"I don't know how you do it"
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: In Search of Finding ME!
Posts: 1,246
"I don't know how you do it"
I hear this All the time! And really, I've not given much thought to it as I always knew that they were implying that they knew where I worked and knew that I didn't make a lot of money. So I figured they were always referring to how I manage financially.
But tonight, I was thinking about how I do manage. I was thinking about all the things that I have accomplished over the past few years! And then, I remembered many years ago - people then used to say "I don't know how you do it" but then, they had been referring to how I put up with AH, his drinking, etc. Funny that I had forgotten about that really.
"I don't know how you do it" they used to say.
Well, I used to do it by living in my own land of denial as I would cling to any hope that I could. I cried, I begged, I screamed, I reacted badly, I was depressed, miserable, felt hopeless and helpless. I felt alone, I was embarrassed, and I withdrew from people as I hid the truth of our marriage. And I hurt!!!!!!!!
"I don't know how you do it" they say now.
Well, let me tell ya. I do it using the tools and the support that I get from strangers I've "met" on the internet who have taught me so much. I have done it through listening and learning, helping myself, and trying. I have become proof almost of the mantra "God helps those that help themselves" for when I started trying, I was blessed with so many good things.
I do it with determination, strength, and courage. I do it by budgeting, skimping, being realistic, and frugal as all get out! LOL. I also do it with the help of my Dad, who is my biggest emotional supporter - the neighbor guys and their understanding wives, who helps me out when my mower has died, the weedeater wouldn't start, and I needed help with heavy lifting, etc. And I've learned through this time WHO are my REAL friends - those that are there for me - to listen and pick me back up when I fall.
I do it knowing that there is a Higher Power that will guide me and help me. I do it knowing that someone out there has it worse than me. I do it for my children. And I do it by trial and error.
For me - it's not so much the point of HOW I do it - but that I am doing it to the best of my abilities.
"I don't know you do it" they say. And I just laugh and usually reply "I'm trying".
(Thank you all for having been here for me, giving me the tools that I've learned to apply in my life, and for having taught me much and supported me in my journey. And to think.....it's just begun!!!)
But tonight, I was thinking about how I do manage. I was thinking about all the things that I have accomplished over the past few years! And then, I remembered many years ago - people then used to say "I don't know how you do it" but then, they had been referring to how I put up with AH, his drinking, etc. Funny that I had forgotten about that really.
"I don't know how you do it" they used to say.
Well, I used to do it by living in my own land of denial as I would cling to any hope that I could. I cried, I begged, I screamed, I reacted badly, I was depressed, miserable, felt hopeless and helpless. I felt alone, I was embarrassed, and I withdrew from people as I hid the truth of our marriage. And I hurt!!!!!!!!
"I don't know how you do it" they say now.
Well, let me tell ya. I do it using the tools and the support that I get from strangers I've "met" on the internet who have taught me so much. I have done it through listening and learning, helping myself, and trying. I have become proof almost of the mantra "God helps those that help themselves" for when I started trying, I was blessed with so many good things.
I do it with determination, strength, and courage. I do it by budgeting, skimping, being realistic, and frugal as all get out! LOL. I also do it with the help of my Dad, who is my biggest emotional supporter - the neighbor guys and their understanding wives, who helps me out when my mower has died, the weedeater wouldn't start, and I needed help with heavy lifting, etc. And I've learned through this time WHO are my REAL friends - those that are there for me - to listen and pick me back up when I fall.
I do it knowing that there is a Higher Power that will guide me and help me. I do it knowing that someone out there has it worse than me. I do it for my children. And I do it by trial and error.
For me - it's not so much the point of HOW I do it - but that I am doing it to the best of my abilities.
"I don't know you do it" they say. And I just laugh and usually reply "I'm trying".
(Thank you all for having been here for me, giving me the tools that I've learned to apply in my life, and for having taught me much and supported me in my journey. And to think.....it's just begun!!!)
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Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: In my little piece of heaven
Posts: 2,870
Great post SS ! You show a great deal of recovery in your responses. My answer would be similar to yours ...and I would add One day at a Time, with the help of my HP.
BIG hugs
Cat
BIG hugs
Cat
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