prodigal

"Getting Them Sober" by Toby Rice Drews. I picked it up at the bookstore and figured, "Why not?" The title had me curious. I didn't know any living being could get any other being sober! After reading it, my first reaction was "Pavlov's dogs" and the "Skinnerian Operant" (named for B.F. Skinner's research with pigeons). It just sounded, IMHO, that if one positively reinforces an A when they're not drinking and on good behavior and ignores them when they're drinking and acting crazy, that they'll modify their drinking behavior.

Am I missing the point of this book? Did I read my personal bias into what the author actually meant? I'd welcome opinions and comments on this.

StandingStrong

I've not read the book though I've heard it mentioned on this forum quite often. I believe that this book may actually be a part of a series of books if memory serves me correctly from the other threads I've seen it mentioned in here.
I'm sure that someone will come along soon that has read the book.

escape artist

yes i have read it and it is a very good book. the title is for those who have never heard that you can't get them sober...but it does explain very well what you CAN do and it also really helped me see things the way they truly are while being VERY supportive to the codie spouse.

i liked the one part about how a woman whose A kept calling her in a drunken state (they were separated) and she would lovingly tell him that she understood it was his disease that was saying these things....and he did make the decision to sober up. (that could have been in the other book though)
Definitely written by a good "counselor" who understands what the blocks are that keep us stuck in alcoholic relationships and then reinforces what we can do for ourselves- and certain things the A will do or say to keep us there. GREAT BOOK.

i also read another one after that (about separations-maybe it was number 4) which she recommended giving to your divorce lawyer so that they REALLY understand what we are dealing with as far as dealing with an alcoholic situation.

Pick-a-name

GREAT BOOKS!! all of them...................and in case you are wondering: very pro-Alanon and Melody Beattie.

You can read excepts of several of the books free online (http://www.GettingThemSober.com)

The author is a counselor,who also teaches/taught counselors counseling for family members of addicts. She also grew up in an alcoholic home and I believe possibly is/was married to an alcoholic. Her emphasis is on helping the family to recover. Taking the focus off the addict and putting it back on ourself. (The title is to get the attention of codies.IMO and also alludes to the fact that families getting healthy can also have a positive impact on the alcoholic/addict making that choice,too...)

Very "gentle" healing to help break down denial and shame,etc enough for a family member to start to get help and support for themself.

I can not recommend these books enough. They are what got me here and finally seeking help for ME...not just AH. I have noticed that each time I reread them, I get something more out of them (probably as my own denial slips and I am more willing to see things. JMO)

Zoey

Great books! You did reread "Under the Influence" didn't you?

denny57

I enjoyed the book. Very straightforward approach - I read it at a time I needed reassurance I was living with alcoholism. I didn't have a clue.

StrongR2Day

I just got a second copy of Getting Them Sober (my first one was lost) from the author. This was my "bible" while living with a practicing alcoholic while I was in recovery myself. I found it a practical guide to dealing with the insanity of alcoholism on a day to day basis. You'd have thought being in recovery myself, I would have known how to deal with it, but I was as lost as the next person, if not more so because I had that sympathy and guilt thing going on.

I found it to be more about self care and recognizing the insanity, than reconditioning the alcoholic thinking.

CatsTail

Prodigal,

They are very good books. They gave me a lot of much needed insight and strength.

Take care

Ngaire