paradox

Hi,

One of my sister-in-laws showed me this site and I've been reading the posts but haven't had time to post myself. My husband is passed out now so I might as well take advantage of the opportunity.

I have just started going back to alanon after an absence of 1 and 1/2 years. I'm hoping that meetings and occassionally venting here will keep me relatively sane. My mother-in-law recently had a heart attack but instead of following dr's advice she seems to be trying to be even more active than she was before the heart attack.

My husband is upset and worried because she won't take care of herself and is using this as an excuse for binging (he would do it even without an excuse but now thinks he's justified)

I'm glad to have found this site. Reading the posts helps me feel connected and not so cut off when I can't get to a meeting. Also can anyone give me any insight about when one should get a sponsor. I've never had one and the thought of asking someone makes me feel kind of nervous and anxious.

Thanks

nana05

WELL I CAN SAY IS WELCOME. THERE ARE ALOT OF GOOD PEOPLE HERE THAT WILL HELP YOU.. RIGHT NOW I AM PRETTY SCREWED UP, SO I AM NOT VERY GOOD AT GIVING ADVICE... CAUSE I THINK EVERYBODY SHOULD JUST RUN AND START A WHOLE NEW LIFE THAN SUFFER WITH AN ADDICT,, BUT THAT IS NOT RIGHT.. THERE ARE SUCCESS STORIES,, I JUST HAVENT HAD ONE..
SO STICK AROUND, KEEP POSTING AND YOU WILL GET SOME PEOPLE THAT WILL GIVE YOU HOPE....BUT JUST ALWAYS REMEMBER YOU ARE WORTH SOMETHING... AND YOU ARE A VERY STRONG PERSON...

Josie

Hi Paradox-welcome!
I can't answer the sponsor question due
to I don't go to meetings, but there will
be others here to answer.
It's great you are going back to meetings,
and I'm glad you found this site.
Keep coming back!

Hugs,

JT

Welcome,

I asked a woman to be my sponsor pretty early on...she was a lady with a soft touch who had what I wanted. I was already beating myself up so badly that I craved nurturing as well as guidance. She became a good friend as well as my guide.

My advise would be to ask the person who shines for you...who has a good bit of recovery and perhaps even a similar life. My son is my addict and I would have a difficult time sponsoring someone who was dealing primarily with her husband or boyfriend...so I would have to decline. If someone does decline your request it has nothing to do with you. It could be timing or lack of time or any one of a hundred things. Just move on.

Good Luck!
JT

cindyintn

I agree...there are lots of people in these messages boards who are supportive and who give good advice.
It's certainly not easy living with an alcoholic, been there and done that!
Keep us posted on how you are doing.
Hugs,
Cindy

liddy

hi Paradox
welcome ! this is a great site for the
comraderie we all have in our lives
being touched/changed by someones alcoholism.
I went into alanon in late april last yr and
had a sponser quite soon, i didnt talk at the
meetings because being in such pain all i would
of done is cry.having a sponser was a God send
in having someone to talk to and gave me her
experience and strength it always helped.
I encourage you to do that and am sure your
higher power will direct you, its scary to ask
but it turned out so simple and been such a blessing.

Gl to you
Hugs
liddy

Gabe

You will find a lot of great advice and wonderful support here. Glad you said hello!
Peace,
Gabe

pat

Hi Paradox,

This is my 1st day here--haven't spent time lurking as I'm such a chatterbox!

Sorry about your husband. It's so good to be able to come here and commiserate and find support and encouragement.

I have a 25 yo son whom I just found out today checked himself into a rehab. That's good and bad news as I didnt' know he'd returned to drug use so much.

I can't get to Al-Anon meetings because my car's broken down right now, so this board is a tremendous find for me!

Looking forward to getting acquainted with everyone!

Pat

paradox

Thanks for the replies and advice it is much appreciated.