the hardest way to get a college degree. I can't just up and file for divorce, pack, move, unpack, make sure my computer is up and running (my lifeline for school), etc., and still keep up with my courses. Getting behind in an online college course is the kiss of death.
School is over for me as of December 15. Then I have six weeks to get moving on getting out.
Getting rid of the AH is something I'm working on, but this %&$*schoolwork has me virtually tied down to the computer. I'm coming into the home stretch with 3 courses to go before I graduate. The biggest problem is that I'm going to college online. There are a lot more papers to complete, written assignments to submit, group projects to work on, etc. This is the hardest way to get a college degree. I can't just up and file for divorce, pack, move, unpack, make sure my computer is up and running (my lifeline for school), etc., and still keep up with my courses. Getting behind in an online college course is the kiss of death.
School is over for me as of December 15. Then I have six weeks to get moving on getting out.
Wipe your paws elsewhere!
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 3,672
You don't have to explain your reasons to me, Prod. I was just funin' with ya with my "get rid of him" comment. Though I must admit, it was a very effective tactic for me....
December is just around the corner. A new life would make a fabulous holiday gift to yourself.
December is just around the corner. A new life would make a fabulous holiday gift to yourself.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
