I may have fixed my picker
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Buffalo,WV
Posts: 47
I may have fixed my picker
Since I've been coming here I have taken a closer look at myself and tried to figure out why I have made some bad choices in partners. I owe each and every one of you a thank you...a big thank you. My ABF brought me here...he is gone!! It took me a long time to see life wasn't going to change..at least not for the better with him in my life..and took me a even longer time to change it and some not answering calls..screening my calls ect...anyway, I finally broke things off with him completely late last winter. I had meet him at a online dating site, and yet I decided to give it one more try. I met a guy...very nice...we dated for about 3 months...but he was going through a divorce and still very mixed about his feelings...and instead of talking to me about things he just ended it....not even in person...so I was thinking I still hadn't fixed my picker.
Shortly after that a guy I have known for years stopped by work one day, a really frustrating day, I work sort of retail, anyway we were talking and I made a comment how bad dating sucks (he had divorced a couple years earlier) anyway...we chatted a while and he asked me if I would go out with him, I said yes. He stopped by work again about a week later and ask me if I was really serious about going out with him and I told him I was. We went out and had a great time..and it 's 3 months later and we are still going out...it's going great...he is kind, considerate, emotionally available, great dad to his son's, works hard, likes to enjoy life and isn't a drinker, or user of any kind, almost a health nut. Everyone who knows him likes him, haven't heard a bad word about him from anyone...everyone says he is one of the few good ones...and from what I've seen so far he is.
I don't think I would be where I am right now if it wasn't for coming here. I needed to see and hear things...not just about my exABF but about me, that I was making bad choices in men. I needed to hear that I was causing my own problems by those choices, and allowing myself to be treated bad. So I owe a HUGE thank you to all of you who have listened and who have wrote about your own problems...many of which mirrored my own and when you see it in writing it's a wake up call...at least for me it was...so thank you all and I hope this places changes your lives as much as it has mine. I still come to visit pretty often and see how everyone is doing and remind myself I don't want to go back to the way I was.
Shortly after that a guy I have known for years stopped by work one day, a really frustrating day, I work sort of retail, anyway we were talking and I made a comment how bad dating sucks (he had divorced a couple years earlier) anyway...we chatted a while and he asked me if I would go out with him, I said yes. He stopped by work again about a week later and ask me if I was really serious about going out with him and I told him I was. We went out and had a great time..and it 's 3 months later and we are still going out...it's going great...he is kind, considerate, emotionally available, great dad to his son's, works hard, likes to enjoy life and isn't a drinker, or user of any kind, almost a health nut. Everyone who knows him likes him, haven't heard a bad word about him from anyone...everyone says he is one of the few good ones...and from what I've seen so far he is.
I don't think I would be where I am right now if it wasn't for coming here. I needed to see and hear things...not just about my exABF but about me, that I was making bad choices in men. I needed to hear that I was causing my own problems by those choices, and allowing myself to be treated bad. So I owe a HUGE thank you to all of you who have listened and who have wrote about your own problems...many of which mirrored my own and when you see it in writing it's a wake up call...at least for me it was...so thank you all and I hope this places changes your lives as much as it has mine. I still come to visit pretty often and see how everyone is doing and remind myself I don't want to go back to the way I was.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Baltimore,MD
Posts: 150
Thank you for giving me hope. My picker has always been bad when it came to long term relationships. I've been too easily swept off of my feet looking for attention. I've always been a sucker.
Hopefully in time, my picker will work for me and not against me.
Congrats!
Hopefully in time, my picker will work for me and not against me.
Congrats!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Buffalo,WV
Posts: 47
I too have always been a sucker for attention it seems, and seems it always came from someone who wasn't available in some way or another. I've been divorced since 91 and had several relationships but never worked out for various reasons. I think it may have been a good thing for me in some ways have an ABF, I know that sounds SO STUPID!!! but it made me look at what was falling for all the time. I went from a drunk and high husband that liked other women more than me to several bad relationship to my thankfully now ex-ABF. He was the one who woke me up to my bad choices, I fell for his lies and excuses for a long time. I even hate to admit I stayed after he hit me a couple times...something I swore I would never do! But it brought me here...I listened...and listened alot to what all of you had to say...and told my story and you listened....and really listened. I've made friends here that have helped me so much more than you will probably ever realize because you were honest with me and with yourself about what we go through and what to expect...what life is like...what it will be like in the future. I finally realized I could still get out...I wasn't so far into the relationship that I couldn't walk away. I won't say it wasn't easy....it wasn't...very hard...but I for once had to do what was right for me. I promised myself I would and I would look before I leap the next time. I don't know what the future holds with me and my new boyfriend but I know things are great right now....he spoils me....he is open and honest with me...we can talk about most anything...we've both been hurt and still being cautious...but I see a future here...I even took him to 2 family reunions with me...lol...never did that before! I trust him completely....and I adore him...and I have all of you to thank for him...YOU ALL helped me fix my picker...and I thank you so much. Yes there is hope out there...just trust yourself....and learn to like and respect yourself...and don't settle for less....you guys are great!
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