lyn_blossom78

Geesh! One day, everything, and I do mean everything seems as normal as everyone else's life. Since my A has been drinking less, he thinks ever-so-much more clearly, and (usually) thinks before he speaks! Now, his habit has been to belittle, condescend, etc., and that is the first thing that wants to pop out of his mouth, but since he isn't drinking as much, he is more level headed, and is becoming more normal--does that make sense. And then we have a morning like this morning where he's irky, and mouthy, and I realize it's not always entirely alcohol--it's just the way he is.

Sometimes when he's drinking a lot, the things he says--whew! Things like "sorry is for losers!" huh huh--duh, where did that come from? My oldest daughter once said to him (when talking about another alcoholic we know) drinking destroys braincells, and you don't get to pick which ones it destroys! I loved it. He still doesn't see himself as anyone who really does drink--much! When we talk about other A's we know, I can talk to him about their situation, and most of the time it doesn't sink in to him that I know this stuff from first-hand experience--at least he doesn't let on that it sinks in. Like the guy that came in for a job interview last week in the morning--smelling like alcohol! My husband called me into his office right after he left and said--"do you smell that?" I said yes. He said--"is it alcohol? This early in the morning?" I said yes, but he probably just smells that bad from tying one on last night. He said--"that bad the next morning?" I said yes--that's what a person smells like the morning after he drinks way too much! I didn't have to say anymore! I didn't have to tell him how he smells on Sunday morning ushering at church! Perhaps that conversation is why he's laying off some.

Some of you may think I'm monitering his drinking--I use to, but try not to anymore! But, I can tell from his attitude when he is, and when he isn't!

Anyways, though we had a rough morning, for the most part, we are making some headway, I think! Thanks for listening.

Lyn

NoDoubt

You and your husband sound like myself and my husband.

I can't stand the way the bedroom smells after he has slept in it! I feel like the smell is rubbing off on me. Unfortunately, my husband lost his sense of smell years ago. He had polpys removed 2 years ago and he regained his sense of smell but it has since gone away again. So, he has no idea how bad he smells from alcohol.

He too, does not think he has a problem. But, can easily see it in my mother and gets frustrated by her alcoholism.

Anyway, hopefully the rest of your day is better.

NoDoubt

SandyW

Hi there:
I can sure relate to all that you both said.....especially about the "smell in the bedroom"....yukky is right.
My "A" had 30 days......I gave him his token at his AA meeting, but I'm wondering now? I don't spend a lot of time worrying about it. I practice my own program of Ala-non.
Last night he started ranting about the war issues and all the injustices that he suffered in Vietnam with the American people when he returned to the US. It sounded so Alcoholic. I made the mistake of saying so and he really reacted. I feel my statement was correct. We can think whatever we want but sometimes not a good idea to say it? He completely forgot it this morning. So, only he knows and it's up to him to stay sober.
I gave my "A" the choice of a good life together which we've had for 15 years now, or drinking and living on the streets. It's his choice!!!!!!!
((Hugs))

liddy

Hi (((lyn)))
just a message of encouragment sent your way
you sound like your doing good and letting some
of what he says go right back his way. maybe he'll
hear himself one day !
I just realized tonight we share the same state-cool
I try and check in here every day not always talking
just taking it all in is a help, you guys are an encouragement
to me, who this time last yr was a nut case !
I take it your husband does not think he has a problem?
sounds like he thinks he can manage the whole thing on
his own, I guess we all think that way till we bottom out.

gl to you lyn-one day at a time !
Hugs
liddy
ps. my xdaughter in law said when my son drank it seemed to
come out of his pours,wondering is thats another sign of alcoholism ?

EmotionalMeg

I know exactly what you mean about the attitudes... It's amazing how much of their alcoholic behavior "becomes" them, even when they are NOT using. For the most part, I try to steer clear of my A when he is in a "mood"... and getting the kids out of the house is alwys a good idea too. Don't get me wrong, he's not a monster around the house, but he has a tendancy to react to stress at the drop of a hat... I on the other hand am quite a bit more mellow, and rational. Sometimes we have to allow them to be in "pissy" moods, as long as we don't allow OURSELVES to be the victims of it... Just walk away, thats what I do.
Take care,
Meg

lyn_blossom78

Thank you so much for your replies.

I think we all have a lot in common. You're right Liddy, he doesn't think he has a problem--at least not one he can't cure by himself! Glad to see another fellow Ohioan!

And SandyW, mine rants and raves over "issues" all the time. As a matter of fact, everything is an issue! A huge issue!

Thanks again for listening!

Lyn

SandyW

.....and thank God we have each other...........

((Hugs)) to all