She moved out
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Florida
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She moved out
Well after giving up on holding an intervention knowing that it would have been wasted money and after trying to talk it out when she wasn’t drinking with love and a heart felt letter to get help. .She opted to leave. She left today to move into a rental property that is pretty much a step or two above low rent. In her own words I’m not going to stop drinking and I’m not the one who hasn’t compromised I want it all or nothing. And she is the same person drinking as not... I wish this were true? If that were the case she would still be here.
Anyway,I tried more then I should of as my therapist said. But, Im kind of hurting right now. The house still has her touch all over it and what not. She took the bare necessities and of course the booze. God I hate this disease and what it does to the loved ones of the A. Her daughter is hurting by this and said to me after discussing others that we know that got help. Why can’t my mother get help? I feel for her so much as she is hurting as I am. Well Its all over but the crying now
Anyway,I tried more then I should of as my therapist said. But, Im kind of hurting right now. The house still has her touch all over it and what not. She took the bare necessities and of course the booze. God I hate this disease and what it does to the loved ones of the A. Her daughter is hurting by this and said to me after discussing others that we know that got help. Why can’t my mother get help? I feel for her so much as she is hurting as I am. Well Its all over but the crying now
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: In Search of Finding ME!
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As cold as it sounds - we all have choices. She's made her choice. Now, it's up to you to choose how you want to live your life.
This has been a very slow, but yet learning process for me. I have had to realize that I can't control my Ah's choices, but I can make my own. That doesn't mean that things turn out the way I hope - but it reminds me that I have a choice too.
I can only imagine the pain you are feeling right now. I can only keep you in my thoughts and hope the best for you, her daughter, and your recovery! Please take care.
This has been a very slow, but yet learning process for me. I have had to realize that I can't control my Ah's choices, but I can make my own. That doesn't mean that things turn out the way I hope - but it reminds me that I have a choice too.
I can only imagine the pain you are feeling right now. I can only keep you in my thoughts and hope the best for you, her daughter, and your recovery! Please take care.
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Join Date: Jan 2006
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No its not cold it was her choices to leave as it was to drink and agree you can not control them or change them. You can only hope that my some slim chnage they will see what itis doing to their live and the people around them.
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Starting over all over again
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Hey Dan, I'm sorry to hear she chose to leave. My wife did pretty much the same thing, chose her addiction and her boyfriends over our marriage. I also had all of her "touches" left behind, each one a beautiful memory of the good times we had.
The first few days were rough on me, I kept second-guessing myself. I know today that our separation is the best chance she has at facing the reality of her addictions, and the best chance for me to get back to having a life worth living.
You, and all your loved ones are in my prayers
Mike
The first few days were rough on me, I kept second-guessing myself. I know today that our separation is the best chance she has at facing the reality of her addictions, and the best chance for me to get back to having a life worth living.
You, and all your loved ones are in my prayers
Mike
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Dazed
I wish I could hae been the one to leave so I wouldnt have to see the reminders of the good things. But,it is my house. I dont think this woman will every get help she's to far gone Good luck to you We on the same trail so to speak
I wish I could hae been the one to leave so I wouldnt have to see the reminders of the good things. But,it is my house. I dont think this woman will every get help she's to far gone Good luck to you We on the same trail so to speak
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Join Date: Jul 2005
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Sorry to hear this news Dan. But it was probably a long time in coming.
I felt that way too, at first. But getting rid of stuff I never really liked anyway, painting, moving furniture around... al this helped me a lot.
Originally Posted by dan1958
I wish I could hae been the one to leave so I wouldnt have to see the reminders of the good things.
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Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Lost in NC
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Hi Dan,
Your not alone. My wife abandoned me and the kids too. She chose the wine and her rehab lover over us. She gave up everything for her new life. A nice upper middle class lifestyle, two beautiful little girls, her own family, and of course me.
There is no understanding of this nightmare.....just acceptance and trying to move on. In a way I guess it is a blessing she is not around and no longer living in my home town. Her behavior was growing more and more erratic, 3 DWI's, embarassing the family and kids.
Things will get better over time. Life without an active alcoholic in your life is better than the drama you live with when they are around.
Hugs to you and yours.
Your not alone. My wife abandoned me and the kids too. She chose the wine and her rehab lover over us. She gave up everything for her new life. A nice upper middle class lifestyle, two beautiful little girls, her own family, and of course me.
There is no understanding of this nightmare.....just acceptance and trying to move on. In a way I guess it is a blessing she is not around and no longer living in my home town. Her behavior was growing more and more erratic, 3 DWI's, embarassing the family and kids.
Things will get better over time. Life without an active alcoholic in your life is better than the drama you live with when they are around.
Hugs to you and yours.
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Florida
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jazz thx yes,we were headed for this from the moment we first got together. I hung in as long as I could It now in her habds as its always has. Who knows what will make her see clearly and get help? It might never happen,
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Join Date: Jul 2006
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Dan,
I'm sorry you are going through this. I am faced with a similiar situation. I told AH, verbally and in a letter that the choice was to get help for alcoholism and his abusive tendancies or our marriage had to end. I am no longer willing to live with things the way they have been. He told me he didn't want to change. He was "happy" with things the way they were. Problem is, I'm not. I feel I've lost myself and I am just now figuring that out and trying to find myself once again. It may take awhile, but I'm working on t. I hope you do too.
Please keep posting.
I'm sorry you are going through this. I am faced with a similiar situation. I told AH, verbally and in a letter that the choice was to get help for alcoholism and his abusive tendancies or our marriage had to end. I am no longer willing to live with things the way they have been. He told me he didn't want to change. He was "happy" with things the way they were. Problem is, I'm not. I feel I've lost myself and I am just now figuring that out and trying to find myself once again. It may take awhile, but I'm working on t. I hope you do too.
Please keep posting.
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