Pick-a-name

Hey; humor me . The other night we took our daughter to college, had dinner and A drank two beers. An hour of two later,we left and he drove my car back home, and left in his own car and drove back to where he lives.

I got into the driver's seat and smelled...THAT SMELL! Ugh! Yuck. Just like the smell during the night when used to drink the night away and we slept in the same bed. I have only noticed it a few times recently on him...probably because I very rarely see him during "drinking time" and/or because up until a few weeks ago he had made a point of not drinking ANY alcohol in front of the kids or me.

My question....do ALL people smell that "through the pours" smell even after a beer or two (I never noticed it before) and I just now detect it more or could it just be he is that much more toxic. (He is almost 52 and has been drinking since a teen.daily for at least 20 years).

It just shocked me,I guess. Not quite sure why but I really never smelled it on him like that until hours later. It was hot out but don't remember people being that smelly at a picnic,etc.

Any observations. I'm curious about this.

sunshine003

I hardly think I smell that way after two drinks. I'm sure it's due to how often he drinks and for how long he's been drinking for. very interesting.

marriedithink

I've noticed just being away from him and his smell, I'm alot more sensitive to it now. He slept on the couch the other night, sober. But I could smell him in the livingroom anyway. I think he stinks all the time now, he's so saturated. I think it would take some time to get rid of the smell all together.

mfisher

I was told the reason for the smell is because the liver and kidneys could not filter properly and so the toxins from the alcohol would go directly into the system and out the pores. The smell became worse as the disease progressed.

denny57

Very early in our relationship, maybe about 15-16 years ago I made a passing comment to AH that he had a particular "scent." He freaked. If I only knew then . . .

pmaslan

Denny...I love those two little words..."If only...."
Things would certainly be different in my corner of the world....

queenteree

It is my understanding that a certain "smell" on someone who has liver problems could signal hepatic encephalopathy, which can cause a change in personality and cause someone to become violent, moody, etc. It can also progress to coma. If anyone's A hasn't been to a dr. recently and has unknown liver issues, that may be the case since alcohol can contribute to it. It is a sweet/musty or garlicky odor. It is caused by a build up of toxins because the liver can't filter it out. Hope this helps.

denny57

Yep, this is what the doctor told me, liver problems. I started noticing it 15 years ago! It got worse.

pmaslan

and it could be that he constantly has alcohol in his system,
on his breathe, ect......

blizzard77

God, I hated that smell enough to stop sleeping in the same room with him 3 years before he got sober (only six months) but I am proud of him for this accomplishment. We still are not sharing a room because aside from not drinking he's the same, I'm the same so we're working on ourselves. We used to live in Buffalo and had a coat closet in the front hall with our winter coats in it. Everytime I opened that door the smell came rushing out at me like a swarm of bees. Everything he owned reeked..car, clothes, coats, winter hats, baseball caps. Yuck!!!! Don't miss that at all.

prodigal

When my AH drank shots of Scotch as well as wine he positively reeked. It was bad enough that in three different jobs since '02, co-workers have complained. This last time around when they complained, I couldn't pick up on the smell; however, he had stopped drinking hard liquor (except for an occasional bottle of vodka). He restricted himself to pulling wine drunks. Still, others he worked with smelled it. Maybe my sinuses have gotten worse or I've built up an immunity to the stench! I certainly will NEVER forget it - YUCK!!!

Pick-a-name

Hahaha..I SWEAR I could almost smell it now when I read this!!!! Thanks for the laugh.

StandingStrong

OMG, I am always amazed at just how I forget that smell. Then I read this post and I'm instantly reminded. For me though - when I think of that smell, I instantly remember AH's side of the bed and how wet it would be from the sweat and toxins that had expelled throughout his pores. You all have no idea how many sets of sheets were ruined from those night sweats! Ugh! The smell was horrendous!!!!
Interesting enough, I never knew until about a year ago that those "night sweats" were caused from the drinking. AH was always hot and sweat easily, so I had assumed for YEARS that it was just his normal sweating. But thinking back on the smell and how much he drank, etc - I know better now.

Thanks for this post. I truly think that remembering the smell and the releasing of toxins through the pores really is one of the things that I can add to my list of things that I DONT miss.

Pick-a-name

SS: that's what I remember,too.....the bed and T-shirts drenched in that "oily,heavy,smelly yellow film"...... That is what surprised me, I guess, the other night. Like you, it wasn't until just a year or two ago that I realized that those night sweats were from drinking (I don't know why; we had slept in the same bed for 20yrs without that happening; "equipment failure" started at the same time,too...) I was surprised when I smelled it on him while he "upright and acting more normal". I didn't notice it just being in the same room,etc with him (come to think of it, he road up in my daughter's car) but he did drink a few beers at dinner and then he drove my car and that is when I noticed it....on the car seat,after he left. Maybe he just smells like that all the time now;especially when he sweats for any reason. Maybe it was because he drank something...I do not know. Either way,doesn't sound very healthy.

I really "wasn't looking for it"......

This could be a good reminder/illustration to me why he acts the way he does these days..............I see him TRYING to do the right thing for the kids and me many times, but it is as if it is a lot of work for him to remember things not right in front of him; not just deliberate neglect. I am starting to understand on another level why it takes lots of time to clear up just the effects of the alcohol on the system in recovery, and why it would only be a starting point...

Thanks;good to know it is not, "just me"!

StandingStrong

Now you've got me thinking............

There have been a few times over the years that I had asked Ah if he'd been drinking because I thought I could smell alcohol in his vehicle. Most of those times were times that I didn't think he'd been drinking and that was why I'd ask him. It would catch me at odd times.
Now, I have to stop and think. Wondering if many of those times (if not all), maybe he really didn't lie to me. Maybe he really wasn't lying but was sweating the alcohol out of his system.
I remember once asking my friend if she thought the vehicle smelled like alcohol as I had driven it. She said that it smelled a little of alcohol, but that it was different somehow.
Hmm.........I wonder how long it actually takes to get those toxins out of the body for good? Or as you said, maybe it just becomes a regular smell, possibly from the liver damage and whatnot that has already been done.

Regardless......I still appreciate this post. I truly had forgotten just how awful that smell can be. And definately adding it to the "I don't miss" list. LOL

Pick-a-name

SS--I have heard it takes a minimum of about a month and possibly and additional month for each year of heavy drinking (I'm guessing that should my A ever stop, it would take about 3 yrs if those figures are correct.) Also, there are cycles of "detox" (physically) with PAWS, I am also told...

Now, you have me thinking....maybe he was starting in w/d the other night.it was past his usual drinking time (he is/at least was a nightly drinker...about dinner time on...) Might explain why he drank a few at dinner ( it was a late dinner and we still had things to do before our hour drive home) and he was getting antsy and talking less and getting more frustrated and short (although trying to keep it in check ) He usually goes out of his way NOT to drink around us. Interesting.

I forgot about those night sweats,too...HOW?! Before I moved to a different room, I used to prop a pillow between us to buffer the smell and snoring! haha....and usually he went upstairs first and shut the door; was out by the time I got the kids and dogs,etc organized. The smell whe I opened the door some nights could almost knock me back!! ha (It is sad and scarey,though.)

Thanks for getting me to think about this more,too.

Missy

my Ah always smells like that... he never sobers up enough to have it gone. After extensive years of drinking, I was told by a doctor that it does seep through the poors of the skin.
That was also true of my ex.Mother in Law when she had cancer. That awful cancer smell eventually came through her skin and stayed in our house. We had to get re painting and carpeting done when she died.
My AH's car smells and so does his closet.... ugh!

pmaslan

Karen my died passed away three years ago, he had cancer.
I can't say that I ever smelled anything....hmmmm

Pick-a-name

I remember the smell my mom had,towards the end...........hers was not exactly the same, but very similar. Both are such very "heavy" smells....

Aquiana

Wow! I just had to say that I'd never heard of the garlicky thing before now but it really makes alot of sense to me. My dad passed away from liver failure/cancer last month and this totally reminded me of the smell. He had it for a long time before he was diagnosed. I was always a little curious about it as it was way worse than just bad breath. Never thought much about it at the time. Now that I know that, it sounds like it could have been a major sign.

When G was drinking he had a different smell. Kind of a funny sweet smell. It almost wouldn't have been bad if I didn't always know what it meant. I could walk in the house after work and as soon as my foot crossed the threshold I knew he'd been drinking. He never could figure out how I always knew right away. He had no idea the smell radiated off him like that.