A little tug at the heartstrings...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 2,333
A little tug at the heartstrings...
For the newer people here, a little background:
My ex fiancee John moved back with his parents May 2005.
I couldn't take anymore, hit my bottom and made him leave.
He was hospitalized at least once a month for 2 years and
went through a few programs....lost his auto, job, money,
pride and our relationship..(take notice that our relationship
was the last thing he lost.) We were together 2.5 years.
He ended up moving to NY last Christmas with his ex-wife and
11 year old son. The son was really calling the shots for these
2 people and they all allegedly live together because it "easier."
Who knows, doesn't really matter to me at this point anyway.
Today, his mom called me she lives in PA.
Said she had been thinking about me and wondered how my kids
and I were doing. She told me her husband was becoming more ill
and she wasn't well herself. I was sorry to hear that, she is a nice
woman. I told her we were well and she was geniunely happy
about that. She said she thinks about us from time to time. I thiink
she harbors some guilt as to how her son was...not her fault in
the least. She did mention John...I didn't ask...I was thinking about
asking, but I didn't. She asked me if I had heard from him lately,
I said I hadn't. She said he is still living at his ex's house with their son.
Again..she said it's easier for all of them that way...lol... whatever
that means....She stressed that they weren't toegther as a couple...OK
She said he is working at the tv station, the job he had told me about
back in May. Glad to hear he has kept a job for the last 4 months....
she said he isn't drinking..."well maybe 1 or 2 a night as Liz(ex) won't
put up with it." I had to laugh...an alcoholic telling his mom
1 or 2 a night....how somethings never change....and yet some
actually do.......
My ex fiancee John moved back with his parents May 2005.
I couldn't take anymore, hit my bottom and made him leave.
He was hospitalized at least once a month for 2 years and
went through a few programs....lost his auto, job, money,
pride and our relationship..(take notice that our relationship
was the last thing he lost.) We were together 2.5 years.
He ended up moving to NY last Christmas with his ex-wife and
11 year old son. The son was really calling the shots for these
2 people and they all allegedly live together because it "easier."
Who knows, doesn't really matter to me at this point anyway.
Today, his mom called me she lives in PA.
Said she had been thinking about me and wondered how my kids
and I were doing. She told me her husband was becoming more ill
and she wasn't well herself. I was sorry to hear that, she is a nice
woman. I told her we were well and she was geniunely happy
about that. She said she thinks about us from time to time. I thiink
she harbors some guilt as to how her son was...not her fault in
the least. She did mention John...I didn't ask...I was thinking about
asking, but I didn't. She asked me if I had heard from him lately,
I said I hadn't. She said he is still living at his ex's house with their son.
Again..she said it's easier for all of them that way...lol... whatever
that means....She stressed that they weren't toegther as a couple...OK
She said he is working at the tv station, the job he had told me about
back in May. Glad to hear he has kept a job for the last 4 months....
she said he isn't drinking..."well maybe 1 or 2 a night as Liz(ex) won't
put up with it." I had to laugh...an alcoholic telling his mom
1 or 2 a night....how somethings never change....and yet some
actually do.......
Acting not reacting
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: My happy place
Posts: 1,788
Whats changed my friend..is you.
You are recovering.
That would have been a hard call for me to take.
Im not sure how composed I would have remained.
Im proud of you.
Big hugs to you
You are recovering.
That would have been a hard call for me to take.
Im not sure how composed I would have remained.
Im proud of you.
Big hugs to you
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 5,075
Ah, Patty, I know it isn't easy. You are a true inspiration - doing what you know is right for you even when it doesn't always feel so good. Wouldn't it be great if we all had those Star Trek transporters? We'd be having dinner tonight at your favorite spot. ((()))
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 2,333
Thanks you guys...you know I discovered something very positive...
I just re-read my post...I see all kinds of recovery going on in it.
By George I really have grown..
Once upon a time I wouldn't have cared how anyone was doing...
All I would have been focused on was my pain and what I supposedly lost.
Denny you are so imaginative...I love it.....
I just re-read my post...I see all kinds of recovery going on in it.
By George I really have grown..
Once upon a time I wouldn't have cared how anyone was doing...
All I would have been focused on was my pain and what I supposedly lost.
Denny you are so imaginative...I love it.....
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: England
Posts: 3,410
Good going, Patty.
I'm not sure I could have refrained from having a bitch-fest if any of R's family got in touch. Although it is more likely that I will be crowned Queen of England than any contact from them, given the stories that have likely been told.
Proud of you, sweetie. See? No drama is a good thing!!
I'm not sure I could have refrained from having a bitch-fest if any of R's family got in touch. Although it is more likely that I will be crowned Queen of England than any contact from them, given the stories that have likely been told.
Proud of you, sweetie. See? No drama is a good thing!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 2,333
I have no problem with his Mom. She totally understands what
I went through, she knows her son for who he is...she is not
in denial, just a mom that loves her son.
I find it helpful to my recovery to hear bits and pieces
about people in my past...helps me to realize how wise I
was to make the choices I did and do today.
and thank you Minnie
I went through, she knows her son for who he is...she is not
in denial, just a mom that loves her son.
I find it helpful to my recovery to hear bits and pieces
about people in my past...helps me to realize how wise I
was to make the choices I did and do today.
and thank you Minnie
One brief hour...
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Anywhere, USA
Posts: 1,412
Wouldn't it be great if we all had those Star Trek transporters? We'd be having dinner tonight at your favorite spot. ((()))
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: In Search of Finding ME!
Posts: 1,246
Patty, you just continue to keep growing and be such an inspiration.
Thank you for sharing.
Truly - you have grown and I have the feeling that you're going to just keep on soaring! Congratulations!!
Thank you for sharing.
Truly - you have grown and I have the feeling that you're going to just keep on soaring! Congratulations!!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,431
Patty, you said something that is real and helpful for me.
I, too, benefit from hearing and sometimes seeing things/people from the past...so that my viewpoint doesn't remain stuck in the past....and I get to reality test. It has often helped me gain a closure that I don't think I would have without it.
Seeing things from a distance of space and time is sure alot different than when in the middle of it.
thanks,
live
I, too, benefit from hearing and sometimes seeing things/people from the past...so that my viewpoint doesn't remain stuck in the past....and I get to reality test. It has often helped me gain a closure that I don't think I would have without it.
Seeing things from a distance of space and time is sure alot different than when in the middle of it.
thanks,
live
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