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Wipe your paws elsewhere!
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 3,672
They're always "sorry for drinking"...day after day, after day, after day. Believe me, just because he's sorry doesn't mean he won't drink again. In fact, if he wasn't under the influence at the time of your conversation, chances are he drank moments after speaking to you.
If there's one thing I've learned about alcoholics through my research and by observing my AB's behavior over the years, it's this:
If they are actively still drinking, it's safe to assume that alcoholics are ALWAYS under the influence of alcohol. It's just a matter of how drunk they are at the moment.
Don't let one phone conversation convince you that everything will be OK. Until he puts down the bottle permanently and you learn how your behavior contributes to the problem, things in your relationship won't be OK.
If there's one thing I've learned about alcoholics through my research and by observing my AB's behavior over the years, it's this:
If they are actively still drinking, it's safe to assume that alcoholics are ALWAYS under the influence of alcohol. It's just a matter of how drunk they are at the moment.
Don't let one phone conversation convince you that everything will be OK. Until he puts down the bottle permanently and you learn how your behavior contributes to the problem, things in your relationship won't be OK.
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: anywhere but here
Posts: 25
Be careful
Birdlegs,
I, too married an alcoholic husband. I was 22, adored him and had no idea how hard it would be for him to stop. He's a wonderful, loving man. Gives me everything and is a devoted father to our 2 kids. It's been 15 years and a damn roough ride. Although he's never been violent or even really unkind, I worry constantly that he will drink while with the kids (he's done that) or when I'm away. I never feel safe with him. I would advise against marriage until he's sober for some time (2 years minimum). Alcohol is like acid...it ruins everything in it's path. He's a great man with a horrible problem. Wouldn't wish this on anyone.
Best of luck and keep reading all you can!
I, too married an alcoholic husband. I was 22, adored him and had no idea how hard it would be for him to stop. He's a wonderful, loving man. Gives me everything and is a devoted father to our 2 kids. It's been 15 years and a damn roough ride. Although he's never been violent or even really unkind, I worry constantly that he will drink while with the kids (he's done that) or when I'm away. I never feel safe with him. I would advise against marriage until he's sober for some time (2 years minimum). Alcohol is like acid...it ruins everything in it's path. He's a great man with a horrible problem. Wouldn't wish this on anyone.
Best of luck and keep reading all you can!
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