How should I pass through?
 

My husband says that he knows he has a drinking problem and it is nothing I can do about it and it's not about me. But he's still drinking, every night and sometimes in the afternoon (IE saturdays). He says he loves me and he'll never leave me and the one who's gonna leave him it's me. Why he's saying all these things? Why he want me out and get somebody better? The problem is that I don't want anybody else, I want him and I want him healthy, but I'm afraid it is not possible right now.
I don't know how to pass through this, everyday is getting harder and I can't pretend any longer that's nothing is happenning to me.
Is this the real love? or I am sick as he is?

Unfortunately, alcoholism is a disease that makes EVERYONE involved with the alcoholic sick. You start to doubt yourself because you live with a person who says one thing, then does another. They aren't consistent in their actions or their words. After awhile you start to get frustrated, then you want them to stop drinking, then you try to make them stop drinking, and then you get kinda crazy yourself because they keep saying they'll quit yet they continue to drink.

Pick up "Codependent No More" by Melodie Beattie. If you can, attend an Al-Anon meeting - give it a try. The meetings will NOT tell you how to get the alcoholic sober, but they will help you to realize you're dealing with someone who has a disease. You will learn more about yourself. You will also learn there is nothing you can do to get an alcoholic sober. They have to do that on their own.

The 3 C's: you didn't cause it, you can't control it, and you can't cure it. I'm sure you love your husband very much, but you have no power to make him quit drinking. Don't take it personally when he says things that make you think he wants you to leave. A lot of alcoholics isolate themselves and want everybody, including their spouse and children, to just leave them alone. I've lived alone with my husband for quite awhile. Sometimes he comes back and connects and is wonderful, but far too often he just zones out and acts as if I'm not here. That's the nature of the disease, and it's a tragedy.

My AH is also one of those self-aware drinkers. He is not an everyday drinker, he's a binge drinker. We can go a week or two with no drinking, but pretyy much when he does drink, he goes all out. My AH tells me too that he'll never leave me and that he loves me and I am the one he wants to spend the rest of his life with.......then he drinks.
I am just starting on my recovery journey...hop on, it is very freeing. Codependant No More is a wonderful book, get and read it, then read it again. People on this board are very helpful, take what you can use and toss the rest. Good luck to you!
brooklyn

Dont try to figure it out and keep reminding yourself its not you. This will only me you crazy. I know how you feel when he says yes I have a drinking problem in one sentence and then keeps drinking. Thats the disease a healthly person would do something about the problem. Anyway,hang in there and stay here lots of people to help.

Thank you guys, you even know me and you are here. I really apreciate your answers.