Hurting Inside

Well my moms in the hospital...She drove drunk last night like many nights before but this time she got in a crash. The doctors say shes not doing good and she has a 50% of survival. She has internal bleeding and they also said her livers giving out on her.

I feel its my fault. I got in a huge fight with her before she left. I dont know what i will do if she passes away. If i would have just stayed in my room and said nothing this wouldnt have happened. Prayers are needed...

thanx

Ash

denny57

(((((ashley))))) sending prayers your way for you, your mom and all your family. Please try to remember it is not your fault. You are just not that powerful to make your mom drive drunk.

I am so sorry to hear you are going through this. Please take care of yourself and keep us posted when you can.

Much love, Ashley

ayla zaire

i am praying very hard for you right now...and especially your mother...
THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT!!!!it is so unfortunate that you had just had a fight with her but you are not responsable for this,sweetie... my mom drank, too and it took me a long time but i realised that nothing i could do was going to change her, she had to make that choice for herself...i really hope tomorrow you get some good news...just remember that the doctors are not always right and miracles do happen...the doctors told my dad he would only live a few years after 2 heart failures and he is still here 15 years later....and healthy as a horse....hope and faith are very important for you right now....

once again you are in my thoughts and prayers....


ayla

FormerDoormat

Sweetie, it's not your fault. Alcoholics often pick fights with their loved ones to use it as an excuse to drink. It's part of the disease and it has NOTHING to do with you or your actions.

Last year, my alcoholic boyfriend ended up in the hospital in the Intensive Care Unit and the doctors didn't expect him to live. Well, he proved them wrong. He was much stronger, emotionally and physically, than any of us gave him credit for.

If you haven't joined Alanon or Alateen, now might be a good time. It will help you get through this difficult time. Sending healing prayers for your mother and special hugs to you.

best

Ashley please understand this 100%

THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT!!!!

Prayers for you and prayers for mom as well.

CatsPajamas

Absolutely NOT your fault. Like the others before me have said, alcoholics often pick fights in order to justify their drinking. Alcoholics drive drunk because they are alcoholics and sometimes make poor decisions, NOT because someone "made" them.

Please know you and your family are in our thoughts and prayers.

Hugs
Cat

Janitw

Ashey - All the others have told you right hun. My husband drank and drove every night for 22 years and just ask him...he will tell you - it's not HIS fault. Well of course it was his fault he had choices, and hun so does your mom. THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT. (((((((Ashley))))))

Janit

DesertEyes

Hey there Ashley, I'm so sorry to hear about your Mom. I am praying for her right now and will continue to do so.

I was once the kind of alcoholic your Mom is. I used to drink and not care what I did. I haven't done that in a long time thanx to my HP. I can tell you that if your Mom had come home perfectly safe she would just go out and drive drunk again tomorrow, or the next day, or the next. Sooner or later she was going to have a big accident. You don't mention if anybody else got hurt, I hope not.

I'm sorry you are feeling responsible for what happened to your Mom. When I was young I used to feel responsible for my parents drinking. It's an awful feeling. I know you can't get rid of that feeling, it took me a long time to get rid of mine. Know that all of us here, and all the people in al-anon all over the world are here for you. You can look up al-anon in the phone book and call, there will be somebody there that has felt what you are feeling.

Hang in there Ashley, and keep letting us know how you're doing.

Mike

laurie6781

Ashley, I am sorry about your Mom.

HOWEVER, whether you stayed in your room or not, got into a disagreement with her or not, she would have found a reason to leave to go get drunker. This is what alkies do! I know.....................I was a practicing alkie for 24 years prior to getting sober, and yes it was a visit to the emergency room and dying in the ER and having the Time of Death Put on My Chart, and then my heart started on its own, and waking up on the medical floor WHEN I FINALLY GOT SOBER.

This is NOT YOUR FAULT. Please, please go to Al-ateen and talk to a counsellor in your school.

Keep posting here also, let us know how you are doing. We do care sweetie, very very much.

Prayers going out for your Mom.

Love and hugs,

mallowcup

Ashley there's no way this is your fault. Be clear about that. Alcoholics pick pick pick fights. No one can change Gods timing. Your mom has been pushing her luck for too long. You did not cause this, on fact it probably would have happened a long time ago if it were not for her family constantly watching out for her. Don't take responsiblity for a very tragic but simple truth, there is a reason they say don't drink and drive. She has done this to herself. You have absolutely nothing to do with the shape her liver is in. This whole thing could go one way or another. It came to this. She brought it to this,not you. She has had life on her terms and this is where it got her. You could have stayed in your room. Then you could have sat in the closet and then you could have hid under your bed. That would not have stopped her from drinking and driving.

cwohio

(((ashley))) prayers to you and your mom sweetie. what everyone said above is true - no matter what we say or do, we can't cause or stop their drinking. i do hope you can get to alateen and talk about this.

Grasshopper

My thoughts and prayers are with you ,your Mom and family.
Mom had choices.Mom did not "have" to drive.Was not foced to drive.Mom had many options.Mom could have gone to bed,but she chosed to drive.
Knowing this truth,will help you to know thats its not your fault.

BSPGirl

My thoughts are with you and your Mom. But I agree this is so NOT your fault. You didn't forcefeed her booze and then forced her to get behind the wheel at gunpoint, now did ya? 'twas HER decision, please take good care of yourself.



Marte

StandingStrong

Ashley, it cannot be repeated enough - this is NOT your fault.

You know, I've often felt guilt for things. And I've come to realize now that I'm getting healthier-minded that alot of those things that I felt guilty for really were not my fault, nor were they my things to feel guilty about.
Please don't be so hard on yourself.
Your mom Chose to do as she did. The accident was a result of that choice. And those had absolutely NOTHING to do with you.

((((Ashley))))

Pick-a-name

(((Ashley))) everyone else had said it so well!

Just wanted you to know that I am also thinking about you and keeping you and your mother in my prayers!

Hurting Inside

Thanks everyone..Please keep praying though. Shes's doing a little better. I don't like to go to the hospital. But my dads there now and he says shes doing better and there is now a greater chance of her living. But shes in ICU still. Ill keep you guys posted. And thanx again for all the prayers.

Ash

best

Thank you for the update. My prayer is for when mom gets better that this will be the wake up call that has her find a sober way of life.
She is in God's hands and He will guide the DRs.

cwohio

((ashley)) more prayers going out to you and your family. may God wrap you in his comforting arms!

denny57

((((ash)))

Missy

this is my fear of my AH... I forsee this happening and being blammed for everything till his last breath and then having to live with it...the "should have Could have" I think may be there. Try to keep the three "C"'s in mind. Say the serenity prayer daily and give your battles over to your HP>
Missy xo