Please welcome hurtsista
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Arlington Texas
Posts: 1
Hello everyone
I stubbled across this web site looking for answers on how to help my sister in law. She is addicted to drugs, lost 2 beautiful children, one to me and the other to her dads family. She has stolen my mother in laws car 4 times in the last 2 months, been to jail several times. Im scared she is going to die. If it was not for her me and my husband would never have meet. She is such a young girl. We tell her she needs help but she refuses. What Do we do with her??
I stubbled across this web site looking for answers on how to help my sister in law. She is addicted to drugs, lost 2 beautiful children, one to me and the other to her dads family. She has stolen my mother in laws car 4 times in the last 2 months, been to jail several times. Im scared she is going to die. If it was not for her me and my husband would never have meet. She is such a young girl. We tell her she needs help but she refuses. What Do we do with her??
Member
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: MO
Posts: 35
Originally Posted by hurtsista
Hello everyone
I stubbled across this web site looking for answers on how to help my sister in law. She is addicted to drugs, lost 2 beautiful children, one to me and the other to her dads family. She has stolen my mother in laws car 4 times in the last 2 months, been to jail several times. Im scared she is going to die. If it was not for her me and my husband would never have meet. She is such a young girl. We tell her she needs help but she refuses. What Do we do with her??
I stubbled across this web site looking for answers on how to help my sister in law. She is addicted to drugs, lost 2 beautiful children, one to me and the other to her dads family. She has stolen my mother in laws car 4 times in the last 2 months, been to jail several times. Im scared she is going to die. If it was not for her me and my husband would never have meet. She is such a young girl. We tell her she needs help but she refuses. What Do we do with her??
Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 3,812
Welcome to SR.... we are glad your here.
Honestly there is not alot you can do for her.... she has to find her bottom and make a choice to get sober... remembering that you did not cause it, you can not control it and you cant cure it helped me out.
You can however get some support for you and Im not sure how old the kids are but they might need some too. I have used therapy, Al-anon and SR the most... I dont currently have alcoholism in my life but I keep working on my recovery because its a family disease and Im still effected.
Keep coming back and read everything you can.... I look forward to getting to know you.
Honestly there is not alot you can do for her.... she has to find her bottom and make a choice to get sober... remembering that you did not cause it, you can not control it and you cant cure it helped me out.
You can however get some support for you and Im not sure how old the kids are but they might need some too. I have used therapy, Al-anon and SR the most... I dont currently have alcoholism in my life but I keep working on my recovery because its a family disease and Im still effected.
Keep coming back and read everything you can.... I look forward to getting to know you.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 5,075
welcome to SR, hurtsista
The best thing to do is get help for yourself. I didn't understand that when it was said to me, but I get it now. Al-Anon and therapy worked for me.
Read the stickys and keep posting. Lots of good support here and it's always nice to know you're not alone.
Take care.
The best thing to do is get help for yourself. I didn't understand that when it was said to me, but I get it now. Al-Anon and therapy worked for me.
Read the stickys and keep posting. Lots of good support here and it's always nice to know you're not alone.
Take care.
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: In Search of Finding ME!
Posts: 1,246
I'm glad that you've found SR. It's a wonderful place to be and you'll find alot of great people here.
I'd suggest that you find an Alanon meeting in your area.
I'd also suggest reading the book "Codependant No More" by Melody Beattie.
You said that you have told your sister that she needs but she refuses.
As much as you want your sister to get her life together, she's not going to do it just because someone tells her that she should. Her recovery is something that she has to want and has to work for. Often times, a person has to hit what you'll hear called "their bottom" before they finally get sick and tired of being sick and tired and begin to crawl their way back out of the addiction. But sometimes, they never do hit their bottom.
This is where you have to realize that you can't change her. You can't control her. Just as you can't control the alcoholism, you can't change it, you can't cure it and you sure didn't cause it! So, what can you do? You read and you learn all you can and you start to change yourself. The way you handle the situations, the way that you react to the situation, etc.
Please do check out the "stickies" at the top of the forum - you'll find some great information in there!
I sure hope you stick around and share your journey with us. Again, welcome to SR.
I'd suggest that you find an Alanon meeting in your area.
I'd also suggest reading the book "Codependant No More" by Melody Beattie.
You said that you have told your sister that she needs but she refuses.
As much as you want your sister to get her life together, she's not going to do it just because someone tells her that she should. Her recovery is something that she has to want and has to work for. Often times, a person has to hit what you'll hear called "their bottom" before they finally get sick and tired of being sick and tired and begin to crawl their way back out of the addiction. But sometimes, they never do hit their bottom.
This is where you have to realize that you can't change her. You can't control her. Just as you can't control the alcoholism, you can't change it, you can't cure it and you sure didn't cause it! So, what can you do? You read and you learn all you can and you start to change yourself. The way you handle the situations, the way that you react to the situation, etc.
Please do check out the "stickies" at the top of the forum - you'll find some great information in there!
I sure hope you stick around and share your journey with us. Again, welcome to SR.
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